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Friday Night Drabble Party!

The Party has returned!

I’m sure everyone noticed there was no Drabble Party last week. 4th of July and all. Shit went boom. Plus there was cornhole. (Note to self: create new erotica genre that Amazon will ban called “Cornhole Boom”.)

But the drabbletasticness of Friday Night Drabble Party is back and better than ever! EVER!

So, sit back with your favorite summer beverage or winter beverage for you folks that live down under. Hell. I’m talking about you people that live in Hell. What? You thought I was talking about New Zealand? Y’all are drinking tea in New Zealand right now. I know that. Because stereotypes make the world go round, yo!

And a billion hamsters at the center of the Earth. They make the world go round too. I wonder what they drink? And since they are in the center, do they have summer or winter? Maybe they live in Hell…

AntiBio is on sale for $.99! Buy it!

What was I talking about?

Right. Drabble.

Enjoy!

***

Little Things
By
Jake Bible

It’s the little things that make up this insane world.

Not the big things like food, air and water. No, we shit on those. They obviously don’t matter.

No, sir, life is made up of little things.

A wise man once said, “Don’t sweat the little things because it’s all little things.”

I think it was Snoopy that said that.

So, as I stand here on this ledge, looking down at the ants below -the little things-  and I can’t but wonder how not to sweat them. Wise words are good and all, but some instructions would be nice too.

***

Cheers!

BUY ANTIBIO! $.99!

Disclaimer: Don’t sweat it, it’s all good.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Time to get your Drabble on! It’s Party time!

I have actually prepped tonight’s drabble, and post, well in advance due to the fact I’ll be in Charlotte, NC when this posts. I’ll be on panels and have an author table at ConCarolinas! Come on out and see me, yo!

But int the meantime, how’s about you read some micro-fiction that will blow your mind!

KABLOOOOOSH!

Mind. Blown.

Enjoy!

***

Under The Influence
By
Jake Bible

The speedometer read “TWORK”. No worries, he’d seen TWORK before. Just a hallucination. He was sure he was going only 20 lps. Totally safe.

“Next left,” Bisch said. “Past the third asteroid.”

“Your left or my left?” Hollis asked. He didn’t want to ask about the asteroids; he assumed the giant floating baby heads were probably what Bisch was talking about.

“We have the same left!” Bisch snapped.

Hollis took the left and slammed on the brakes, sending the spacecraft into a power slide.

“No way I’m driving through that marshmallow,” Hollis said.

“Griff! How high are you?” Bisch yelled.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Just drive!

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Hey, there! You came back! I knew you wanted to Party with some free Drabble fiction!

Normally I’m pimping a book or two before I let loose the drabbley goodness. But not tonight!

Nope, tonight I’m pimping an AUDIOBOOK!

There’s a difference. Shut up.

I give you the MEGA audiobook!

Mega_audiobook

Mega: A Deep Sea Thriller!

There is something in the deep. Something large. Something hungry. Something prehistoric.

And Team Grendel must find it, fight it, and kill it.

Kinsey Thorne, the first female US Navy SEAL candidate has hit rock bottom. Having washed out of the Navy, she turned to every drink and drug she could get her hands on. Until her father and cousins, all ex-Navy SEALS themselves, offer her a way back into the life: as part of a private, elite combat Team being put together to find and hunt down an impossible monster in the Indian Ocean. Kinsey has a second chance, but can she live through it?

And there you have it! Can ya dig it? I knew that ya could. Click that cover!

On with the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Me And Boxes

By

Jake Bible

“What’s in the box?”

“Don’t start, Willie.”

“Just want to know what’s in the box, Al. That’s all. Not tryin’ to take it from ya or nuthin’.”

“I know that, Willie. But I’d rather not tell you what’s in the box. It’s none of your concern. Step away and we’ll be good.”

“Cain’t do that, Al. You got a box and I want to know what’s in it. You know me and boxes.”

Before Al can respond, Willie slams his fist in the man’s face and takes the box. He opens it and instantly begins to cry.

“Warned you, Willie.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: You never know, do you?

Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Fifteen: The Writer’s Obligation?

Captains ChairBlog

Ahoy, Mateys!

So, I had a great email exchange with a reader this week. It was one of those exchanges that helped me explain a little about my process. I have been granted permission to post the exchange, so I will. Then I’ll talk a little more about what it all means to me. I hope you all join in the discussion in the comments section. Keep it real and civil. No haters, yo!

From reader:

“I finished reading your book Z Burbia. I enjoyed it and the humor in it. Bought your second book. I hope you will be open minded when I say using insults in your book such as “fat fuck”, “fat cow” continue to bring a perception that fat people are lazy, ugly, and worth less than others who are not fat. Just to put it out front, yes I am myself overweight. The cause doesn’t matter. Fat people are fighting a perception battle that impacts their lives and families. This perception negatively effects their relationships, jobs and how society treats them as a whole. You,  I’m sure wouldn’t use derogatory wording with ethnic groups or physically or mentally disabled but people feel free to insult fat people for the sole crime of being over weight. I hope you understand my intent and that this isn’t a personal assault on you or your character. As an author you have the ability to shape our society. Thank you for taking the time to read this email. May you have success in all of your endeavors.
Sincerely, REDACTED”

My response:

“Thank you for reaching out and for this thoughtful email.

As a man that has yo-yo’ed my entire life, I personally get where you are coming from 100%. At my largest I was 265 (I’m 6 feet). I have a body type where I have to pay attention to what I eat or it goes straight to my gut. I get it, trust me. However, I am not my characters. In other novels I have characters that actually do put down ethnic/cultural groups and mentally disabled folk by calling them “nigger”, “spic”, “wetback”, “redneck”, “retard” and “faggot”. Yet I would never, ever use those words myself and would probably smack the shit out of someone that said them in my presence. But, as an author, I let my characters say what they say. They are “people” and people are flawed. I can’t have every character be perfect and golden or they wouldn’t be real. I hope you understand. And, let’s face it, my novels have murder, rape, cannibalism, religious cults, totalitarian regimes, serial killers, and some seriously disturbing imagery. I’m never going for huggy-feely with my words.

With that said, I don’t want you to feel like I’m blowing you off because I’m not. I write YA and middle grade novels also (soon to be released by Permuted Platinum) and those novels do not have any of that in there. Well, one does, but as a learning lesson and the offender is chastised brutally by his peers. For kids, I set an example, for adults I let them handle life on their own. My wife and I are very aware of what we say to our children so they grow up with healthy ideas on body image. Where I shape society, and the future, is with my kids and how I act in real life.


Again, thank you for the email and please know that I am very aware of the impact every single word I use can have. Sometimes, I go for the negative impact because that’s where I want the gut punch to hit. And because I like to face my own personal demons head on!

Thank you for reading!”

 

The reader’s response to my response was very nice and we ended it on a great note.

I think some authors would get upset about this type of email. If it was a different subject, I may have also. But like I said in my response, I totally understand the weight thing. I get it. Took me a long time to come to turns with my own body image issues.

Yet…

I don’t think authors should ever try to shape society with their writing. I just don’t. I think that compromises the work. Try too hard and it all sounds false.

But this is coming from a writer that currently specializes in pulp horror/scifi/adventure/thrillers. I’m here to entertain, not educate.

Ah, but if I offend, have I failed as an entertainer? That’s a question to ponder. If part of my audience doesn’t like something I’ve written because it hurts them on a personal level then am I doing my job?

Yes. Because you can’t please everyone all the time. It goes back to last week’s post. Read Rule 4 and 5. You’ll see what I’m getting at. As a writer, I have to know that some readers will not like my work, for whatever their reasons are. Dem’s da breaks.

One last thing I want to share is a quote from the reader’s response to my response. Here it goes: “I also thank you for changing how I will be reacting to fat remarks in books in the future.”

As readers, people have the power to change how they perceive novels and entertainment. Instead of getting all up in arms because their specific hangups/pet peeves/worries/phobias/fears/sacred cows have been mentioned/defamed/killed/cooked on the grill with a delicious vinegar based BBQ sauce, people should use these types of situations to start a dialogue and open discussions with others that don’t feel the same way.

That is how we change society, by taking our experiences and sharing them with others. If we are honest with ourselves then it is easier to be honest with others. And let’s face it folks, we could use a lot more honesty in this world, don’t ya think?

So sound off! Do you think authors have an obligation to reflect positive change in their novels? How about if the novel is more about the negatives of society and not the positives? Where does an author draw the line between appropriate and not appropriate?

If you have been reading my series of posts then you know I am not a fan of rules being imposed on writers. Or on anyone, for that matter. Not that I’m an anarchist, but, well…

Come on, folks! Tell me what gets to you. Tell me what you think writers are obligated to do. Or not.

Discuss!

Cheers!

 

Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the forthcoming YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, and Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).

Friday Night Drabble Party!

And here we are again, my friends. Another week coming to a close, another Drabble ready to Party. The circle of life, bitches. The circle of life…

IT’S FRIDAY!

Time to get our drabble on!

First, though, gotta plug the new stuff!

Anti1 Antibiotics.
They have failed.
All that’s left are the Strains- bacteria so strong they have brought the world to its knees.
But humanity has fought on, carving out pockets of civilization in a wasteland known as the Sicklands, creating the super high-tech Clean Nation cities.
And from the cities GenSOF has been born- Genetic Special Forces Operations. An elite military branch of the government that enlists men and women with specific genetic anomalies that allow them to be hosts to bacteria that even the Strains cannot defeat. Under the watchful eye of Control, GenSOF protects the Clean Nation cities from the ever encroaching Strains and the diseased inhabitants of the Sicklands.
But now Control has other plans for GenSOF, and possibly the Clean Nation cities themselves, and it is up to the operators of GenSOF Zebra Squad, and their cloned Canine Units known as bug hounds, to find out what those plans are.
Or die trying.

Click that pic and go get ya some AntiBio action! And!

DeadTeamAlpha-EcoverIn the post-apocalyptic, zombie infested wasteland, there is one beacon of safety in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains: The Stronghold.
For decades, the inhabitants have fortified and defended the Stronghold from zombie hordes, building their society and culture on military precision.
And chosen from the best of the best is Denver Team Alpha. DTA is the elite strike force used to rescue survivors and refugees that have made it to the hellish wasteland of Denver below. But because of the unbelievable risks, and high mortality rate, DTA has come to stand for something else: Dead Team Alpha.
Now DTA will be put to the test as something far worse than zombies comes at them out of the wasteland.

Click that pic and go get ya some Dead Team Alpha action! And!

Don’t feel like reading? Then have a listen to some audiobooks! Z-Burbia 2: Parkway To Hell just came out! Rock on!

Yep, I recycled some of the same announcements as last Friday. That’s how I roll, yo. Gotta keep up the Lazy Writer appearance. Don’t want anyone to think I work for a living.

Speaking of work, I’ll be incommunicado the next few days because I have a deadline to meet and my latest novel, Mega 2: Baja Blood, started slow. It’ll all come together, I’m sure, just going to be some long days and stressful nights. Huzzah!

Now, to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Foreign Object
By
Jake Bible

“He has some foreign object in his throat!” the doctor yelled. “Forceps! Now!”

“I’m sorry, doctor, but we have to call Security,” the nurse replied.

“What are you talking about?” the doctor said. “This man is choking!”

“Yes, but all foreigners, even objects, must be reported to Security for investigation and processing,” the nurse replied.

The doctor stared at her. “Are you joking?”

“No, doctor,” the nurse replied. “We have to alert Security.” Then she cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. “Unless you’re part of the Resistance. Are you, doctor?”

“Uh…no,” the doctor said. “I, uh, will call Security.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Damn foreign objects! They took our jobs!

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