Friday has risen and it is hungry for Drabbles!
Good thing I have one for it tonight. You’ll be able to read it below before it is devoured.
I also have many more drabbles for Friday in the form of One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short. This is currently free on Amazon! Go get yourself a copy. Have your friends, family, neighbors, enemies get a copy too! If we get it into the Top Ten of any bestseller list on Amazon then I will record it and put it in the audio feed. That means you can buy it and not even have to read it yourself! ALL FOR FREE! What a country!
So get to that.
And now for tonight’s Drabble…
The split up the backside of her jeans wasn’t the problem; being larger than most girls she’d split her seat plenty of times before.
The entire cafeteria laughing wasn’t the problem; she’d dealt with that many times.
The laughter by the football team, especially her secret crush, wasn’t the problem either; he was the star quarterback and she knew she never had a chance.
The building rage that boiled over and turned into a blinding, murderous wave of energy wasn’t the problem; that was pretty cool, actually.
No, the problem was: what would she do with all the bodies?
Disclaimer: At no point do I condone mass murder by telekinesis.
Okay, so maybe I haven’t had that many parts to my updates. Probably closer to 75614562354.1. But that’s just a guess.
So, how have you been? Good, good… Me? Been fine. Been busy. Busy, busy, busy. Busy.
Busy with what you ask? Oh, writing the comic book scripts for DEAD MECH. Writing episodes of Big Box Blood Bath for serial release soon. Finishing a novel under a pen name. And watching the progress of the pre-order of Natural Born Cyborgs.
Have you heard of it? No? Well, here it is!
Natural Born Cyborgs-
The techno-virus used by the Three hundreds of years ago has mutated and combined with BC (biochrome) to create a generation of natural born cyborgs- part biorganic metal, part human. Society decides these Splicers, as they are called, are too dangerous to let live and rounds them up for extermination. Those not found must hide their true natures and fight for their lives. And the lives of those yet born.
Set in the same universe as DEAD MECH, but hundreds of years after the events in the Apex Trilogy, Natural Born Cyborgs is the first in the Splicer Wars series of novels that introduce the world to the new MechPunk style of science fiction- raw, unrelenting, brutal, and shiny.
You like? I know ya do! I bet you wish you could read this right now! I know ya do! I KNOW EVERYTHING! Well, everything in my head. I know all of that. ALL OF THAT!
But, seriously, how about those Pacers, eh? What? Oh, right, Natural Born Cyborgs. While I hate to take you away from this post you should click here to see what’s going on with this crazy pre-orderpalooza. Right…HERE!
Cool, right? RIGHT?! Right…
I have had a few pre-orders, a flurry in the beginning, but it has slacked off. So this post is for all of you folks that haven’t pre-ordered. Go pre-order. Do it now. NOW! Thanks.
And for all of you that have already pre-ordered, here is a reminder: I don’t start writing the novel until I hit the minimum funding of $2000. We are 10% there. I know, I know, only 10%. But that’s to be expected. Hard to keep that momentum going day in and day out. That’s where I need your help, if you are so inclined. Spread the word. Tell your friends. Post on the Facebookerybookerbook. Tweet like your taint is on fire. Do all of that stuff.
The sooner we hit $2000 in funding (like how I said ‘we’ there?) the sooner I start writing this bad boy!
And here is the cool part: I may post rough draft samples along the way! Just some excerpts here and there to whet your whistle if your whistle needs whetting. Like this one!
“The fire ball erupted all bout them, engulfing exposed skin in a blanket of heat and pain. The oxygen was ripped from their lungs and they lay singed and wounded on the deck of the transport car like forgotten goldfish dropped from a toddler’s hands.”
Who is on the deck? Why is there a fireball? Who the hell lets toddlers handle goldfish? So many questions and the way to get the answers is to back Natural Born Cyborgs. So get to gettin’ to that. I promise you won’t be disappointed. I PROMISE!
There is a fine line for authors when it comes to promotion and marketing. And I wish I knew where that line is.
I am currently working out my Twitter strategy by using a program called TweetAdder. I know, I know, it is one of those programs. But it does help me a lot. I can create tweets that get sent on a regular basis and also get repeated. While for some, this may seem like that dreaded douchebaggery, for me it is essential. I have had a couple followers tell me they know I’m repeating some tweets, but the cool thing is that even a tweet I have sent out ten times still gets new responses from folks that didn’t see it before.
This is good.
Part of what Twitter is about is to strike up a conversation. Sure, I use it to promote my work, but only a small percentage of my tweets are promotion. What it’s really good for, at least for me, is connecting with fans, friends, and colleagues. But, I also have a day job and must be writing during down time, so I can’t be tweeting all day. Using something like TweetAdder lets me send out tweets and then respond and reply to anyone that replies to me. I start a conversation, and with a little monitoring in my “mentions” feed I can see if people are conversing back. It is great.
But, is it really helpful? Am I losing an audience when they see the same tweet today that they just saw two weeks ago? Am I gaining anything by automating my Twitter persona? I don’t know.
The other thing TweetAdder allows me to do is look at other authors’ follower lists and poach them. Well, not really. Ok, sort of. I am able to import those lists and start going through them and following their followers by checking out profiles and tweets. That has been a huge help! I am getting messages now from fans of mine that I started following that didn’t know I was on Twitter! Because I have gone through other authors’ lists I have been able to connect with fans that wouldn’t have discovered me on Twitter on their own.
TweetAdder also lets me go over my list of those I follow and see who I haven’t had conversations with ever/sometimes/often, as well as those I follow that aren’t active on Twitter or may be bots. (No offense to any bots reading this. I know you’re working hard to get me hard and sell me SEO services.) I haven’t really used this feature at all. I do plan on it and will be culling my list that I follow soon. My timeline is getting messy.
So why call this post Delicate Douchebaggery? Because it is the Internet and everyone has their set of rules and procedures and laws and commandments and WAYS THINGS MUST BE DONE BECAUSE THE INTERNET IS ONLY FREE IF YOU ACT EXACTLY AS A TOTAL STRANGER WANTS YOU TO.
While some who read this won’t give a rat’s ass made out of styrofoam, there are others that will be OFFENDED GREATLY. Which is the exact reason I am talking about this. I want it out in the open that this is how I play the Twitter game (no need to talk about the Facebook game because there isn’t one. Facebook is just necessary suckage). I use certain tools to help me maximize my Twitter use. And so far the tools work for me. They may not work for you. They may not work for Joe Hill or John Scalzi or CC Chapman or Neil Gaiman. But they work for me. And that’s what matters.
And that’s really all I have to say. So if you see a tweet that you’ve seen before then feel free to call me out on it on Twitter. I don’t mind at all. It gives me a chance to strike a conversation with you. Who knows, maybe we’ll discover we have some things in common. Or that I really am a douchebag. Or both. We’ll see.
Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids. He is the author the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the YA horror novels Little Dead Man (November 2012) and the forthcoming Intentional Haunting (2013). Check out Friday Night Drabble Party every week! Free drabbles for all! His Twitter handle is @jakebible.