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Friday Night Drabble Party!

Welcome back to the Party, y’all!

If you have a look around you’ll see I did some rearranging of the website. Gotta get all professional looking, ya know what I mean?

Speaking of professional, I will be at the Asheville Comic Expo tomorrow (Saturday 21st) from 11am to 7pm. I’ll be selling and signing books, handing out gruesome goodies, and just chatting it up with fans and readers and other professional artistic type peoples. You should come by. Seriously. Do it. Come by. DO IT!

But what you’re really here for is tonight’s Drabble, right? RIGHT?

Then let’s get to it!

Enjoy!

***

Uncooperative Passengers

By

Jake Bible

“Fifteen seconds until reentry,” Computer said. “Please prepare all passengers for landing.”

Flames enveloped the hull as the vessel hit the upper atmosphere. Computer made all the calculations required to shield the occupants.

“Reentry complete,” Computer said. “Adjusting course for Home Base. Please remain harnessed until further instructed.”

Computer banked the vessel and came in at the correct speed  and trajectory to land safely, setting the vessel down with only a minimum of disturbance.

“The Company thanks you for your service. You may now disembark.”

Computer waited.

“You may now disembark.”

The skeletons strapped into the harnesses refused to answer.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Purchase of ticket does not constitute Company’s agreement to keep you alive. Please read all Terms and fill out the mandatory Will before boarding.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

You gotta, you gotta, you gotta get up on the git down! It’s the Friday Night Drabble Party!

Are you ready for some Drabble? I SAID, ARE YOU READY FOR SOME DRABBLE?

I know you are!

So let’s get to it!

Enjoy!

***

Stuck
By
Jake Bible

Musty, slimy algae filled his nostrils and Carlos struggled not to snort the goo and choke to death. He was upside down; still seatbelted into the driver seat. He fumbled at the latch, but his hands wouldn’t obey. He tried to kick himself free, but his legs wouldn’t obey.

Nothing below his neck would obey.

“HELP!” he screamed as he watched the swamp water start to rise. The car was sinking and he couldn’t do a thing about it. He was completely, 100% stuck.

His last thought was what would people think when they found the body in the trunk.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Swamps, man. Swamps.

Friday Night Drabble Party and The Funky Werepig

Hello!

It’s time for another Friday Night Drabble Party! The Party where you get free -YES, FREE!- 100 word fiction!

And that’s not all there is tonight! In about two hours (9pm eastern time) I’ll be on The Funky Werepig! Mr. Gregory Hall will interview the shit out of me! Not literally. Gross. So tune in at 9pm for The Funky Werepig and all the shenanigans that will ensue! Click here for info and links! CLICK HERE! Then come on back and read ya some drabbly goodness!

Now, on to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Blue Lightning
By
Jake Bible

“More!” the doctor screamed. “I need more power!”

“I’ve given it all there is, Master!” Iggy yelled from his perch amid a thousand switches and transformers, all arcing blue lightning from coil to coil. “We’re at full power!”

“Damn him!” the doctor swore. “He’s sucking it up like Kool-Aid! The abomination won’t die!”

“Don’t you want him to live, Master?” Iggy asked, licking his fingers after a nasty shock.

“No!” the doctor replied. “Then he’ll be free to think on his own!”

“And we can’t have that,” I grinned as I finally broke loose. “No, can’t have that at all.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: It’s alive!

It’s Okay To Have Fun Just Because!!!

Howdy!

I am essentially hedonistic in nature. I’ll admit that. Basically, if it isn’t fun I’m not going to do it (excluding the life necessities that keep my family alive and stuff like that.)

But, due to the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON OF GIANT BLOCKBUSTER FILMS, there are a lot of people on the MIGHTY INTERNET that seem intent on not only having zero fun, but of mocking and shaming folks because they did have fun. It’s getting bad, people. B-A-D spells moon bad. So for today’s post I figured I’d talk about having fun for fun’s sake!

I’m also going to say something that could hurt me in the online community: I’m not a geek. Now, I am using the stereotyped geek definition here, not the carnival freak that bites the heads off chickens. I am one of those (just kidding…?). I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a geek, not at all! Let your geek flag fly! I wouldn’t have readers or listeners without the wonderful people that have embraced my fiction. Y’all rock!

I’m also not denying I don’t have one foot firmly planted in the geek world. I’d be lying if I said that. I’d also be lying if I didn’t admit to my years of D&D and MERP late nights. Plus, my comic book collection. And, my… Hmmmm, maybe I doth protest too much? I guess I’m really saying if I found myself in a geek throwdown I’d be handed my butt in two seconds. I know a lot, but I’m just not quite obsessive enough (Obsessive? Is that the right word?) to be considered a full blown geek. What I can say with certainty is that I am not anywhere close to a specific type of geek. You know the type of geek I’m talking about: the one that has difficulty actually enjoying anything they watch/read/listen to without tearing it apart.

I just don’t get that mindset. I can’t go there.

To explain why I don’t get it, let me talk about me some more because you all want to hear about me. I know I do.

I love scifi. Always have. I love all the genres, really. From comedy (Eureka style) to full on gut gripping terror (Event Horizon), I dig it all. Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t tell the difference between bad scifi and good scifi. Bad scifi is half of what Hollywood puts out, while good scifi is Joss Whedon, Battlestar Galactica, Orphan Black (and many others). But, I appreciate fun scifi most of all. If I am having a good time watching/reading/listening to something then that is all that matters. I do not care that the core processor being used would never be able to fire up the sub-space uberdrive’s dimensional potential because it can only process 100 TBs per millisecond. That makes no difference to me as long as the story is fun. Why doesn’t it make a difference? Because it’s science fiction! None of it is real! None of it! It’s a made-up story in a world that doesn’t exist. Even the “realistic” science-based scifi is still fiction. And all of that goes for  horror, fantasy, comic books and their adaptations on the big and small screen as well. It isn’t real and there are no rules when something isn’t real.

Of course, if something sucks (like really, really, really sucks) then it isn’t going to be fun.

Except… The cheese!

Now, I am using the cultural entertainment definition of cheese, not the dairy-based foodstuffs definition (but I do love that foodstuffs!). I am a HUGE fan of cheese! I love the “so bad, it’s good” scifi out there. I mean the SyFy channel cranks that out by the buttload and I just can’t keep up. I don’t even try anymore. One of my favorite memories of my childhood was the first time I ever saw Plan 9 From Outer Space on late night cable. Oh, the joy! It was so incredibly bad that even as a small child I could see the flaws. But, man, was it fun to watch! The horrible acting, the non-existent sets beyond cardboard and curtains, the flying saucers with the strings showing! Perfection! My son and I talk about this movie constantly with great fondness. It is a masterpiece.

Take everything I have said above and apply it to all genres and you know how I roll. I like to have fun and I refuse to pick something apart just to pick it apart. Why even watch/read/listen to anything if you aren’t even going to try to enjoy it?

This is why I doubt you will ever see me review anything or really even comment about it. I just can’t get to that place. I can have a good hearty discussion like the next person and I do have strong opinions about certain pieces of work (I can never get the two and a half hours back that I wasted watching Titanic in the theater. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it). But, who the heck am I to say what is good and what isn’t? I’m a writer and I know how those reviews feel.

So, if you take anything from this post, let it be that it is okay to have fun! It is okay to enjoy yourself even if the movie/book/TV show/podcast isn’t perfect or as good as you thought it should be OR as good as someone else thought it should be! You don’t have to justify your enjoyment, you don’t have to worry that you will be thought less of, you don’t have to worry at all! Don’t be afraid to taste the cheese! Don’t be afraid to enjoy something without a care in the world what other people think!

Sometimes, almost ALL the time, it’s just better to have FUN for FUN’S sake!

And with that I leave you this!

Cheers!

Disclaimer: This is a generalization! I am not saying all geeks argue the details, thus ruining the entertainment value of a product. I’m just saying, well, you know what I’m saying and you know the type I’m talking about. If you don’t know what I’m saying and want to argue about this then please re-read my post. Thanks!

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Friday! Night! Drabble! Party!

Free 100 word fiction for your eyeholes to see and your brainpan to loooooove! LOVE THEM!

Hey! Did you know I have more drabble goodness published? If you love the Party then you’ll love these!

C-Notes: A Collection of 100 Drabbles

One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short

Have a look, have a read, enjoy!

***

Never Admit To A Job
By
Jake Bible

The cigarette burned until it was nothing but ash. Carlotta didn’t care, she just lit another and placed it between Dirk’s lifeless fingers.

“So, like I was saying,” Carlotta continued, far from finished with her post-assassination narrative. “It wasn’t anything personal. Just business.” The door opened and Carlotta turned to face her boss and his assistant. “He’s all yours. Don’t kill him until I’m gone.”

And she left, leaving the assistant puzzled. “Don’t kill him? The guy’s missing half his face.”

“She never admits to a job,” the boss replied. “Ever.”

The assistant shrugged and started to pour the gasoline.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: This drabble is not legal advice. Please seek a lawyer’s consultation for your own workplace deniability.

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