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Black Friday Night Drabble Party!

Hey Y’all!

So, instead of a drabble, I’m going to talk about Indies First Small Business Saturday. I know, I know, it’s not as exciting as ripping someone’s throat out over a 40″ HDTV, but bear with me here.

Indies First is an idea created by author Sherman Alexie as a way for authors to give back to their local, independent bookstores. Basically, all across the country (and world) authors are volunteering their time to help sell some books! I will be a part of this at my local bookstore, Malaprop’s. Come find me from 11-1 on Saturday the 29th. I’ll be available to help you find that perfect gift for the book lover, or book liker, in your family or circle of friends.

Want to know more about the event? Here is a statement put out by Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. Have a read and I hope you head to your local indie bookstore! Maybe you’ll run into me!

Cheers!

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Hello!!!

I would like to warmly welcome you back to another Party! Help yourself to some Drabbles and don’t be self-conscious if you read some of the backlog. Binging Drabbles is good for one’s health! SCIENCE!

Just a little heads up that Z-Burbia 4: Cannibal Road is now in audiobook form! Click away and get your copy at Audible.com. As soon as it’s up on Amazon and iTunes, I will let ya’ll know.

Now to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***
The Foul Things
By
Jake Bible

Carlos hated pickles. Dill, sweet- he couldn’t stand the foul things.

So, to be trapped in a convenience store with pickle juice dripping off the shelf onto his head, while being shot at, was the ultimate insult.

“Come on, Carlos! We don’t have all day! Give us the food and we’ll just go our separate ways!”

Carlos hated that voice as much as he hated pickles.

“Bite me, Lyle!” Carlos yelled. He refused to tell the man that there was no food left, just disgusting pickles. The principle of post-apocalyptic scavenging had to be upheld. “Go raid somewhere else!”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: You’re a disclaimer!

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Aaaaaaannnnnnnd IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-eeeeee-IIIIIIIIIII-eeeee-IIIIIIIIIIII will always love Draaaaaaaaabbbbbbblllle! Will always love Draaaaaaabbbbbblllle! Will always love-. No, wait, put the shtogun down! NO! PLEA-!

*annnnd scene*

Thank you, thank you. Yes, that was my musical/dramatic interpretation of Quentin Tarantino’s The Drabbleguard.

Happy Friday, Mother F$*&ers!

Soooo, how’s it going? Ready for some free micro-fiction? Well, then let’s get to it!

Enjoy!

***

Major Break

By

Jake Bible

The microphone was kicked from the stage as the pop star moved forward, her face passive, serene.

The crowd screamed, their eyes wide with horror and disbelief as their idol turned on them, came at them.

Another shot rang out and another. The blood spray covered the first two rows of spectators as security guards collapsed, and the screams intensified, doubled, tripled. More shots. Again and again. More blood.

The pop star jumped off the stage and rolled, taking aim at the crowd once again. She emptied the magazine, so glad to finally give in to the madness. So glad.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Gargle. Always gargle.

 

Friday Night Drabble Party!

YO! It’s Friday Night! There be a Drabble in this Party!

Not only is there a drabble, but there’s a link to the newly released Mega 3: When Giants Collide! Let’s see that beautiful bean footage!

Mega-3-ebook-coverYeah, baby! Ain’t that pretty! Feel free to clickety clik that pic and go get ya some Team Grendel! Hooyah!

Now, on to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Pitiful Creature

By

Jake Bible

“The interesting thing is how the creature reacts to various stimuli,” Dr. Roberts said. “Observe.”

The doctor threw a lit bag of feces into the cage.

“Dude!” the creature shouted. “What the hell, man? Is that poo? Why the hell are you throwing flaming poo at me?”

“It has become irritated,” Dr. Roberts observed. “It uses it’s primitive language to express that irritation.”

“Irritation? Dude, I’m pissed! That’s gross!” the creature exclaimed.

“Now, let’s see how it reacts when we expose it to raw uranium,” Dr. Roberts said.

“What? DUDE! NO URANIUM!”

“Pitiful,” one of the observers said. “So pitiful.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: NO URANIUM!

 

Halloween Night Drabble Party!

O! M! G! It’s Halloween AND the Friday Night Drabble Party!

Got to calm down, got to calm down, got to- HALLOWEEN! I love it, I love it, I love it!

Know what else I love? Dead Mech on sale for $.99! (Segue for the mofo win, yo!) If you haven’t read my zombies/mechs/zombies in mechs mash-up then go spend a dollar and get you some seriously fun post-apocalyptic goodness! Clicky linky here!

Oooh, wait, there’s more! And this novel is actually Halloween themed! Be sure and check out Intentional Haunting, my latest release. It’s Teen horror, so kinda a mix of John Green and Stephen King in that classic Jake Bible style y’all love so much! Clicky another linky here!

Now, how’s about we get on with the Halloween drabble?

Enjoy!

***

The Darkness Thirsts

By

Jake Bible

“I SUMMON THEE, SATAN! SHOW ME YOUR DARK MAJESTY! GRACE US WITH YOUR EVIL PRESENCE!”

“Who dares summon me?” the Devil asked as he appeared in a puff of smoke in the center of the abandoned church.

“It is I, Master!” the man in the robes replied. “Your humble servant and-.”

“Sweet. Get me a latte from Starbucks, servant. Whole milk, two shots of vanilla. No cinnamon or nutmeg. NO CINNAMON OR NUTMEG!”

“Uh…uh…yes, Master.”

“God, I love Halloween,” the Devil sighed as the robed man hurried from the church and out to his Prius. “Free lattes rock.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: If the Devil asks you to get him a latte, don’t get the two shots of vanilla. The guy is diabetic and in denial. Don’t be an enabler.

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