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Friday Night Drabble Party!

Oh, yeah, it’s Party time!

But, I don’t have much time because I gots to be writing/editing my middle grade scifi/horror series! Yes, folks, you heard that right, I’m writing for the kiddies!

I WILL WARP THE MINDS OF EVERY GENERATION!

I think your kids will dig the new series. It’s Goosebumps meets the Scooby Gang set in deep space! Huzzah!

Now, on to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Beware The Moors!

By

Jake Bible

 

“BEWARE THE MOORS!” the old man cried.

“Does he mean the swamps?” I asked my companion.

“The swamps?” my companion replied.

“Well, yes, swamps. Are not moors a type of swamp?”

“BEWARE THE MOORS!” the old man cried again before pissing himself.

“Well, that’s unfortunate,” my companion said. “Shall we go?”

“But what about the moors? Are they swamps or not?”

“They can be made of wetlands, but are primarily grasslands like highland savannas.”

“BEWARE THE MOORS!”

The ghostly apparitions rode towards us with their scimitars swinging in the foggy night.

“Oh, those Moors.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: BEWARE THE MOORS!

 

Friday Night Drabble Party!

FREE DRABBLES FOR ALL!

That’s my philosophy. I know I missed last week, but that’s because I actually went on vacation over Labor Day weekend. Crazy, right? I got to check out Georgetown, SC. Talk about a hidden bit of American history. I had no clue how prominent that place was during the 19th and early 20th centuries.

Know what else is prominent? CANNIBALS! Okay, okay, it’s a shitty segue, but what are ya gonna do?

Z-Burbia 4: Cannibal Road is available as an ebook (with print coming soon)! Z4 keeps the story of the Stanfords, and all of those from Whispering Pines, rolling on down the road. If you liked the last three Z-Burbia’s then you will love this one! And check out the cover! That’s a sweet cover!

Zburbia4Alright, alright, I’ll get to the drabble! Sheesh!

But first here’s a link to Mega 2: Baja Blood in audiobook form! ZING!

Now, on to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Everything In Its Place

By

Jake Bible

 

There are fewer things in life more frustrating than not having the right size container when you need it. You spend a lifetime collecting jugs and boxes, trunks and barrels, jars and crates.

Then you look and it’s not there. It should be, a coffin is hard to misplace. It’s not like it’s an old mint tin or empty vial. It’s a bloody freakin’ coffin!

So, you dig. You know where an extra is. It may have had contents in it at one time, but surely Nature has claimed them by now. Two more shovelfuls and you’ll know for sure.

***

Cheers!

 

Disclaimer: You can never have enough extra containers, people.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Friday Night Drabble Party is in the house! Or apartment! Or trailer! Or yurt!

Have ya missed it? I know ya have!

Now, I know you don’t want to hear me prattle on, so I’ll just get right into the free micro-fiction.

But…let me ask a favor. If you dig the Party, and you like micro-fiction that is FREE then please share the link to this post. Tweet it, Facebook it, whatever- share it. If I’m going to give these words away for free then I want as many people as possible to share in the madness that is Jake Bible Fiction.

That’s all.

Enjoy!

***

Passing The Time
By
Jake Bible

 

“Carabiner,” Bolton said. “Carabiner, carabiner, carabiner.”

“What are you doing?” Mintly asked.

“Just saying the word ‘carabiner’ over and over,” Bolton replied.

“I can hear that. Why?”

“Because the word is different.You know how when you say a word over and over it loses its meaning?”

“Yeah.”

“Carabiner doesn’t. Try it. I can say the word a hundred times and it still makes sense.”

Mintly stared at Bolton for a while then looked down at the massive pool of sharks below their cage.

“I can’t deal with you right now,” Mintly said. “You’re an idiot.”

Bolton shrugged. “Carabiner, carabiner, carabiner…”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Everything changes, but it always stays the same.

Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Twenty-Eight: The Data Is A Lie!

Captains ChairBlog

Ahoy, Mateys!

I know, I know, the Views are supposed to be on hiatus, but I just couldn’t let this one go. Read on, fearless warriors!

If you are a writer then you probably heard about Amazon sending out an email over the weekend. Yeah, it was a bit surreal, to say the least. A lot of propaganda and misdirection and all that other giant corporation stuff.

Chuck Wendig and Matt Wallace did a great job dissecting the email in their posts. You should go have a read. It was also covered by Time, Huffington Post, Wall Street Journal, and fifty trillion other online word pukers. (I include myself in the “word puker” category, so nobody get offended, alright? We’ve all had too much prose and ended up getting sick all over our stack of unread New Yorkers. No shame there.)

There is a lot of back and forth spittle and hissing between the Team Amazon authors and the Team Hachette authors. There is also a lot of stepping in the middle with T hands and a referee’s whistle telling everyone to chill and realize this has nothing to do with authors, but everything to do with mega corporations and profit.

I agree with a little on one side, a little on the other, and a whole lot of the middle.

But there is one thing I have yet to see anyone touch on that is really the absolute crux of this matter: Amazon’s ebook sales data.

Now, before you start pointing at the links to those blogposts, hear me out. I concede that several authors and reporters have mentioned that Amazon can easily be cherry picking their data and only showing what they want us all to see. I agree with that. Example (directly from Amazon’s email):

Moreover, e-books are highly price elastic. This means that when the price goes down, customers buy much more. We’ve quantified the price elasticity of e-books from repeated measurements across many titles. For every copy an e-book would sell at $14.99, it would sell 1.74 copies if priced at $9.99. So, for example, if customers would buy 100,000 copies of a particular e-book at $14.99, then customers would buy 174,000 copies of that same e-book at $9.99. Total revenue at $14.99 would be $1,499,000. Total revenue at $9.99 is $1,738,000. The important thing to note here is that the lower price is good for all parties involved: the customer is paying 33% less and the author is getting a royalty check 16% larger and being read by an audience that’s 74% larger. The pie is simply bigger.

Good numbers, right? Maybe. Plenty of people have wondered how many ebooks sell at $10.99 or $11.99, but Amazon doesn’t release that info. Authors want the full numbers to analyze and that ain’t happening.

The problem is no one is realizing that the data they want means absolutely zero. You see, folks, the data Amazon releases to the public is rigged from the beginning. They could print their entire database and it makes no difference.

Why? Simple: Amazon controls what sells on Amazon.

Chew on that for a second.

Sure, people have free will and can buy whatever they want, but it has been proven time and time again that when Amazon markets something specifically that something sells like crazy. That means, if Amazon wants $9.99 ebooks to be the bestsellers then they can tweak their marketing, promotions, and search algorithms to make damn sure $9.99 ebooks sell more than other price points.

How about a metaphor/analogy!

A farmer sells apples. He has tons and tons of different apples. The guy grows it all, yo, from Red Delicious to Arkansas Black. This farmer is your go-to apple guy, right? So you head to his farm and he has barrels and barrels of all the different apples for sale out front for $9.99 a pound. Seems a little spendy, but you’re all “Gotta have my apples!” and you buy a couple pounds of this and a couple pounds of that then head on home for the apple enjoyment portion of life.

Now, are you the farmer’s only customer? Heck to the no! Lots of people dig this farmer’s apples so they go to his farm and see the barrels and barrels of $9.99 apples. Some people see that there are other barrels of apples tucked away in the barn behind the farmer, but only a couple of folks go check those out. Why bother hunting for other apples when you can get the yummy ones in front of you for $9.99? So, folks be buying some $9.99 apples and when the local news station comes by to do a happy, feel-good piece, they ask the farmer which apples sell the best.

“Oh, lots sell, but folks like the ones right here for $9.99 the most,” the farmer grins. “Who doesn’t like $9.99 apples?”

See where I’m going with this? There were other apples tucked away for different prices. I’m not saying those apples were better quality or worse quality, or even different apples, but they were shoved out of sight and out of mind by the farmer so all his customers saw were the $9.99 a pound barrels.

That’s what Amazon can do; they can make sure you, and everyone else, buy ebooks at the price point they want. And that is what makes their data worthless when proving anything regarding readers’ buying habits. You want to know what price readers want? Then get sales data from ALL the ebook retailers and compile that. Then you’ll have some true data and something to talk about.

Until then, all anyone is doing is pointing at the news clip of that farmer saying “Folks like the ones right here for $9.99 the most” and calling it cherry picking when the truth is there isn’t even a cherry in the bunch.

I’ll let y’all ponder that for a while. Good luck.

Cheers!

 

Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Mega,AntiBio, and the YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, as well as the forthcoming (October) Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).

 

Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Hiatus!

Captains ChairBlog

 

Ahoy, Mateys!

Yep, you read that title correctly. The blog will be on hiatus for a few weeks. Deadlines, am I right?

That and I’ll be taking the very first vacation my family has ever taken together. I shit you not. Sure, we’ve gone on “vacation”, but it has always been with extended family, to see extended family, to see friends, or for some specific reason or other.

This will be the first vacation where I’m with the wife and kids only. No one else. First time.

And we get to go see Vermont and Maine, which will be nice! Never been north of Pittsburgh, personally. On the East coast, at least. I grew up in Oregon, so I’ve been from BC to San Diego on the West coast. This should be fun!

But, taking this vacation means I’ll be behind with writing, so no time to bloggy blog until I get caught up. Looking like August or September. I’ll keep y’all posted!

Before I go let me thank each and every one of you for reading this blog, reading my books, and for just being awesome!

Rock on, rocking rockers! See ya in a few weeks!

 

Cheers!

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