Spring has sprung on this glorious Friday!
Let the Party begin!
But, before you do, maybe you should check out something from a good friend of mine. You like horror? You like scary evil that comes bubbling up out of the deep? Yes, you do!
Paul E. Cooley’s The Black is on sale for $.99! You really should check it out!
“Lock the door!” Edward yelled as he shoved Tara into the hotel room and whirled around to see Carlos just standing there. “Dammit, lock the door!”
“It won’t matter,” Carlos muttered. “They’ll get in anyway. They always do.”
“Lock the door, bolt the door, and we’ll shove the bed up against it!” Edward shouted as he slapped Carlos across the face. “We can still live!”
“Doesn’t matter,” Carlos said. “They’re all gone. Everyone. One mistake. That’s all it took.”
“That’s all it ever takes,” Tara said as she put the gun to her head. “One mistake.”
The gunshot was deafening.
Disclaimer: True dat.
It’s 2015, y’all, and Views From The Captain’s Chair is back!
I have sort of made a resolution, although I hate to call it that since we all know how well resolutions fare (hint: they don’t). What’s my resolution? To keep up with writing a weekly blog and give a little insight into how I got where I am as a full-time writer and how I get through the process of day to day writing without losing my shit. It isn’t always easy.
Now, what I won’t be doing in this blog is reacting. If there is a publishing issue out there, and we all know there always is, I’m going to ignore it and not weigh in on the subject. Why? Well, for one thing, there are way more qualified writers and publishing professionals out there that can give you insight into the many facets of [insert publishing kerfuffle du jour]. But, the main reason is because none of that crap is my problem, it’s all just a distraction from what I should be doing, which is writing.
We live in such a divisive, and punitive, world that I don’t feel the need to add to it all. I’m just gonna be Jake and let y’all know about what I’m doing, why I’m doing it, and why you shouldn’t give two craps about me because your life is your life and your path is your path.
See that? I just told you my blog posts really aren’t worth your time. Read them if you want some insight into my process, but always remember, if you are a writer reading this, that your process is your process. There is no one single path. There aren’t even just two paths. There are infinite paths. INFINITE! Find yours, fight to stay on it, and read my shit if you want some entertainment or company along the way.
With all that said, I’m going to dive into what my 2015 is going to look like and why/how I got here (hint: not on a Segway). Ready? Away we go!
First, I have eight novels to write for Severed Press. Last year I was contracted to write a novel a month, with a couple months off in between. This was good because it gave me focus, gave me advances (income for the win!), and kept me disciplined. But, what I learned is my natural compulsion for punctuality was ripping my soul apart.
Okay, that’s a bit hyperbolic, but it’s close. I’m a little on the spectrum when it comes to timing. I get to movies a half hour before they are supposed to start; I’m never late turning in library books; and I have to force myself to be fashionably late to parties. I have punctuality issues, I know this.
When I found myself behind with novel deadlines in 2014 I came close to freaking out. I learned something in 2014 that I am now applying to 2015. What did I learn? I have focus and discipline, I don’t need the killer deadlines. I have never worked so hard at a job in my life, and if I fail then my family goes broke, so that is drive enough. The deadlines were more a distraction than anything.
So, in 2015 I will not have any deadlines except for December 31st. I have to have eight novels turned in by then. I can do that without going cuckoo for cocoa puffs.
What are these novels, you ask? Well, let me tell you! In list form!
In Perpetuity- A military space thriller based on a short story I wrote a long time ago. There will be lots of blasters and star fighters and pew pew pews and aliens and space battles galore and all that cool shit. Yes!
AntiBio 2- I’ll be wrapping this series up with this sequel. It hasn’t done as well as we’d liked. Oh, well.
Z-Burbia 6: Rocky Mountain Die- Yeah, baby, that’s the title! This novel will wrap up the Stanford part of the Z-Burbia saga. This doesn’t mean I’m done with the series, but I may be taking it in a different direction. Maybe.
Kaiju Inferno- The third book in my Kaiju Winter series. Shit gonna get crazy!
Mega 4- Team Grendel will be back and the adventures will be AWESOME!
Dead Team Alpha 2- Gonna wrap this series up as well. Like AntiBio, it never took off. No worries.
Kaiju Fall- The finale to the Kaiju Winter series.
Eighth Book To Be Named- Could be another Mega or more military space goodness. We’ll see. Huzzah for flexibility!
I’m also working with a good friend of mine from back in the high school days, Joel Barber, on a comic book series. It’s post-apocalyptic, but not dystopian. First script is done and we’re going to be pitching it to a specific comic book publisher. We may have a good shot at getting this. Fingers crossed.
I may get back into narration and tackle my Kaiju series as well as DTA. I should (hahahahaha!) have the time to do some recording/producing. That’d be cool. When will that happen? As soon as I get a new Mac. I can’t trust my current Macbook to handle the stress and there’s no way I’m recording for six hours just to have it all get dumped because my ancient Mac shits the bed. Not happening.
Possibly working on the script for MALK: The Movie. This is a continuation of the short film I made with Team Long Shot for the 48 Hour Film Project. Hoping to get enough interest and funding to make a feature film. More fingers crossed!
I also have two new novel series I want to get working on. One could be an extension of the Z-Burbia universe and the other is brand new, but totally awesome. What are they? Ha! Wouldn’t you like to know! I’m a brutal tease! Muwahahahahaha!
And, as always, I’m sure I’ll get myself overbooked on other stuffs. It’s inevitable.
In addition to all this work, I may take a very long vacation with the Fam over the summer. A cross country road trip out West. The plus of a long trip like that is I can write in the car while we drive. The minus of a long trip like that is I can write in the car while we drive. Oh, the dichotomy of life!
Oh, wait, there’s more! In addition to the Severed Press novels coming out, I also have two series from Permuted Press being released (I think).
The first is ScareScapes, which is a middle grade horror/scifi adventure series. Think Goosebumps in deep space meets the Scooby-Gang. I know there are plenty of kids ages 8-12 that want some good horror/scifi fun, and plenty of parents that are trying to find that fun for them, so this series is made just for them. It’s gonna be great! Be on the lookout for these this summer, I believe.
The second is my Reign of Four series, which I have loosely based on the reigns of Edward I, Edward II, Edward III, and the Black Prince of England. This series is full on medieval space fiction. Everything is stripped down tech wise and it centers more on the drama of life than on the action of space. Don’t worry, though, there will be blood! And guts! And sex! It’s Game of Thrones in space, yo! Hopefully these will start coming out before the holiday season. Hopefully.
Is that all? Dear God, I hope so. I think that’s enough for one year.
I hope (I’ve got a lot of hope) this info gives y’all a little insight into my writing career. It’s not all sitting on the couch watching American Horror Story while eating Doritos. Sure, that’s a big part of my process, but not all of it.
Happy 2015, y’all!
Welcome back! Come in, come in. Make yourselves comfortable while I inflict upon you another Halloween themed Drabble!
But, before I do, I want to weigh in on the Permuted Press hijinks going on: don’t believe the rumors and BS being spread. Just don’t. I’ll have a full blog post addressing this issue on Monday, so stay tuned.
Now, on to tonight’s drabble!
Then Please Stay
“The pumpkins screamed, man!” Horace shouted as he backed away from the front porch. “The damn things screamed when I tried to pick them up!”
“Dude, that’s the sound effects from across the street,” Bart frowned.
“You kids! Get away from my pumpkins!” the old woman screeched as she pushed open the screen door. “Go!”
“Help us!” three of the carved pumpkins screamed. “Help us!”
“Unless you want to join them,” the old woman sneered at the teenagers. “Then please stay.”
“Dude!” Bart said as he grabbed Horace’s arm. “We’re gone!”
“Told ya!” Horace cried as they turned and ran.
Disclaimer: Quit while you’re ahead, kids. Sometimes being too old to trick or treat is a good thing.
October is here!
That means it’s Halloween themed drabbles for the rest of the month! Some may be scary, some may be funny, some may be just, well…weird. Yay for Halloween!
And speaking of Halloween, I have a reading/signing at Malaprop’s Bookstore the night before Halloween! Here’s the flyer!
If you are in town that night then you should swing on by so you can have a chance to win FREE JAKE BIBLE NOVELS FOR LIFE! Just click on the poster and RSVP at the event page on Facebook. RSVPing helps me and helps Malaprop’s know how many people will be there.
Now, on to the drabble!
The room was filled with wood shavings as Biggs frantically carved stake after stake. There was no time to slow down, his only chance at survival was to be prepared for the worst.
A knock at the door puzzled him; they had never been so forward before. He stood, reached out, turned the knob, and yanked the door open while he held a stake above his head, ready.
“Trick or- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!”
“DIE, EVIL!” Biggs bellowed as the children ran screaming. “What the…?”
He looked at his phone and saw 31 on the screen.
“Well, this makes things tricky,” he sighed.
Disclaimer: You’ll poke your eye out!
Sorry, but no drabble tonight.
I know, I know, I’m sorry. It’s been a hectic week and I’m getting ready for the Asheville Comic Expo tomorrow. If you are in the Asheville area and want to buy some signed copies of my novels then you should swing on by! I’ll also be on an author’s panel from 3pm-3:45pm.
Also, if you are in the area on October 30th then plan on coming by Malaprop’s Bookstore and Cafe for my reading/signing of my YA zombie novel, Little Dead Man! There will be candy and contests! You’ll even have a chance to win free Jake Bible novels for the rest of your life! THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Feel free to join the event on Facebook!
So, please have an excellent Friday night and tune in next week for an actual drabble. I promise!