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It’s Okay To Have Fun Just Because!!!

Howdy!

I am essentially hedonistic in nature. I’ll admit that. Basically, if it isn’t fun I’m not going to do it (excluding the life necessities that keep my family alive and stuff like that.)

But, due to the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON OF GIANT BLOCKBUSTER FILMS, there are a lot of people on the MIGHTY INTERNET that seem intent on not only having zero fun, but of mocking and shaming folks because they did have fun. It’s getting bad, people. B-A-D spells moon bad. So for today’s post I figured I’d talk about having fun for fun’s sake!

I’m also going to say something that could hurt me in the online community: I’m not a geek. Now, I am using the stereotyped geek definition here, not the carnival freak that bites the heads off chickens. I am one of those (just kidding…?). I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a geek, not at all! Let your geek flag fly! I wouldn’t have readers or listeners without the wonderful people that have embraced my fiction. Y’all rock!

I’m also not denying I don’t have one foot firmly planted in the geek world. I’d be lying if I said that. I’d also be lying if I didn’t admit to my years of D&D and MERP late nights. Plus, my comic book collection. And, my… Hmmmm, maybe I doth protest too much? I guess I’m really saying if I found myself in a geek throwdown I’d be handed my butt in two seconds. I know a lot, but I’m just not quite obsessive enough (Obsessive? Is that the right word?) to be considered a full blown geek. What I can say with certainty is that I am not anywhere close to a specific type of geek. You know the type of geek I’m talking about: the one that has difficulty actually enjoying anything they watch/read/listen to without tearing it apart.

I just don’t get that mindset. I can’t go there.

To explain why I don’t get it, let me talk about me some more because you all want to hear about me. I know I do.

I love scifi. Always have. I love all the genres, really. From comedy (Eureka style) to full on gut gripping terror (Event Horizon), I dig it all. Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t tell the difference between bad scifi and good scifi. Bad scifi is half of what Hollywood puts out, while good scifi is Joss Whedon, Battlestar Galactica, Orphan Black (and many others). But, I appreciate fun scifi most of all. If I am having a good time watching/reading/listening to something then that is all that matters. I do not care that the core processor being used would never be able to fire up the sub-space uberdrive’s dimensional potential because it can only process 100 TBs per millisecond. That makes no difference to me as long as the story is fun. Why doesn’t it make a difference? Because it’s science fiction! None of it is real! None of it! It’s a made-up story in a world that doesn’t exist. Even the “realistic” science-based scifi is still fiction. And all of that goes for  horror, fantasy, comic books and their adaptations on the big and small screen as well. It isn’t real and there are no rules when something isn’t real.

Of course, if something sucks (like really, really, really sucks) then it isn’t going to be fun.

Except… The cheese!

Now, I am using the cultural entertainment definition of cheese, not the dairy-based foodstuffs definition (but I do love that foodstuffs!). I am a HUGE fan of cheese! I love the “so bad, it’s good” scifi out there. I mean the SyFy channel cranks that out by the buttload and I just can’t keep up. I don’t even try anymore. One of my favorite memories of my childhood was the first time I ever saw Plan 9 From Outer Space on late night cable. Oh, the joy! It was so incredibly bad that even as a small child I could see the flaws. But, man, was it fun to watch! The horrible acting, the non-existent sets beyond cardboard and curtains, the flying saucers with the strings showing! Perfection! My son and I talk about this movie constantly with great fondness. It is a masterpiece.

Take everything I have said above and apply it to all genres and you know how I roll. I like to have fun and I refuse to pick something apart just to pick it apart. Why even watch/read/listen to anything if you aren’t even going to try to enjoy it?

This is why I doubt you will ever see me review anything or really even comment about it. I just can’t get to that place. I can have a good hearty discussion like the next person and I do have strong opinions about certain pieces of work (I can never get the two and a half hours back that I wasted watching Titanic in the theater. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it). But, who the heck am I to say what is good and what isn’t? I’m a writer and I know how those reviews feel.

So, if you take anything from this post, let it be that it is okay to have fun! It is okay to enjoy yourself even if the movie/book/TV show/podcast isn’t perfect or as good as you thought it should be OR as good as someone else thought it should be! You don’t have to justify your enjoyment, you don’t have to worry that you will be thought less of, you don’t have to worry at all! Don’t be afraid to taste the cheese! Don’t be afraid to enjoy something without a care in the world what other people think!

Sometimes, almost ALL the time, it’s just better to have FUN for FUN’S sake!

And with that I leave you this!

Cheers!

Disclaimer: This is a generalization! I am not saying all geeks argue the details, thus ruining the entertainment value of a product. I’m just saying, well, you know what I’m saying and you know the type I’m talking about. If you don’t know what I’m saying and want to argue about this then please re-read my post. Thanks!

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Another Friday, another Party!

You like the drabbles, huh? Do ya, huh? Oh, I know ya do!

So how about we just get to it, eh? Just dive right into tonight’s 100 words, huh? You like that? Do ya?

Enjoy!

***

Digging Began…
By
Jake Bible

The photos were posted at 8:53pm on May 23rd, 2013. They were shared by several students for the next two hours before they went viral.

Tina found out at 12:47am on May 24th, 2013. Her first reaction wasn’t shock or embarrassment, but pure rage. Sweet, homicidal rage. If her father saw those pictures…

The plan was devised at 3:25am on May 24th, 2013. Tools were bagged; duct tape and plastic were bagged; shovel was obtained.

The photos’ hard drive disappeared at 6:13am May 24th, 2013. The hard drive’s owner disappeared minutes later.

Digging began at 8:32am on May 24th, 2013…

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Bullying is bad. Murder is just as bad. Except when…

The Next Way To Publish- The Pitches!

Howdy, folks!

Today, as promised, I am listing the pitches for the ten novels I’d like to write and you get to vote on!

On Monday April 8th the voting will be open, so go ahead and read these over and ponder which three you’d like to see go to the next round of voting.

Got questions? Fire away in the comments section.

Cheers!

The Pitches-

Natural Born Cyborgs
The techno-virus used by the Three hundreds of years ago has mutated and combined with BC (biochrome) to create a generation of natural born cyborgs- part biorganic metal, part human. Society decides these Splicers, as they are called, are too dangerous to let live and rounds them up for extermination. Those not found must hide their true natures and fight for their lives. And the lives of those yet born.
Set in the same universe as DEAD MECH, but hundreds of years after the events in the Apex Trilogy, Natural Born Cyborgs is the first in the Splicer Wars series of novels that introduce the world to the new MechPunk style of science fiction- raw, unrelenting, brutal, and shiny.

Chrome
Stone and Reginald are back. The two bioborgs (organic metal cyborgs with human consciousnesses) from the Apex Trilogy are now in the Mexican Empire and refusing to get along with anyone or play nice. Sucked into a world of drugs, violence, greed, and corruption, the partners, and former operatives for the Three, are pushed to their limits. Unfortunately for those pushing, Stone and Reginald have no limits. A high-action techno-thriller, Chrome continues the brutal, unrelentingly violent saga of two killers trained in the art of chaos and destruction.

PAIN
Day is for the Unseen. Night is for everyone else if they want to stay alive.
But that is about to change…
In an alien landscape, humanity is forced to live at night and only the Coffin Men travel from settlement to settlement, bringing needed supplies, information, and entertainment. Pulling their massive iron Coffins behind them –their homes, their armories, their sanctuaries- these men brave the dangers of the night and fear only the Unseen of the day. But Coffin Men are never allies. They work for themselves and protect their routes with brutal finality, many times entertaining settlements with a no-holds barred fight to the death to see which Coffin Man will keep their territory or lose it to a new challenger.
Trained by his father, but left orphaned, Pain is known as one of the most ruthless of the Coffin Men, having raised himself from a young boy, pulling his Coffin on his own, developing the skills of a killer, trader, fighter, ambassador without help from anyone. When Pain hears whispers in his mind during his fretful daytime sleep, he realizes that the Unseen may no longer be willing to keep only to the day as they have for millennia. Something has changed. And Pain knows that if he doesn’t unite the settlements, and the Coffin Men, then humanity’s tenuous grasp on survival is over.

Stone Cold Bastards
What if the Dirty Dozen were a crack team of gargoyles that must defend their Sanctuary against a raving horde of demon-possessed humans that want nothing more than the destruction of the entire human race and all that is good?
Yeah. That.
Stone Cold Bastards is set in a world where Hell has released every last demon and most of humanity is now a puke-spewing, blue-skinned, head-spinning mess. The last hope humanity has are a rag-tag team of gargoyles, come to life and ready for battle now that the End of Days is at hand. Do the gargoyles care that humanity is being wiped out? Not really. Do they intend to go defend those that are being brutally murdered and tortured? Not so much. Will they fight to their last carved claw to keep their Sanctuary, and everyone in it, from harm? Oh, hell yes they will!
Will they open their Sanctuary to a wandering gargoyle and the small child it says is the last hope for all? They haven’t decided yet. They’re thinking about it over bottles of whiskey. Come back tomorrow.
Action, violence, pulpy good fun is what Stone Cold Bastards is all about!

Big Box Blood Bath
The world outside BigMart is gone.
No more.
Adios.
Kaput.
Those left inside cannot leave.
Ever.
Naturally, real estate is divided and factions are formed upon the concrete and between the massive shelves of foodstuffs and durable goods.
It’s men versus women, children versus the aged.
And every aisle for itself!
A gore-filled romp of Thunderdome meets The Mist all set in a Sam’s Club-style hell.

Instinct
Peter Bremer is a man thrust into a world of brutal violence as he tries to help a friend escape the clutches of organized crime. Peter has never fired a gun, never held a knife outside of his kitchen, never been in a fight.
Never killed anyone.
But the man quickly finds out he’s good at all if it. Some might say he has an instinct for it.
Especially the killing.
Instinct is a non-stop thriller that puts Peter in harm’s way on every page. A race to the death, Instinct pulls zero punches and will leave you breathless as Peter Bremer discovers, and must come to terms with, his true nature.

PoDLanD
In The Retail States of America, the PoDs are everything. School, shopping, dining, and work are all done in the PoDs. Why go outside? Why ever leave a PoD? PoDs are life!
But for Customer Service PoD Captain First Class Huxley Moore, the world tips upside down and Huxley finds himself, and his two other ComPoDres, flung out into the Wildz.
Literally flung. Like their PoD was picked up and thrown out into the Wildz. Well, not really. More like a major system malfunction that activates their PoD’s escape protocols. Either way, not good.
Now Huxley, and his ComPoDres, must drag their PoD through the Commune, the Coast, the Cascades, the Columbia, the Cartels, and the Capitol, in order to get back to the Customers they have sworn to protect and serve.
Join Huxley in this science fiction satire as he fights his way back to his life in PoDLanD and discovers some truths along the way.

Backyard
“Some things insist on coming back inside, even when you’ve put them out back forever.”
The Reardons have moved from their shattered lives in Chicago to a small, old, family farm in the rural mountains of North Carolina. They struggle to pick up the pieces after their son and daughter are killed by a drunk driver. Now an only child, eight year old Abby must cope with a father that blames himself, a mother that has checked out with booze and drugs, and a new life on a farm with a sinister past. And a deadly future.
Backyard is a classic horror story harkening back to such greats as Ghost Story and The Shining. It tells the tale of a young girl that is for all intents and purposes on her own in an unfamiliar setting that would love nothing more than to have her join the things that live (or not) in the backyard forever.

B.A.M.F.V.
Sick of the pop culture bullshit, vampires decide to come out to the world and show humanity that they’re just as varied as the race they came from. But before the vampires and the humans can come to an understanding of co-existence, the fundamentalist religions of the world declare war on the bloodsuckers. Just as an alien race targets the Earth for destruction.
Now the same religions, along with the rest of the human race, must beg the vampires to help save them from a force even more deadly than the fanged creatures of the night. Lucky for humanity, despite their variations in physicality, temperament and appetite, every single one of the bloodsuckers are Bad Ass Mother Fucking Vampires.
It’s Underworld meets Mars Attacks! in this crazy horror/scifi mash-up that will leave the reader cringing, crying, howling with laughter, and on the edge of their seat as those that meant to drain the last drop of blood from humanity now have to save them in order to survive.

Consume
In America we are taught that Capitalism is the most important part of our society. There is debate about that amongst the many political and social organizations, but for Trey Bellamy there is no debate. The mighty dollar and all that it can buy is king in his book! Until one day he buys his morning latte and screams in pain. He is horrified to find a chunk of flesh missing from his lower leg. The ER says it is obviously the result of an animal attack. Trey knows it is obviously not. So when he goes to pay the ER bill, and two fingers are chomped off  his left hand before his eyes, Trey begins a quest to find answers to more than just his spending problems. From the high-rise offices of medical research mega-corporations to the dank basements of Hoodoo priests, Trey has to figure out how to navigate a culture that runs on paying for what you need and rejecting those that can’t. But can he find an answer before spending more money and is forever consumed?

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Oh, hello there, Friday! Glad to see ya!

And I’m glad to see all of you here for another Drabble Party! Welcome, welcome. Leave your coats by the door and grab a beverage. There’re snacks in the kitchen.

All settled? Excellent.

So we have had another Party goer join the fun. Welcome to Frailey! I dig the additions to the drabbles.

I know I had said way back that I’d comment on drabbles that were added to the Party. I have decided not to. I quickly realized I’m not a critic. To each their own is how I see it. I think just having the guts to put your 100 words on the website is good enough. No need to get all subjective on the drabble itself.

So come one, come all! Time to get your Party on!

Enjoy!

***

Back With A Vengeance

By

Jake Bible

“NOOOOOO!!!” Manny shouted as the first bullet tore Terrance’s forehead apart. Chunks of skull and thin strips of skin exploded into the misty morning air. A fine spray of blood floated on the slight breeze.

Manny dove under the Valiant he and his brother had been struggling to restore. More bullets flew through the air and followed Manny, ripping wide holes in the Valiant’s blood stained primer gray.

“Who are you?” Manny screamed.

“A shadow from your past,” a woman’s voice replied. “You remember that night, right? Should have killed me.”

“Dear God…,” Manny whispered, knowing he was already dead.

***

Cheers!

Oh, and if you haven’t heard, I have decided to walk away from podcasting. Check out the post I dropped yesterday for more info.

Disclaimer: I do not, nor ever have, condoned the destruction of classic automobiles. No actual Valiants were harmed in the writing of this drabble.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Ok, folks. It appears the Party consists of myself and Heyes. Not that that is a problem. The guy can write!

So, if you think you can write (I call dibs on that as the next breakout reality show!) then get your wordy words down in the comments section tonight! DO IT!

Enjoy!

***

Serial Rookie
By
Jake Bible

“When it makes a promise it must keep the promise,” the man outside the cage insisted. “Or if it does not keep the promise then the promise it has been told will happen.”
Carl just stood there, his hands on the iron bars, his eyebrows raised. “I have no idea what you are saying.”
The man outside the cage sighed and then started again, but Carl quickly interrupted him. “No, I heard you. I just have no idea why you are saying that.”
The man outside the cage looked at his notes. “OK, let’s try this. It puts the lotion…”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Oh, it will get the hose again…

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