Jake Bible Fiction

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Thirteen: Writing Is Not A Community Endeavor!

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    For today’s post I want to talk about how writing is not a community endeavor. Which you already guessed since that’s the title of the post. So let’s move on, shall we?

    I am part of many Facebook writing groups. Some are public, some are private. Most duplicate each other because they are populated by insecure, needy, know-it-all, egotistical, depressed individuals. Writers.

    On one of these groups there was a “discussion” about reviews and whether or not a writer should listen when a reviewer, or reviewers, mention a part of the writer’s style they do not like. My take is to always, always, always, always, ignore reviews. Did I mention the always? Yeah, always ignore reviews. Why? Because they are written by reviewers, not writers. These are readers that have opinions, not professionals with actual experience or insight. Also, reviewers are people. And people are flawed. Just because someone read your book and then posted a review about it, doesn’t mean they are smarter than you or their opinion actually holds weight.

    Hell, they could have written it while doing meth off Bigfoot’s three foot dong, for all you know.

    Ignore reviews and move along.

    I stated this on the group and one individual decided that I was wrong, that you should listen to reviewers because if they all start commenting on the same flaw then you should change how you write to please them. They are the readers and you write for the readers.

    Bullshit.

    This person also started talking about critique groups and agents and editors and publishers and blah blah blah. That, as a writer, you should listen to them.

    Bullshit.

    I responded that writing is not, nor ever has been or ever will be, a community endeavor. That person did not enjoy that statement. They proceeded to write paragraph after paragraph about how I was wrong.

    Bullshit.

    Let me explain why, in very simple terms, this person is, and shall forever be, wrong: Because only you write the novel.

    Are there others involved like agents and editors and publishers? Yes. But they don’t write your novels.

    Are there readers and reviewers out there that want and expect novels to be a certain way? Yes. But they don’t write your novels.

    Only you are the author, the writer, the creator. It is fair to say that there are plenty of professionals willing to offer you advice, but it is never fair to say that writing a novel is anything but a solitary experience. Unless you write with a partner, then it’s a dual experience. Whatever, you get the picture.

    Your agent and editor and publisher can all say they want you to change Chapter Five. But you don’t have to do that. If Chapter Five is perfect the way you want then you can leave it. It’s your novel. Or, if their advice holds water, then make the decision to change Chapter Five.

    Either way, it’s up to you and you alone.

    This isn’t a hippie, dippy food co-op where everyone has to hug it out and have good vibes, man. This isn’t the PTO wanting everyone’s kid to feel special so let’s have a bake sale where there’s no gluten, peanuts, fats, sugar, corn, air, fun. This isn’t an HOA where you need a quorum for Bob Jones to be able to put up a fence that is one eighth shorter than the mandatory fence height.

    This is none of that. You are a writer and the final decision is up to you. Always.

    Now, I’m not talking quality here. Maybe the committee is right and Chapter Five needs to be jettisoned out of the airlock into deep space. Could be. Doesn’t matter. Still your choice.

    Writing is not, nor will it ever be, a community endeavor.

    You may not be all alone, but you are the writer and in the end it is your novel and you control what you keep, what you toss, what you like, what you don’t, and what the reader gets in the end. If you approach it from any other angle then find a new profession. You aren’t meant to be a writer.

    Sound harsh? Sure. But it really isn’t. Why? Because if your novel bombs, even after taking everyone’s advice into account, guess who gets the blame?  Your agent? Nope. Your editor? Nope. Your critique club? Nope. The fans and readers? Nope.

    If you take the advice and your novel fails you will be the one that is blamed.

    So if the blame isn’t spread to the community then why should any of the creative process be?

    Take what advice you want to or not, but always as a conscious decision based on your instincts and feelings. Never because someone told you to.

    Because you are the writer and it’s your damn novel! Always.

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

    He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the forthcoming YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, and Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).

     

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Twelve: Cooking A Novel!

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    Today I am going to talk about how I cook, or uh, write a novel.

    Personally, I see a lot of correlations between cooking and writing. And you’d be surprised how easy it is to compare the publishing industry to the food service industry.

    This past weekend I was on a road trip with the Fam to a wedding. A quick drive there on Friday, wedding on Saturday, drive back on Sunday. It was a 10 hour drive each way, so there was lots of time to think about my writing process. And write. I did some writing too. Good thing I don’t get car sick.

    For those that don’t know, I have contracts with Severed Press and Permuted Press through June 2015. I will basically be writing a novel a month for a good while. Now, some may shriek at the idea, freak out over the lack of time that gives me, worry that I won’t put my all into the novels. Don’t fret, folks, don’t fret.

    Why? Because I write fast. If I had a year to write a novel I’d still write it in a month. That’s just what I do.

    Some may try to argue that a year would give me time to polish the novel, make it the best it can be. I say that I would end up watching Netflix for eleven months. I don’t need a year to write a 75k novel. That’s the writer guy I am.

    And let me tell you why a month works for me.

    You see, I write like how I cook. I used to be a professional cook. Did it for a living for ten years. So, I have a system. I am organized, I have ideas and tastes in my head before I turn the stove on. Same with my writing.

    The first draft is my mis en place. It’s my prep, my getting everything ready so it is there at hand. I know the story I want to write and in my first draft I get everything out of the fridge and pantry, chop it, slice it, dice it, parboil it, what have you. All the components for the novel are laid out in front of me, ready to do their thing. The first draft is raw; edible, but not palatable. It needs to be fully cooked.

    That’s the second part of my process- the cooking. You’d think that would be the first part, but it’s not. A first draft is just prep for the real magic. When I go back over my first draft that’s when I apply the heat, add the seasoning, let the book simmer a bit to break down the tough bits and bring out the flavor. I watch the book and make sure it doesn’t boil over and scorch. I do all of this by just going over my novel, looking at it on my computer monitor, fixing the typos, reworking sentences, exapnding description, merging characters, cutting/adding scenes. I’m sauteing, broiling, roasting, grilling, whatever.

    The last part is when I actually print out the manuscript and grab my trusty red pen. This is the final adjustment and tweak part. It’s just like tasting a dish and adding more salt, a touch of pepper, maybe a smidgen of honey to cut that bitterness. The third part is where the meal really comes together for me. I’ve prepped, done the major cooking, now all I have to do is make sure the finished product is the best it can be.

    Bam!

    Then the novel is sent off for proofreading. I think of this as plating before the dish is served. Make it look all pretty like.

    And just like all meals, once it’s done it’s time to start again. Month by month this is my process. Prep, cook, tweak.

    Many writers like to state that the first draft is shit. I think of it more as raw. It’s not ready, but that doesn’t mean it sucks. Not every writing process, just like cooking style and/or palate, is the same. Each writer must find their own way in the literary kitchen. Again just like cooking, it’s easier for some, harder for others, but it is always the end result that matters.

    I don’t worry how long it takes me to write a novel, I just make sure it’s done when I serve it. If it needs more time then I take more time. If it only needs a quick sear then I take that bitch off the grill and get it to a plate! The novel is done when the novel is done and I’m totally cool with that.

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

    He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the forthcoming YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, and Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).

     

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Eleven: Deadlines!

    Captains ChairBlogAhoy, Mateys!

    No time to write a post! Gotta meet a deadline!

    Actually, I’m not kidding. Part of being a full-time professional writer is that I have monthly deadlines I need to hit in order to get my manuscripts in on time to my publishers. This means things like blog posts and brushing my teeth will have to wait.

    But let’s not have this space go to waste. Feel free to share your thoughts on deadlines. Maybe a story or two on how working under pressure has helped/hurt your writing. Or just vent about the anxiety attack you are close to having because the first draft is due NOW!

    Deadlines are there for a reason, and I am glad for them, but let’s face it, life would be better without them. Or would it? OR WOULD IT?

    Sound off, yo, in the comments below.

    I’ll leave you all to it.

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

    He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the forthcoming YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, and Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Another Friday! Another Drabble! Another Party!

    And there’s a night in there somewhere too.

    Last week I gave you my “form” post. That was fun. What? Yes, it was. Don’t argue.

    This week I will go straight to the drabble. Right after this message from our sponsor!

    DeadTeamAlpha-EcoverDo you like zombies? How about guns and guts and lots of swearing? Are you sure, because when I say lots of swearing I’m talking about the f-bomb being dropped 455 times in one novel? Can you handle it? CAN YOU?

    Of course you can, which is why you are going to read Dead Team Alpha! Look at the cover! That’s some awesome waiting to jam into your eyeholes and make sweet, sweet love to your grey matter!

    Dead Team Alpha: If the zombies don’t get you then the intense amount of cursing will!

    Now to the drabble!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Ash Man

    By

    Jake Bible

     

    “Four, five, six,” the man says, slapping the bills into my palm.

     

    “The deal was for 1200,” I frown, knowing the missing cash will come out of my ass if I walk into Scotty’s with only this.

     

    “The deal was for pure ash,” the man says, grabbing up a bag of grey powder from the table. “This ain’t pure.”

     

    “Sure it is,” I smile.

     

    “Right,” the man says. “You think I’m a fool? I know cat ash.”

     

    He cuts into the bag with a knife and snorts a small pile directly from the blade.

     

    “Cat,” he says. “Not human. Cat.”

     

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Drugs are bad, m’kay?

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Nine: Ignore The Internet, It’s A Mean Place.

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    I had a whole other post brewing in the ol’ brainpan, but I decided I’d wait on that one and go a different route. Something else is troubling me.

    The Mean.

    Or, as it’s commonly known, the Internet. But I’m going to start calling it the Mean. It’s more apropos.

    You see, there is one theme that runs through all those wires and servers and hubs and routers and doohickeys (possibly a couple of doodads, also), and that is the idea that since you aren’t in the same room with someone, don’t have to look them in the eye, and they can’t physically touch you, then you can say whatever you want, do whatever you want, and treat people however you want. You can be mean on the Mean without worrying about getting your ass handed to you.

    Which sucks.

    That in-person fight or flight mechanism that is coded into our DNA is there for a reason. It tells us when to hold ’em, when to fold ’em, when to walk away, and when to run. That’s the natural order. But on the Mean? Nope. You can be as cruel as you want and a fist won’t turn your nose into jelly. No limits, no consequences.

    Many say the Mean has allowed them to truly feel empowered and speak up for themselves. That may be true for a small (very, very small) minority. But for everyone else? I call bullshit.

    Because it’s actually all about just being mean.

    Empathy is not allowed on the Mean, only cruelty.

    You are asking what this has to do with writing. I’m getting there, trust me.

    I won’t go into the psychology of the Mean. No need. It’s about as textbook grade school as you can get.

    The Mean has become the psychological and emotional dumping ground for every unstable persona on the planet. When I open Firefox and connect to the Mean it takes less than one minute to find someone drinking up someone else’s sorrow then spitting it back in their face. Try it. Go to Facebook and read your feed. How long does it take you to see someone rolling in the Mean and reveling in the hateful stink they’ve rubbed into their nooks and crannies?

    The Mean is now a place where introverts become bullies, bullies become trolls, and trolls become monsters.

    And those bullies, trolls, monsters lay traps.

    What’s that? What are these traps I speak of?

    The Rules.

    Oh, the Mean has Rules. No one knows where they came from or who decides that they are Rules. Just one day there they are, posted for everyone to see. Rules. They make sure people stay engaged to the Mean. They trap people into thinking they don’t have a choice, that they have to respond or argue because, you know, the Rules.

    Fuck Rules.

    I didn’t sign a contract with the Mean. I have zero intention of abiding by Rules created by those that suckle at the teet of the Mean. I’m going to conduct myself just as I would in public, with decency and honesty and freedom. The Mean can get mad, but I don’t care. I honestly don’t.

    I won’t even list examples of the Rules because the Mean is all about ignoring intent, spirit, and substance. The Mean likes to argue minutiae. It refuses to see the bigger picture, the grand design, the overarching theme. Because then the Mean would have to see itself in that picture, design, theme. And that would not be pretty.

    Again with the textbook psychology. Rules are a classic way that abusers assert control. They create insane Rules that no sane person can possibly live by in order to force a showdown so they can feel justified in abusing those they have forced the Rules on in the first place. If it wasn’t so destructive, I’d laugh at the transparent idiocy of it all.

    So, again, fuck Rules. Fuck the Mean and its Rules. They hold zero power over me.

    What? Writing? You still want to know how this is about writing?

    Here is why this is about writing: because the Mean is made of words. Sure, there’s YouTube and Instagram, but the vast majority of the Mean is words. Facebook and Twitter dominate. And they are words.

    As a writer, my words mean something to me. They are my livelihood, how I support my family, how I express myself as an artist, how I share the stories in my head with others. Those words I type, type, type everyday are more than just representations of the alphabet. Way more. They are an extension of who I am.

    And I don’t want those words to be mean.

    I have a thousand metaphors I can use, but there’s no point in writing them. I have actually deleted at least a dozen while composing this post. They don’t need to be said. I’m not debating, I’m not arguing, I’m not even asking for a polite discussion.

    I’m just pointing out how mean the words are on the Mean. Mean, mean, mean. And like I said above, I don’t want my words to be mean.

    My New Year’s resolution was to ignore the Mean and not get wrapped up in it. I have done wonderfully. I see posts about this, about that, about whatever and I don’t engage. I just scroll on by and shake my head. No need for me to get wrapped up in that crap. No good comes of it. And no one cares what anyone else thinks anyway, so what’s the point in engaging?

    I shared that with you because that’s how I am treating my writing career. I’m not getting wrapped up in the manufactured drama or pointless arguments. I’m gonna write. I’m gonna put more and more novels out there for my fans to read. That’s where my words are going to go, not a Facebook post that serves no purpose other than to hurt someone else.

    I’m not going to be mean. And I’m not going to pay attention to the Mean.

    I’m also not going to tell anyone what to do. Not my place. If I’m saying fuck Rules then I sure as shit am not going to be adding to them by telling you how to act.  Take this post how you will. Everyone is free to do and act as they want.

    Personally, I plan on acting with kindness, with courtesy, with respect, and with gratitude. Everything good in my life has come from those actions. Everything bad has come from when I was mean. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do that math. If I can’t respond to something with kindness, courtesy, respect, and/or gratitude then I won’t act; I won’t respond. I’ll show restraint and exercise my genetic right to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, and by golly, know when to run.

    So, to sum up: No mean for me. The Mean will just have to find a different writer. Hopefully that writer isn’t you.

    Cheers.

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    A professional writer since 2009, Jake has a proven record of innovation, invention and creativity. Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.