Jake Bible Fiction

  • Friday Night Drabble Party! DEAD MECH Edition!

    Happy Friday, Y’all!

    And yes, I did capitalize the “Y” in Y’all. You deserve it!

    First, a great big thanks to everyone the helped spread the word with the $.99 Z-Burbia sale! Second, thank you to everyone that helps me in any way at all!

    You people rock, therefore I salute you! Or something metal like that…

    Now, as you can see from the title, tonight’s Drabble Party is DEAD MECH themed. You may or may not know that my very first novel, the one that begins the Apex Trilogy, is a Drabble Novel! The one and only (as far as I know)! A novel written in 100 word sections! EXCITING!

    That’s why, down below those crazy asterisks, you will find not one, not two, not three, but NINE drabbles taken straight from DEAD MECH!  Yes, I know I skipped five, six, seven, eight in that count, but I needed to save time. Which I totally have lost by writing this explanation! Dammit!

    And why do this mighty excerpt extravaganza? Because it’s on sale by Severed Press for $.99! CRAZY!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Bisby came up firing, his plasma cannon glowing red hot with each successive blast.

    Red Legs agilely dodged to the left, taking cover behind some debris. Chunks of ancient concrete and steel filled the air as Bisby followed Red Legs’ movement, trying to aim his blasts ahead of the deader.

    “Fucking stand still!” Bisby yelled. And Red Legs did, using the girder to block several of the plasma blasts. The undead machine hurled the warped and melted chunk of metal straight at Bisby.

    Bisby brought an arm up to deflect the attack, the collision forcing his mech to stumble backwards.

    ***

    “Themopolous,” the Doctor answered, checking Steve’s vital signs.

    “Doctor? I have General Powell on secure com. I hope you have a few minutes for to speak privately?”

    Themopolous glanced at the doorway as Harlow came in, sleepily stretching. She motioned at her com ear and Harlow nodded, shooing her away and taking over Steve’s assessment. Dr. Themopolous left the infirmary quickly.

    “Of course, sir. I’m almost to my office now.”

    “Excellent, Doctor,” the General chimed in. “I have some great news regarding the newly developed retrovirus Dr. Lisbon informed you of.”

    Themopolous froze and forced herself not to be sick.

    ***

    Red Legs took immediate advantage of Bisby’s faltering and opened fire. Bisby took a graze to the right shoulder, the smell of scorched metal overpowering his environmental filters, as his mech slammed to the ground. He checked systems and saw he had been lucky, sustaining only minimal damage.

    Quickly, Bisby tucked his mech back behind a half buried transport, hoping the shell still had enough structural integrity left to take the onslaught. Red Legs’s blasts began to slow, the concussions weakening.

    Bisby checked his scanners and smiled. The deader was losing power.

    “Okay,” he said aloud, “no more fucking around!”

    ***

    “I’m ready to proceed, sirs,” Themopolous said, settling into her desk chair, apprehension clawing at her, forcing her to keep her voice even.

    “Excellent. I’ll keep this brief as I know you are both busy,” the General said. “At approximately 1700 hours tomorrow, a supply train will be arriving with the inoculation for your base personnel.”

    “Sir?” Capreze said, stunned.

    “Yes, Commander. We have already inoculated all of the city/states and security outposts. Your base is the last on the list. We didn’t want to rush the process, seeing as the mechs are an integral part of our overall survival.”

    ***

    Bisby rolled his mech to the right into a tight crouch. Red Legs circled, trying to get the advantage, its cannons glowing dully.

    “Looks like you’re almost out of juice, deader!” Bisby taunted. Red Legs roared.

    Bisby sprang, his mech launching into the air, twisting away from the cannon blasts. Three, two, one… The two mechs collided in a massive, ground-shaking crunch.

    Bisby didn’t lose stride, tucking his mech’s left arm up under Red Legs and lifting it into the air. He brought the right arm down fast, smashing at Red Leg’s cockpit, hoping to crush the zombie pilot inside.

    ***

    “Is there anything I need to have prepared, sir?” Themopolous asked, her voice audibly shaking now.

    “No, no, we have everything taken care of. There will be two med techs to administer the inoculations and a small security force to accompany them.”

    “I’ll be sure and have accommodations ready, sir,” Capreze said, picking up on Themopolous’ faltering poise, hoping the General hadn’t.

    “Not necessary, Commander. They will only be there long enough for the techs to complete their work and for the train to refuel and re-supply.”

    “Well, sir, the Doctor and I will have the base ready for them.”

    ***

    Bisby raged as he pounded away at Red Legs’ cockpit hatch, so close he could smell the rot and decay.

    The dead mech tried to ward off the blows, but it was no match for Bisby’s close combat skills. For every maneuver it tried to make, Bisby expertly countered, never letting the bludgeoning slack.

    After only minutes, the dead mech’s power reserves gave up and the giant machine became dead weight. Bisby threw the deader to the ground and shoved his 50mm into the cracked cockpit, ready to vaporize the barely moving zombie pilot.

    “Biz? Talk to me!” Rachel crackled.

    ***

    “Now, I do need to verify all base personnel will be present,” General Powell said casually.

    “Well, no sir. I have a team on a supply run to Foggy Bottom as we speak. They won’t return for a few days.”

    “Their names, Commander?”

    Capreze hesitated. This wasn’t protocol. There was no need for a First General to be inquiring about the roster; that was why he had an assistant.

    “Pilot Masters, General Mechanic Rind, and our new Rookie.”

    There was a slight pause. “Excellent, Commander. Thank you. I’ll let both of you return to your busy schedules.”

    “Thank you, sir.”

    ***

    “Whatcha want, Rache?” Bisby asked, exhausted, trigger finger itching to depress and obliterate Red Legs’s zombie pilot.

    “What do I want? WHAT DO I FUCKING WANT?” Rachel exploded. “I want to know that you aren’t deader food! That you are still alive and in one piece! That’s what I fucking want!”

    Bisby took a deep breath and removed his finger from the trigger. “Yeah, I’m in one piece. Red Legs is out of commission.” Bisby undid his harness and opened his cockpit. “I’m descending now to retrieve the head for Themopolous.”

    “Be careful.”

    Bisby snorted and climbed down his mech.

    ***

    If you dug that, and haven’t already purchased the ebook, then get to it!

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: There are naughty words up there. But I guess it’s a little too late for the warning. My bad!

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Seven: Rant [REDACTED]

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    So, I had an entire post written Monday morning and ready to go. By Monday afternoon I’d deleted it. All of it. 1,200 words went bye bye.

    Why?

    Because I sounded like a douche. While the opinions may have been snarktacular, they were also just shitty. Don’t get me wrong, I totally agree with myself and believe the words I wrote, but they weren’t what I wanted to put out to the public.

    Again, why?

    Because my readers don’t all think like me. My colleagues don’t all think like me. Publishers don’t all think like me. The industry itself, whether trad or self, doesn’t think like me.

    And I could be wrong.

    That’s the big one there- I could be wrong.

    I made a lot of mistakes early in my writing career by shooting my self-righteous mouth off. I know I alienated some folks; folks that I looked up to and aspired to be. Looking back I can see why those folks stopped reaching out ot me. They didn’t want to get douche on their hands.

    This post is simply about taking some time and thinking before you post or blog or comment. Think whether or not your opinion actually adds something to the conversation or is just you mentally masturbating on Facebook. Also, think about what your opinion might mean to others. Will it hurt their feelings? Does it alienate them? Can it be looked back on as the reason why readers started giving you 1-star reviews?

    The internet is a funny, irrational place, so treat it that way. You may feel justified, but I can guarantee that 800 others feel justified against you. You can’t win on the internet, you can only lose.

    I have watched authors lately take up the pro/con argument for/against self-publishing. Nine times out of ten they sound like whiny putzes. Not all, mind you, just nine out of the ten. And I am counting both sides of the argument. Rare is the clear, fair voice that realizes something every professional writer should already know.

    What’s that, you ask? What should every professional writer know?

    That opinions are like assholes and you can’t bleach the stink away. Or everyone has got one. Pick an asshole metaphor and go with it.

    Professional writers should also know that there is no one path and that there is no one answer. Hell, there aren’t even 100 paths or answers. The number is infinite, those paths and answers. Each writer is completely different, so arguing what works and what doesn’t only applies to one person. That’s it. One person.

    That’s why I deleted my asshole, I mean, my opinion. It was jerky, snob-shite. Again, I believe every word, but it’s best left in my head. You don’t need to hear it.

    And before you go all, “Burn the witch!” on me and shit, please know I’m not saying writers shouldn’t contribute opinions. Just make them productive, not destructive. Add to the profession, don’t detract from it. Contribute.

    And, for the love of God, keep the one-eyed bleach monster in your jeggings, will ya? There are plenty of bleached assholes out there yammering away. I don’t need to be one of them. And you don’t either. Keep that thing in your pants. Trust me. Everyone will thank you for that.

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    A professional writer since 2009, Jake has a proven record of innovation, invention and creativity. Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    It’s Friday Night Drabble Party AND Valentine’s Day!

    I love you guys soooooooo much!

    And for Valentine’s Day I get to announce that Z-Burbia is $.99! THAT’S LOVE, PEOPLE! So get you a copy if you haven’t been able to before. Also, there are some great writers with special deals happening today! Check out the Eat Your Heart Out promotion going on for only a couple more hours. GO! GO NOW!

    Let’s see, what else can I announce? Oh, right, I’ll be part of the Permuted Platinum list of authors! Have a read here, if you are so inclined. AND, the Z-Burbia Audiobook is out too!

    Okay, I’m done. On with the drabble!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Frosted Pain

    By

    Jake Bible

     

    “Elk?” he asked, taking another bite. “Boar?”

     

    “No,” she replied.

     

    The delicateness, yet gamey flavor had him stymied. Hints of grass and oak, perhaps even just a little cloves. It tasted so familiar.

     

    “Bison? I give up,” he said finally, patting his belly. “Tell me.”

     

    “Hold on. I’ll get dessert,” she grinned, blowing him a kiss.

     

    His mouth opened in a silent scream as she set the platter down. The frozen head of his lover stared at him, her once bright blue eyes nothing but frosted pain.

     

    “Revenge,” she grinned. “Is a dish best served cold, don’t you think dear?”

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Well, that didn’t feel like 100 words…

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Six: To Free Or Not To Free?

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    Today’s voyage takes us to the land of the free. No, no, we aren’t going to Sweden. Sorry. Nope, we are going to be talking about giving away work for free. Specifically, the idea that if you give your work away for free it will build your audience and create sales when you finally have something to offer for sale.

    Easy topic, right? Yeah…not so much.

    How about a little backstory?

    *Cue wavy lines and doodleoo-doodleoo-doodleoo sound effects*

    One night, as I was riding home from the Contessa’s party, I came upon a horribly disfigured man. This man… What? Oh, wrong backstory. My bad.

    I started my novel writing career by giving my fiction away as a free podcast. It was an easy choice for me since I was listening to a lot of free podcast novels. I learned a lot from the trailblazers like Scott Sigler, JC Hutchins, Mur Lafferty, and the other amazing writers in that community.  I was introduced to Evo Terra and Podiobooks.com. There was a sense that something revolutionary was happening with publishing and I wanted to be a part of that.

    With the support of some of the above mentioned authors, I was able to get the word out about my podcast novel and soon I had a serious following. It was amazing and I’ll always be grateful to those that gave me a helping hand when they didn’t need to at all. Their help put me on the map.

    And my goal, from the start, was to turn the momentum and success of my podcast into a publishing deal. I was able to do that with a small horror press. It was great.

    Then ebooks hit.

    Wow. The game changed. Everything changed.

    I watched the podcast community crumble. Podcasting was no longer the “only” form of distribution for an author trying to break into the publishing world. I watched authors that had been on top, having millions of downloads, hit brick walls.  Some quit, informing their audiences that they were no longer going to give their fiction away for free. They were skewered. It’s the internet, right? You skewer people if they don’t hold up to the expectations you have imposed on them in your brain. That’s what the internet does.

    I wasn’t any better. I skewered. Why? Because I had gotten wrapped up in the “cult” of free. That it’s more important as an author to give your audience what they want instead of getting what you want. That your audience has “made” you and you “owe” them free content FOREVER! Okay, okay, I’m going all hyperbolic and exaggerating. It wasn’t that extreme. Well, except that it was, in many ways.

    I made a lot of claims, I said a lot of things, I opened my mouth and stuck both feet in. Why? Because I lacked experience and the perspective that comes with that.

    So, ebooks. Let’s get back to that.

    They hit the world and all of a sudden authors such as myself could immediately publish our novels without waiting for “Big Publishing” to knock at our doors. We could go from podcast novel to published ebook (and print since POD expanded as well) in the blink of an eye. Amazing!

    Yeah, not so much. You see, free does not translate into sales. It doesn’t even follow the basic tenants of marketing which is a 10% return on investment (ROI). Let’s say I had 10,000 subscribers per month, which was my estimate at my podcasting peak, then it would stand to reason I’d be able to sell 1,000 ebooks. Right?

    Hahahahahahahahaha!

    It was more like a 1% ROI. If that. But, hey, maybe I wasn’t marketing well enough. Maybe I wasn’t getting my message out there since so many new writers had entered the podcasting sphere. Maybe I was getting lost in the noise.

    Okay, so write the next novel that the listeners are hungry for and get that out there. Bam! Bam? Bam…

    Plenty of downloads, almost no books sold. Poop. This free thing was starting to get a little suspect.

    So I took a break for a bit. I concentrated on writing ebooks under a pen name in a certain gold rush genre. I sold El Shit Ton of books. It was amazing. Then the rules changed and Amazon screwed up the party. Kinda like back in the ’80’s when the California real estate bubble burst and everyone realized that coke was burning holes in their sinuses. Party over.

    Time to dive right back into podcasting! Get that new novel out there and sell, sell, sell! I decided that I’d release the ebook first then podcast the novel to build interest in the ebook. Good strategy. Except it didn’t work. What I was hearing from fans wasn’t, “Great novel! Loved reading it”, but instead I heard, “Are you going to podcast it?” and “I like listening better than reading.” Or “You promised to podcast everything”.

    My personal favorite was “By not podcasting this first you don’t give your fans a chance to decide whether they like it or not. I don’t waste money on books I haven’t listened to first for free.”

    That’s an honest to God quote.

    Huh.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I had TONS of dedicated fans that bought my novels. THOSE FANS ARE THE BEST! I still chat with them on my website, on Facebook, on Twitter. Many have become actual friends. Seriously. I won’t list names, but if we’ve interacted in the last week then you are on the BEST list. You know who you are.

    I don’t want to sound ungrateful, completely the opposite. I am very grateful. For all of the exposure, the friendships made, the connections in the industry, the hard lessons learned. All of it. So very grateful.

    Yet, podcasting wasn’t my end goal and I realized it was getting in the way of said end goal. That goal? Get published and be a full time, successful writer. Not a full time podcaster. Podcasting doesn’t pay the bills.  So I quit.

    A year ago I walked away from podcasting. It was noticed in the community and I got skewered, just like the others that had quit before me. Many people wrote blog posts, or recorded podcasts, about me quitting and turned that into a rally cry to keep up the FREE! Free, free, free! Anything else but free was treason! TREASON! Again, being hyperbolic here. The treason comments were from a vocal minority. But they were vocal. And they had/have the right to be vocal.

    Oh, well, no worries. I now had the time to dive into writing and not worry about podcasting. The shift in focus changed everything. I was no longer a “podcast author”, but a writer. I was no longer beholden to download numbers that meant absolutely nothing. My time was all about words on paper, not words in Garageband.

    Why write this huge, rambling post about this?

    Because this weekend I cleared out my podcast feed of all free fiction. Wiped every single post away. Instead, my feed will now be dedicated to offering samples of my audiobooks (which fans can buy on Audible, Amazon, iTunes), essays when the mood strikes, and also other offerings. There could be interviews or readings or whatever. I do like the audio format, but it is now a compliment to my writing, just like my Facebook page or my Twitter account or this blog. Another way for me to interact with fans and readers, but not the only way.

    I am now a full time writer with contracts in place with two publishers. I crank out a novel a month. Yep. I am a writing machine. And I credit a lot of my success to quitting podcasting and getting my head out of the free model. Not because free is bad, but because it clouded my vision of who I was as a writer and where I wanted to go.

    Some of you have been reading this and are saying, “Oh, yeah? Well so and so turned their free novel into a huge publishing deal!” And “Blah blah author is now selling BILLIONS of ebooks a month after giving their work away for free!”

    Those are outliers.

    In fact, all success in all forms of media are examples of outliers. Let that sink in.

    The entertainment industry as a whole is not made up of successes, but of failures. Only an estimated 1 in 400,000 make it in entertainment. That includes agents, grips, editors, cover designers, extras, chorus line dancers, make-up artists, writers, gaffers, etc. You think you’ll be one of those lucky ones? Could be. But there are 399,999 other people that think so as well.

    Now, with that all said, am I condemning giving your writing away for free? Hell no! Seriously, I think it’s a great idea! You can build an audience, you can hone your craft, you can meet others and strike up life long friendships. Giving away your writing for free is a fine solution if you are just starting out. Way better than publishing straight to ebook. Don’t do that. Learn first. Get your shit in gear. Get feedback. Become the writer you want to be, not the writer you are trying to be. There’s a difference.

    So if you are going the free route, bully on you! Just understand that it is a step and a tool, not a career. And not a cult. Develop a plan for your free works. I have my Friday Night Drabble Party each week. I give away a 100 word story every Friday night. It’s easy to do and it helps me work on ideas I otherwise would let sit or forget about. I dig it. But it only takes up an hour of my time each week. Does it bring new readers/fans? Not a clue. That’s why I look at it from the practice/exercise perspective. It’s as much for me as it is for any readers out there.

    And there you go. My experience with free. It won’t be your experience, that’s for sure. We all live individual lives. We all have to choose our paths. Find yours and own it. Own it as in buy it, because nothing in this world is truly free, and if you own that then no one can take it away from you. Or something profound like that.

    Cheers!

    Oh, shit! I totally forgot to take us out of flashback mode!

    *Cue wavy lines and doodleoo-doodleoo-doodleoo sound effects*

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    A professional writer since 2009, Jake has a proven record of innovation, invention and creativity. Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

  • Z-Burbia audiobook sample!

    Want to hear the first chapter of Z-Burbia? Well now you can! Just click play below and you are good to go!

    Zburbia_audiobook_cover

    Whispering Pines is a classic, quiet, private American subdivision on the edge of Asheville, NC, set in the pristine Blue Ridge Mountains. Which is good since the zombie apocalypse has come to Western North Carolina and really put suburban living to the test!
    Surrounded by a sea of the undead, the residents of Whispering Pines have adapted their bucolic life of block parties to scavenging parties, common area groundskeeping to immediate area warfare, neighborhood beautification to neighborhood fortification.

    But, even in the best of times, suburban living has its ups and downs what with nosy neighbors, a strict Home Owners’ Association, and a property management company that believes the words “strict interpretation” are holy words when applied to the HOA covenants. Now with the zombie apocalypse upon them even those innocuous, daily irritations quickly become dramatic struggles for personal identity, family security, and straight up survival.

    Welcome to normal life in Z-Burbia!

    Be on the lookout for Z-Burbia 2: Parkway To Hell! Coming soon!