Jake Bible Fiction

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Thirteen: Writing Is Not A Community Endeavor!

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    For today’s post I want to talk about how writing is not a community endeavor. Which you already guessed since that’s the title of the post. So let’s move on, shall we?

    I am part of many Facebook writing groups. Some are public, some are private. Most duplicate each other because they are populated by insecure, needy, know-it-all, egotistical, depressed individuals. Writers.

    On one of these groups there was a “discussion” about reviews and whether or not a writer should listen when a reviewer, or reviewers, mention a part of the writer’s style they do not like. My take is to always, always, always, always, ignore reviews. Did I mention the always? Yeah, always ignore reviews. Why? Because they are written by reviewers, not writers. These are readers that have opinions, not professionals with actual experience or insight. Also, reviewers are people. And people are flawed. Just because someone read your book and then posted a review about it, doesn’t mean they are smarter than you or their opinion actually holds weight.

    Hell, they could have written it while doing meth off Bigfoot’s three foot dong, for all you know.

    Ignore reviews and move along.

    I stated this on the group and one individual decided that I was wrong, that you should listen to reviewers because if they all start commenting on the same flaw then you should change how you write to please them. They are the readers and you write for the readers.

    Bullshit.

    This person also started talking about critique groups and agents and editors and publishers and blah blah blah. That, as a writer, you should listen to them.

    Bullshit.

    I responded that writing is not, nor ever has been or ever will be, a community endeavor. That person did not enjoy that statement. They proceeded to write paragraph after paragraph about how I was wrong.

    Bullshit.

    Let me explain why, in very simple terms, this person is, and shall forever be, wrong: Because only you write the novel.

    Are there others involved like agents and editors and publishers? Yes. But they don’t write your novels.

    Are there readers and reviewers out there that want and expect novels to be a certain way? Yes. But they don’t write your novels.

    Only you are the author, the writer, the creator. It is fair to say that there are plenty of professionals willing to offer you advice, but it is never fair to say that writing a novel is anything but a solitary experience. Unless you write with a partner, then it’s a dual experience. Whatever, you get the picture.

    Your agent and editor and publisher can all say they want you to change Chapter Five. But you don’t have to do that. If Chapter Five is perfect the way you want then you can leave it. It’s your novel. Or, if their advice holds water, then make the decision to change Chapter Five.

    Either way, it’s up to you and you alone.

    This isn’t a hippie, dippy food co-op where everyone has to hug it out and have good vibes, man. This isn’t the PTO wanting everyone’s kid to feel special so let’s have a bake sale where there’s no gluten, peanuts, fats, sugar, corn, air, fun. This isn’t an HOA where you need a quorum for Bob Jones to be able to put up a fence that is one eighth shorter than the mandatory fence height.

    This is none of that. You are a writer and the final decision is up to you. Always.

    Now, I’m not talking quality here. Maybe the committee is right and Chapter Five needs to be jettisoned out of the airlock into deep space. Could be. Doesn’t matter. Still your choice.

    Writing is not, nor will it ever be, a community endeavor.

    You may not be all alone, but you are the writer and in the end it is your novel and you control what you keep, what you toss, what you like, what you don’t, and what the reader gets in the end. If you approach it from any other angle then find a new profession. You aren’t meant to be a writer.

    Sound harsh? Sure. But it really isn’t. Why? Because if your novel bombs, even after taking everyone’s advice into account, guess who gets the blame?  Your agent? Nope. Your editor? Nope. Your critique club? Nope. The fans and readers? Nope.

    If you take the advice and your novel fails you will be the one that is blamed.

    So if the blame isn’t spread to the community then why should any of the creative process be?

    Take what advice you want to or not, but always as a conscious decision based on your instincts and feelings. Never because someone told you to.

    Because you are the writer and it’s your damn novel! Always.

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

    He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the forthcoming YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, and Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).

     

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Eight: The Working Writer!

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    Today we will be talking about how I, as Captain, gets the booty! No, I don’t mean how I sweet talk Mrs. Captain into dropping her pantaloons. That’ll have to wait for Episode Twenty, at least.

    Nope, today I will chat about what it means to be a working writer. And getting paid to do it.

    Do I need to define working writer? Yeah, probably.

    By my definition, a working writer is someone that solely makes their living from their writing. In previous posts I have explained that a professional writer is someone that gets paid for their writing, whether $1 or $1 million. But the majority of professional writers do not earn enough to live off of. It’s a sad fact, but very true. However, a working writer can live off of what they make with their words. Writing is the income and vocation. Bam!

    Why talk about this? Because there are a lot of attacks and nose-snobbery aimed at being a working writer. “Write for money? Not for art’s sake? How very droll.” That kinda crap.

    I am specifically going to talk about fiction writing, since that is what I know. Write what you know, eh, eh?

    I started making money as a writer back on 2009. Slowly, but surely. Then I was lucky enough to be part of that Wild West frontier known as the eBook Gold Rush that happened a few years ago. For about eight months I was making more money than I could imagine. It was great!

    I was this close (I’m holding my fingers really close together) to quitting my day job and diving into full-time writing. Good thing I didn’t. Because then the rules were changed by Amazon and other ebook retailers and that shit-volcano that Chuck Wendig speaks of started to erupt. Kindle Select meant every nimrod on the planet could put there work out there for free. Only for about five days, sure, but multiply that by a million self-published authors, and add in the fact that self-publishing blogs were talking about how “selling for free” gets your novel up the charts and you can’t lose and there’s exponential room for growth and blah blah blah. No one wanted to buy ebooks when they could get ebooks for free.

    The pyramid scheme crumbled. Well, it wasn’t exactly like a pyramid scheme, but it felt like it. My sales plummeted. Dropped to 10% almost overnight. Good thing I didn’t quit my job, right?

    Fast forward a few years and I’m still getting royalties off those ebooks, but at a fraction of what I was before. There was no end game in sight and I honestly expected to keep working full-time and writing part-time for a good long while.

    But I was laid off. Fired. Sent packing. Given the boot. Handed a pink slip. Shown the door. I was unemployed.

    Not good.

    What could I do? Get another customer service job? Nope, they don’t pay what I was making. Go back into sales and spend weeks away from the family? That’s not the husband and father I am. Return to food service and cook again? Makes even less than customer service.

    In short, I was fucked.

    Except I have an amazing wife that has faith in me and she decided I should make a go of writing full-time. She asked, and I quote, “If you write full-time can you get our income back to where it was?” I said, “Yes.”

    Another bam!

    Except I didn’t have the time to write (or finish) a manuscript, submit to my agent, and sit and wait months for responses from publishers. I needed income right away! So I emailed my publisher, Severed Press, to see if they had any work for hire jobs or anthologies that might pay. The answer, while being “no”, was better than I could expect.

    No work for hire, but they were looking for someone to write a zombie series that was Romero-esque. They would pay an advance and I would have some money coming in. I didn’t come up with the idea, it was given to me. But, being a collaborative type of personality, I brainstormed and came up with a a novel that would be true to the Romero style zombies (no gimmicks or fast ones or viruses) while also still being all Jake Bible.

    I look on that email as a writing prompt. As if someone said, “You have to use classic slow zombies, but also have a military element, scavenging, and survivors trying to deal with the apocalypse.” I looked back at Romero’s Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead movies and remembered the social satire and commentary those possess.What if I applied that to my novel? What could I comment on?

    Oh, right, the suburban silliness I deal with every single day.

    Z-Burbia was born.

    And the rest is history!

    But not quite. Why? Because small press advances do not an income make. I needed more. MORE!

    So I asked Severed if they needed anything else. They did. I looked over their ideas, sent them some of mine, and we went with what they thought they could sell. Let me say that again, because this is important, they went with what they thought they could sell.

    This is how publishing works, folks. If you think it is about “art” you are way the fuck off. It’s about commerce. I don’t care what publisher it is, they do not buy properties they don’t think they can sell. It’s that simple. Your novel may be genius, but if a publisher doesn’t know how to market or sell it then it will never see the light of day.

    Makes you wonder why there  are five million self-published books that no one has even heard of, huh? Oh, right, because there is no market for them! Publishing is not a “write it and they will come” business. It’s a “they want to read it, so we better find it, or have someone write it, so they will come” type of business. If you can’t handle that reality then do not try to hack it as a working writer. Do not even try.

    Which brings me to my next step.

    I also noticed that Permuted Press was picking up a ton of authors, many self-published, and that they were looking for YA and Teen horror. I had my YA zombie novel, Little Dead Man, just languishing in self-pub hell, hidden with all the other fifty million self-published works that Amazon’s algorithms made sure weren’t the first on their search results. (Don’t think they do that? Puh-leeeze.) I also had a finished Teen horror novel manuscript that needed a home. I sent an email, got a response, and we went from there.

    Oh, but let me backtrack a bit.

    During the talks with Severed, I came up with a pitch for a middle grade horror series called ScareScapes. It’s Goosebumps in space, basically, but with the Jake Bible twist. There’re cyborgs and shit. Severed passed since it wasn’t something they thought they could market well. See what I’m talking about? A successful publisher knows what works for them and what doesn’t. Severed Press doesn’t really do YA or Teen horror, Not because they don’t like it, or want to, but because it doesn’t sell for them.

    Are you catching on yet?

    The reason I wanted to do a middle grade horror series in the first place was for two reasons: the first being we have a lot of friends with younger children that asked if Z-Burbia was appropriate for elementary or middle school kids. It is not. Also, my daughter is eleven and she wanted to read my novels. But that wasn’t happening. Not yet.

    I came to the conclusion, after some market research, that the middle grade horror market was ripe for the picking! I knew one fellow author that was diving into it and I figured I could too. [side note: R.L. Stine has announced that he will be bringing his series, Fear Street, back. This is good for middle grade horror.] I reworked the pitch and sent it to Permuted and they said yes. Suh-weet!

    This meant I had contracts with Severed Press and Permuted Press. But, both being small presses, the advances weren’t going to get me a house in the Bahamas. So still had that good ol’  financial uncertainty looming  in just a couple of months.

    My novels for Severed were doing well and I was building a relationship with Permuted. These were things I could capitalize on. Because you strike while the iron is hot in publishing!

    Negotiations (and love songs?) ensued, numbers were thrown back and forth,and after it is all said and done, I will be writing novels from now through June 2015. One a month, to be exact. While being financially secure enough not to freak out every time I fill up my Jeep at the gas station.

    Triple bam!

    Why say all of this? Because I read and hear a lot of writers talk about the “art” of writing and how “real” writing can’t include “compromise”. I have also read where writers slam others for being prolific. “You can’t write a good novel in a month!” I have also had writers say certain POVs (first person) are shit writing. “It’s the lazy way to write!”

    Well, fuck and you, thank you very much.

    That’s just justification bullshit. That’s what writers say when they don’t have any self-confidence. That’s what writers say when they look for excuses as to why they aren’t doing what others are or don’t have what others have. It’s jealousy and it’s lame.

    I have confidence. Did I come up with some brilliant inspiration out of the blue? Was there a eureka moment? No. I had to have financial motivation. I had to be handed ideas that my publishers thought would fill the market and could sell. Then I took those ideas, those 100% market driven ideas, and made those bitches mine!

    Quadruple bam!

    Okay, okay, I’m done with the bamming. I want you to know I’m not trying to rub anyone’s face in success, simply because until I can take a breather and slow down to writing a novel a quarter, instead of every month, I don’t consider myself a success. What I’m trying to say is that writing is writing and if you want to make a living at it, a full-time living, then you have to be willing to play the game. You have to be willing to listen to those that watch the charts, study the numbers, talk to distributors, interact with readers, etc. You have to be willing, more than ever, to look at writing as a job.

    It’s a pretty fucking cool job, but it is still a job. You sit your ass down and you get the writing done. You don’t phone it in. You don’t sit on the couch watching Netflix for “inspiration”. You plop in front of your PC and/or Mac and you put in your time. Then you hand in your manuscript and do it all again.

    You never wait, you just do.

    So, in closing, my mateys, if you want to be a working writer and make a living at it then you have to not only look at the word “writing” you must also look at the word “working”. And if work was all fun and art and inspiration and glorious champagne parties and book releases and all that shit then it wouldn’t be called work, would it? To be a working writer you must be willing to go where the work is. Like I said before, and will say a billion times more, you have to look atwriting as a job. It’s that simple.

    Get your head out of the clouds, stop making excuses, reach out to people, talk to your connections, do the time, and get to work!

    That’s how you make it as a working writer.

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    A professional writer since 2009, Jake has a proven record of innovation, invention and creativity. Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Seven: Rant [REDACTED]

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    So, I had an entire post written Monday morning and ready to go. By Monday afternoon I’d deleted it. All of it. 1,200 words went bye bye.

    Why?

    Because I sounded like a douche. While the opinions may have been snarktacular, they were also just shitty. Don’t get me wrong, I totally agree with myself and believe the words I wrote, but they weren’t what I wanted to put out to the public.

    Again, why?

    Because my readers don’t all think like me. My colleagues don’t all think like me. Publishers don’t all think like me. The industry itself, whether trad or self, doesn’t think like me.

    And I could be wrong.

    That’s the big one there- I could be wrong.

    I made a lot of mistakes early in my writing career by shooting my self-righteous mouth off. I know I alienated some folks; folks that I looked up to and aspired to be. Looking back I can see why those folks stopped reaching out ot me. They didn’t want to get douche on their hands.

    This post is simply about taking some time and thinking before you post or blog or comment. Think whether or not your opinion actually adds something to the conversation or is just you mentally masturbating on Facebook. Also, think about what your opinion might mean to others. Will it hurt their feelings? Does it alienate them? Can it be looked back on as the reason why readers started giving you 1-star reviews?

    The internet is a funny, irrational place, so treat it that way. You may feel justified, but I can guarantee that 800 others feel justified against you. You can’t win on the internet, you can only lose.

    I have watched authors lately take up the pro/con argument for/against self-publishing. Nine times out of ten they sound like whiny putzes. Not all, mind you, just nine out of the ten. And I am counting both sides of the argument. Rare is the clear, fair voice that realizes something every professional writer should already know.

    What’s that, you ask? What should every professional writer know?

    That opinions are like assholes and you can’t bleach the stink away. Or everyone has got one. Pick an asshole metaphor and go with it.

    Professional writers should also know that there is no one path and that there is no one answer. Hell, there aren’t even 100 paths or answers. The number is infinite, those paths and answers. Each writer is completely different, so arguing what works and what doesn’t only applies to one person. That’s it. One person.

    That’s why I deleted my asshole, I mean, my opinion. It was jerky, snob-shite. Again, I believe every word, but it’s best left in my head. You don’t need to hear it.

    And before you go all, “Burn the witch!” on me and shit, please know I’m not saying writers shouldn’t contribute opinions. Just make them productive, not destructive. Add to the profession, don’t detract from it. Contribute.

    And, for the love of God, keep the one-eyed bleach monster in your jeggings, will ya? There are plenty of bleached assholes out there yammering away. I don’t need to be one of them. And you don’t either. Keep that thing in your pants. Trust me. Everyone will thank you for that.

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    A professional writer since 2009, Jake has a proven record of innovation, invention and creativity. Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Six: To Free Or Not To Free?

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    Today’s voyage takes us to the land of the free. No, no, we aren’t going to Sweden. Sorry. Nope, we are going to be talking about giving away work for free. Specifically, the idea that if you give your work away for free it will build your audience and create sales when you finally have something to offer for sale.

    Easy topic, right? Yeah…not so much.

    How about a little backstory?

    *Cue wavy lines and doodleoo-doodleoo-doodleoo sound effects*

    One night, as I was riding home from the Contessa’s party, I came upon a horribly disfigured man. This man… What? Oh, wrong backstory. My bad.

    I started my novel writing career by giving my fiction away as a free podcast. It was an easy choice for me since I was listening to a lot of free podcast novels. I learned a lot from the trailblazers like Scott Sigler, JC Hutchins, Mur Lafferty, and the other amazing writers in that community.  I was introduced to Evo Terra and Podiobooks.com. There was a sense that something revolutionary was happening with publishing and I wanted to be a part of that.

    With the support of some of the above mentioned authors, I was able to get the word out about my podcast novel and soon I had a serious following. It was amazing and I’ll always be grateful to those that gave me a helping hand when they didn’t need to at all. Their help put me on the map.

    And my goal, from the start, was to turn the momentum and success of my podcast into a publishing deal. I was able to do that with a small horror press. It was great.

    Then ebooks hit.

    Wow. The game changed. Everything changed.

    I watched the podcast community crumble. Podcasting was no longer the “only” form of distribution for an author trying to break into the publishing world. I watched authors that had been on top, having millions of downloads, hit brick walls.  Some quit, informing their audiences that they were no longer going to give their fiction away for free. They were skewered. It’s the internet, right? You skewer people if they don’t hold up to the expectations you have imposed on them in your brain. That’s what the internet does.

    I wasn’t any better. I skewered. Why? Because I had gotten wrapped up in the “cult” of free. That it’s more important as an author to give your audience what they want instead of getting what you want. That your audience has “made” you and you “owe” them free content FOREVER! Okay, okay, I’m going all hyperbolic and exaggerating. It wasn’t that extreme. Well, except that it was, in many ways.

    I made a lot of claims, I said a lot of things, I opened my mouth and stuck both feet in. Why? Because I lacked experience and the perspective that comes with that.

    So, ebooks. Let’s get back to that.

    They hit the world and all of a sudden authors such as myself could immediately publish our novels without waiting for “Big Publishing” to knock at our doors. We could go from podcast novel to published ebook (and print since POD expanded as well) in the blink of an eye. Amazing!

    Yeah, not so much. You see, free does not translate into sales. It doesn’t even follow the basic tenants of marketing which is a 10% return on investment (ROI). Let’s say I had 10,000 subscribers per month, which was my estimate at my podcasting peak, then it would stand to reason I’d be able to sell 1,000 ebooks. Right?

    Hahahahahahahahaha!

    It was more like a 1% ROI. If that. But, hey, maybe I wasn’t marketing well enough. Maybe I wasn’t getting my message out there since so many new writers had entered the podcasting sphere. Maybe I was getting lost in the noise.

    Okay, so write the next novel that the listeners are hungry for and get that out there. Bam! Bam? Bam…

    Plenty of downloads, almost no books sold. Poop. This free thing was starting to get a little suspect.

    So I took a break for a bit. I concentrated on writing ebooks under a pen name in a certain gold rush genre. I sold El Shit Ton of books. It was amazing. Then the rules changed and Amazon screwed up the party. Kinda like back in the ’80’s when the California real estate bubble burst and everyone realized that coke was burning holes in their sinuses. Party over.

    Time to dive right back into podcasting! Get that new novel out there and sell, sell, sell! I decided that I’d release the ebook first then podcast the novel to build interest in the ebook. Good strategy. Except it didn’t work. What I was hearing from fans wasn’t, “Great novel! Loved reading it”, but instead I heard, “Are you going to podcast it?” and “I like listening better than reading.” Or “You promised to podcast everything”.

    My personal favorite was “By not podcasting this first you don’t give your fans a chance to decide whether they like it or not. I don’t waste money on books I haven’t listened to first for free.”

    That’s an honest to God quote.

    Huh.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I had TONS of dedicated fans that bought my novels. THOSE FANS ARE THE BEST! I still chat with them on my website, on Facebook, on Twitter. Many have become actual friends. Seriously. I won’t list names, but if we’ve interacted in the last week then you are on the BEST list. You know who you are.

    I don’t want to sound ungrateful, completely the opposite. I am very grateful. For all of the exposure, the friendships made, the connections in the industry, the hard lessons learned. All of it. So very grateful.

    Yet, podcasting wasn’t my end goal and I realized it was getting in the way of said end goal. That goal? Get published and be a full time, successful writer. Not a full time podcaster. Podcasting doesn’t pay the bills.  So I quit.

    A year ago I walked away from podcasting. It was noticed in the community and I got skewered, just like the others that had quit before me. Many people wrote blog posts, or recorded podcasts, about me quitting and turned that into a rally cry to keep up the FREE! Free, free, free! Anything else but free was treason! TREASON! Again, being hyperbolic here. The treason comments were from a vocal minority. But they were vocal. And they had/have the right to be vocal.

    Oh, well, no worries. I now had the time to dive into writing and not worry about podcasting. The shift in focus changed everything. I was no longer a “podcast author”, but a writer. I was no longer beholden to download numbers that meant absolutely nothing. My time was all about words on paper, not words in Garageband.

    Why write this huge, rambling post about this?

    Because this weekend I cleared out my podcast feed of all free fiction. Wiped every single post away. Instead, my feed will now be dedicated to offering samples of my audiobooks (which fans can buy on Audible, Amazon, iTunes), essays when the mood strikes, and also other offerings. There could be interviews or readings or whatever. I do like the audio format, but it is now a compliment to my writing, just like my Facebook page or my Twitter account or this blog. Another way for me to interact with fans and readers, but not the only way.

    I am now a full time writer with contracts in place with two publishers. I crank out a novel a month. Yep. I am a writing machine. And I credit a lot of my success to quitting podcasting and getting my head out of the free model. Not because free is bad, but because it clouded my vision of who I was as a writer and where I wanted to go.

    Some of you have been reading this and are saying, “Oh, yeah? Well so and so turned their free novel into a huge publishing deal!” And “Blah blah author is now selling BILLIONS of ebooks a month after giving their work away for free!”

    Those are outliers.

    In fact, all success in all forms of media are examples of outliers. Let that sink in.

    The entertainment industry as a whole is not made up of successes, but of failures. Only an estimated 1 in 400,000 make it in entertainment. That includes agents, grips, editors, cover designers, extras, chorus line dancers, make-up artists, writers, gaffers, etc. You think you’ll be one of those lucky ones? Could be. But there are 399,999 other people that think so as well.

    Now, with that all said, am I condemning giving your writing away for free? Hell no! Seriously, I think it’s a great idea! You can build an audience, you can hone your craft, you can meet others and strike up life long friendships. Giving away your writing for free is a fine solution if you are just starting out. Way better than publishing straight to ebook. Don’t do that. Learn first. Get your shit in gear. Get feedback. Become the writer you want to be, not the writer you are trying to be. There’s a difference.

    So if you are going the free route, bully on you! Just understand that it is a step and a tool, not a career. And not a cult. Develop a plan for your free works. I have my Friday Night Drabble Party each week. I give away a 100 word story every Friday night. It’s easy to do and it helps me work on ideas I otherwise would let sit or forget about. I dig it. But it only takes up an hour of my time each week. Does it bring new readers/fans? Not a clue. That’s why I look at it from the practice/exercise perspective. It’s as much for me as it is for any readers out there.

    And there you go. My experience with free. It won’t be your experience, that’s for sure. We all live individual lives. We all have to choose our paths. Find yours and own it. Own it as in buy it, because nothing in this world is truly free, and if you own that then no one can take it away from you. Or something profound like that.

    Cheers!

    Oh, shit! I totally forgot to take us out of flashback mode!

    *Cue wavy lines and doodleoo-doodleoo-doodleoo sound effects*

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    A professional writer since 2009, Jake has a proven record of innovation, invention and creativity. Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Five: The Publishing Diner!

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    Today’s post will have a galley theme. In addition to the nautical theme, which, when you think about it, only lasts for the first few lines of the post. So let’s just go with the galley theme. Which, when you think about it, is actually still a nautical theme.

    REBOOT!

    Publishing is like the food service biz.

    There. That wasn’t so hard.

    I’ll let that metaphor sink in. Many of you will now start rolling that around in your brains, trying to find the weakness, but you will not! Find the weakness in the metaphor, that is. I can’t speak for any weakness in y’all’s brains. I mean, you do read my blog, so you’re pretty suspect from the beginning.  But as for the publishing as the food service biz? It’s a pretty solid metaphor.

    There have been lots of comparisons of publishing being like this or like that, but those have all fell short. Why? Because they are compare to something that is objective. Writing, like food, is 100% subjective no matter what side you are on, whether reader/eater or writer/cook.

    Food service has every conceivable variable you can think of, from concession stand nachos to 3-star Michelin restaurant. Maybe you write as a hobby (home cook) or make a living at it (line cook). You could be mid-list (Applebee’s manager) or blockbuster bestseller (Iron Chef). You could be a writer that writes in all genres (buffet style) or a only focus on one genre (burger joint). Maybe you love writing short stories (food cart)? Or you don’t consider a novel done unless it hits 200K words plus (12 course dinner)?

    Or as a reader you like only thrillers (spicy foods). Perhaps just some romance (wine and chocolate)? You like a little from this genre or from that genre (tapas!). Or dig the graphic novels (food trucks).

    Whatever your poison as a writer or reader you have an infinite amount to choose from. You can write/cook this or that; you can read/eat this or that. It’s all defined by skill level or palate. Maybe you mastered the art of the Philly cheese steak. Sweet. Or maybe you eat yogurt and a banana every single day for lunch. You write one series about ninja koalas from outer space. While your buddy reads only novellas set in the wilds of Nebraska circa 1837.

    Doesn’t matter, really. You get to write/cook whatever the hell you want. Same for readers/eaters.

    Do you get where I’m going with this? It all leads to one answer and one answer alone: quality is what matters. And quality is defined ONLY by personal taste. It’s subjective. You like what you like.

    I detest plain, raw tomatoes. Will. Not. Put. One. In. My. Mouth. I will eat a tomato with some salt and balsamic vinegar. Or on a sandwich with other stuff. Does that mean plain, raw tomatoes suck? To me, yes. To you? I don’t know. You tell me.

    I don’t really read fantasy. I watch it on TV and film, but I rarely get through a fantasy story or novel. Just doesn’t grab me. But does that mean George RR Martin isn’t any good? No.

    I love street food. Mmmmm, food trucks rock! Yet, they aren’t (usually) run by classically trained chefs. They are many times self-taught cooks that make what they are good at. Then perfect that. Great. Just like there are some self-published writers that have really nailed it. Good on them.

    What about Big Publishing? Is that like chain restaurants? It could be. And some of those are good. I totally dig a Chili’s black bean burger with chips and salsa on the side. It’s not going to change my life, but sure does hit the spot at times. Then again, I’ve had some crazy good food at Moe’s. I once had a burrito that was made by a true artist. Loaded with everything, all evenly spread, and in the perfect ratios. It was genius. At Moe’s.

    I could go on and on about the comparisons. No need, y’all are smart, I think you get what I’m saying. Each meal, like each book, is different.

    If you consistently get crappy meals from a place then you won’t go back; same with reading crappy novels. If a publisher/writer keeps sucking then you walk away. You probably tell others too. Which makes the metaphor just right: word of mouth. The food service industry, like the publishing industry, runs on word of mouth. You like it, you talk about it.

    Now, where does this leave self-publishing versus traditional publishing? It doesn’t. It’s a non-issue. Just like you could give a shit about what company made the tortilla that holds that fatty burrito together, you don’t give a shit what editor worked on the novel in your hands. You just want it to be good and worth the money you paid.

    And here is where the metaphor will disappoint those that thought this was a manifesto to be able to write/cook whatever you want and the reader/eater decides quality. There are standards. Typos are cockroaches. Bad prose is burnt food. A shitty book cover is never washing the grease off the front windows or a flickering neon sign that induces seizures.

    And do we need to get into the whole health code aspect? Sure, you can only eat grilled cheeses from the hippie in the Phish concert parking lot. Good luck with that. I’m not above it, but in general I spend money on something where I can see the health department rating displayed. The seafood joint got a C-? Fuck. That. I see anything less than an A- and I’m outta there. I don’t have the time or funds to be bothered with a sub-par product, whether food or writing.

    So what does this all mean for a writer? It’s pretty simple, actually. Writers these days have to think what they want to be. As a writer do you want be a 3-star meal or a grease soaked hamburger wrapped in yesterday’s newspaper? Do you want people’s palates to come alive or do you want to deaden their tastebuds? You have the power to be amazing, you have the power to shine, you have the power to get people to talk about what you put out there. It’s just a matter of what you want them to say.

    As for readers? Reviews! Ratings! You know how they influence you as a reader/eater. Just like when you find a great new cafe or diner, tell someone! Tell your friends, family, co-workers.  Do the Yelp thing for books and write a review on Amazon or B&N. Go on Goodreads and chat with others. Spread that word of mouth. And the same goes if you hate a book! Writers need to be told if their book is the equivalent of hospital food. They need the feedback so they grow, get better, change, understand that Jello is not a side dish for EVERY SINGLE MEAL!

    Okay, I have beat this dead horse of a metaphor into French hamburger meat. Do me a favor and after you read this keep looking for the weaknesses in the metaphor. I have been wracking my brain for the breakdown and alll I come up with are even more similarities. Plus, it’s a great exercise for understanding the infinite complexities of publishing. Just like food, there is, and never will be, any clear answer.

    Go forth, my hungry hordes! Choose an appetizer, a main course, a little dessert! And be honest when you are done!

    Bon appetit!

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    A professional writer since 2009, Jake has a proven record of innovation, invention and creativity. Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.