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Friday Night Drabble Party!

Yo! What’s up, Party People? You ready for some drabbletastic delights? Yeah, you are!

Of course, before we get to the 100 Words of Awesome, we must first explore all the goodness that has been delivered to the internet this week by yours truly. By me, in case the yours truly thing doesn’t translate to your culture/generation/species/etc.

A new Writing In Suburbia episode is up! Huzzah! In this episode I explore Two Questions With Patrick E. McLean. Y’all should check it out.

And I also uploaded a new video to my YouTube Writing Advice series. Checking that out is something else you should do. Right now. Go check it out. Do it. You wanna, you know it. Do it. Come on.

As always, I gotta shill me some Max Rage: Intergalactic Badass! If you haven’t read it then get on that! If you have read it then please leave a review! REVIEW!

Now, on with the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Not For Me
By
Jake Bible

Hailey studied the ancient inscription, staring at it for hours before finally uncurling her legs from under her to stand. The numbness that spread in her limbs threatened to topple her into the dirt and musky flowers that surrounded the broken idol.

“Miss?” Algernon asked. “Have you found what you seek?”

Hailey smiled a sad, knowing smile at her assistant.

“I did, Al,” Hailey said. “But what I found is not for me.”

Hailey picked up her bag, shooing Algernon’s hands away from the canvas sack, and hiked back into the jungle to reverse the trek she’d spent months taking.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: My leg’s asleep!

Writing In Suburbia #65: Two Questions With Patrick E. McLean!

Yes, there is a new episode out!

There’s always so much enthusiasm when releasing a new episode since they are so few and far between. Hope you dig this episode!

Today I bring you an interview I did with the highly talented writer, Patrick E. McLean. Not only does he write incredible novels (see show notes) but he’s done some pretty big copywriting for a few brands you may have heard of. Writing ain’t all about novels and short stories, y’all!

So, kick back and relax and get ready for a fun interview!

Enjoy!

Show notes-

Find out more about Patrick at patrickmclean.com

Books and stuffs mentioned:

Max Rage: Intergalactic Badass!

The Flipside

YouTube Writing Advice Series

Four Weeks To Finished: How To Stop Making Excuses, Start Being Prolific, And Finish Your Novel!

Theme music: “Whiskey on the Mississippi” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

Subscribe:

RSS- http://jakebible.libsyn.com/rss

iTunes- https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/writing-in-suburbia/id334464270?mt=2

Stitcher- http://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=87204&refid=stpr

Spotify- https://open.spotify.com/show/5J5PX5frxFe6zl6Y95N2Gl?si=QV1GMwWtQuSJCKeZeRnJhA

Google Play- https://goo.gl/app/playmusic?ibi=com.google.PlayMusic&isi=691797987&ius=googleplaymusic&link=https://play.google.com/music/m/Iscihk5id2ycdkzq4cykwnf4kre?t%3DWriting_In_Suburbia

Friday Night Drabble Party!

YOU! YES, YOU!

Hold on, let me turn the volume down… There we go. Let’s try this again…

You!  Yes, you! You have not purchased Max Rage. I am disappointed. It’s great. The perfect summer fun read. All kinds of action and adventure, foul language and sex, many a pun and bad joke. Get on it!

Here is a picture to click to assist you in your purchasing of Max Rage: Intergalactic Badass!

Now, I bet you want a drabble? Huh? Did you click the pic and buy Max Rage? I’ll wait. I have all the time in the world.

 

 

Ready?

Okay, on with the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Stupid Apocalypse
By
Jake Bible

“All eighty-five dead!” Wilson called out from the bottom of the chasm. “Eighty-five!”

Melors and Ralf stared down into the darkness while Crispin shook his head.

“Melors?” Crispin asked. “You ready?”

“Eighty-five, man,” Melors replied.

“It’s what you’re here for,” Ralf said.

“I know!” Melors shouted then calmed herself. “I know. But eighty-five? That’s a lot of meat.”

“We didn’t chase them here to take their wallets,” Crispin said. “You’re the professional butcher.”

Melors looked to Ralf, but he couldn’t meet her eye.

“Stupid apocalypse,” Melors muttered, stepping onto the chasm’s rope ladder. “I miss McDonalds.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: You know what to do!

 

 

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Yo! Welcome to the Friday after 4th of July!

For those not in the US of A, we call this Friday “Stop shooting off fireworks, you dumb redneck sons of bitches!”.

Speaking of sons of bitches, how about that Max Rage, right? He’s one badass SOB! Hell, he’s so badass he’s Intergalactic!

But, despite being an Intergalactic Badass, Max Rage needs your help! The ebook is hovering in the charts. Not going up, not going down, just hovering. If y’all could buy a copy and give a little nudge, that’d be awesome. And, if you’ve already bought the ebook then please leave a review! Reviews are the lifeblood of authors!

Now, click the giant pic and get you some Max Rage: Intergalactic Badass!

Did ya click? I sure hope so. I sure hope so…

Drabble time!

Enjoy!

***

How Droll
By
Jake Bible

Kitteridge never met a fight he didn’t want to join.

So, upon seeing the melee occurring just outside the door to his hotel, Kitteridge simply could not help himself.

The first person he encountered tried to snap his wrist. Kitteridge was having none of that. A strike to the throat brought a slow death.

The second person had a weapon. A lead pipe. Kitteridge found this infinitely amusing and laughed as he took the pipe and crushed the man’s head.

The third person had a pistol. He shot Kitteridge.

“A pistol. How droll,” were Kitteridge’s last words.

How droll indeed.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Did ya click?

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Oh, hello!

I am so glad you made it past the swamp monster, climbed the trellis of really sharp thorns, fought the mugwomp, and leapt over the fire of questionable heat! Sorry for all the security measures, but you gotta protect against so many trolls these days, am I right?

Hey! You know who doesn’t need protection? MAX RAGE: INTERGALACTIC BADASS!

The reviews are coming in and folks are loving them some Rage!

This was a fun, raunchy, kick arse book…..plain and simple.

This was such a fun read!!

Max Rage doesn’t disappoint! From beginning to end, the storyline is chalk-full of action, violence, coarse language, and a fair amount of hilariously random farting.”

I’m super proud of the random farting. 🙂

Get Max Rage: Intergalactic Badass now!

Now, on with the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

First Step
By
Jake Bible

“First step skipped. Third gate on the right. Duck.”

Lionel held the weathered piece of paper and read the line of instructions over and over, the dark tunnel waiting before him. Lightning flashed over the snow capped mountains far behind. Five seconds later, thunder rolled, shaking the air and making Lionel jump.

“Ok. I can do this. Just follow the instructions and I’ll be fine.”

He knelt and made sure his boot laces were tied tight then stood again, sighed, and walked into the tunnel.

He screamed the entire three hundred feet down.

He forgot to skip the first step.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: You can’t run from the Rage!

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