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Friday Night Drabble Party

The first Friday of October! Oh, let the Party begin!

I do love this month. Halloween and my birthday. I turn the big Four-Oh this month. Forty years of awesome! You know what else is awesome? The Friday Night Drabble Party! It’s true! And this month, each Friday will have some type of horror element. Not precisely Halloween themed, but close enough for horseshoes and beta releases.

So get to reading this week’s Drabble!

(PS- If you’re shopping for my birthday I prefer bourbon. I also like hats. I’m a bald man turning forty, so yes, I will wear them with irony.)

Enjoy!

***

A Snapshot of Violence

By

Jake Bible

The teeth flew from his mouth like streamers from a New Year’s Eve cracker. Bits of enamel like confetti; spittle like glitter. His head rocked to the side, all slow-motion and drama. Sweat exploded from his damp hair, spraying across the wall, filling the space between the splatters of blood. His legs went weak, his knees buckled, his hands reached behind him for something steady, something solid, substantial; the opposite of his mental state. He couldn’t open his eyes anymore; he couldn’t see the next hit. Or the next one. Or the next. Then, thankfully, it was over and done.

***

Disclaimer: I call them crackers, you call them poppers, either way they still go boom and spray paper and crap everywhere while making the dogs hide under the table.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Who’s ready to get down on the get down? Who’s ready to Party like it’s 2999? There will be jetpacks!

I have a Drabble in my post and its happy to see you!

Enjoy!

***

Video Games Kill!

By

Jake Bible

“The jump is too far!” Harold screamed. “I’ll never make that!”

“Come on, dude,” Clint smirked. “You just have to go all the way back, get a good start, run your ass off then jump at the very last second. Just like on level three of Super Jump Man.”

“Impossible!”

“No, it’s not. You got this.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

Harold stood at the far edge, took several deep breaths then ran. His arms pumped, his legs bunched. He jumped! And fell.

“Huh,” Clint said, looking over the edge of the building at his friend’s mangled corpse. “Video game physics totally lied.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Kids are dumb.

A Brief Brief on Jake Bible Fiction

Howdy, Folks!

So some of you may have heard through my ramblings on various venues that I am now writing full time. This is most excellent. And 100% terrifying. No safety net (i.e. income) to catch me if I fail. But, as my wife and I have discussed, there is a shit ton of faith in this house! Take that however you want according to your personal philosophy, but I am a HUGE believer in the power of positive thought/prayer when it comes to getting through life. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be where I am with the amazing family I have and the amazing life I have.

But, the point of this post is to give a brief rundown of where things stand with Jake Bible Fiction. Here we go!

1. Natural Born Cyborgs– This is still happening! But due to my writing full time, I’ve had to set it off to the side so I can focus on projects that pay right now. Sorry. For those of you that have backed the project I will be sending y’all an email update with some very cool news. Very cool news. This will be WAY better than a Kickstarter or Indiegogo crowd funded project. But more on that later. Just know you will be very happy. Want in on the happiness? Then get to backing! Natural Born Cyborgs

2. The Apex Trilogy– Severed Press has done a wonderful job with the re-release of the Apex Trilogy. I know quite a few of you have asked how you can get signed copies of the new versions. I’ll be putting those back up for sale soon. The trick is international shipping. I don’t want to gouge folks, but then again I can’t take a loss on the sale in order to keep shipping costs down. If you are outside the US and still want copies, just know that the shipping will cost as much as the books. Sorry.

3. Audiobooks– Speaking of the Apex Trilogy, I do plan on re-recording the entire series and producing and releasing them as audiobooks. For those that have been waiting on Metal and Ash this is good news. Soon your earholes will be assaulted by the finale in the series. And by soon I mean…sometime in the future. You all know I quit podcasting my novels because of the intense amount of time it takes to put it all together. Same time issue with audiobooks. I have a couple projects I have to finish before I can sit down in front of the mic. But that time will come!

4. New Projects– While I can’t really talk about all the new projects I have in the works, the one I can talk about is my new straight up zombie series: Z-Burbia! I just sent in the manuscript to Severed Press and hopefully we’ll see a release in the next couple months. This is not a genre mash up. This is old school, Romero-esque zombies. The setting is in a subdivision just outside Asheville, NC. Write what you know! There is plenty of action, gore, zombies, and my personal favorite, CANNIBALS! Man, I do love me some cannibals. I should think of doing just a cannibal series. Hmmm… Anyhoo, you all will love this. I think the snark level I bring to this novel is my highest yet. How can you set the zombie apocalypse in a subdivision without some serious satire? You can’t!

5. Little Dead Man– I am bringing this novel up because it is getting close to Halloween. And this would make the perfect Halloween gift for your zombie loving teen or for yourself! What? You don’t give out Halloween gifts? For shame, people. For. Shame. Here’s the thing about Little Dead Man: it’s a freaking great novel. I have heard nothing but great feedback on this guy. It is the novel that got me a literary agent, folks. Worried because it’s YA that it won’t be your cup of tea? Don’t be! It has all of the Jake Bible elements! Zombies, cannibals, arena battles to the death (TO THE DEATH!), scavengers, mystery, action action action, shotguns, cannibals (yes, I said it twice), and, most of all, the completely original idea of having the protagonists be conjoined twins! One is a full grown seventeen year old boy, the other is his undead infant brother attached to the top of his spine! COME ON! That’s gold, people! So check it out, buy it, read it, love it! I know you will!

6. Cons– I plan on doing way more cons in 2014. Do you have a local one you like? Then send them my info! While I want to do more cons, they can be expensive. Right now I am looking at cons that invite me as a guest. This helps with expenses considerably. So go bug your local con and tell them they need some Jake Bible tainting their convention floor. I’d love to be able to meet more of you in person!

7. The Future– The future is good for Jake Bible Fiction. Audiobooks, a new series (maybe more), possibly getting into the gaming industry, Natural Born Cyborgs, and so much more! I am truly honored and blessed to be where I am right now. I have each and every one of you to thank for this. Couldn’t be here without you. So reach out, let me know what’s on your mind, what you like about Jake Bible Fiction and what you don’t, let me know what you’d like to see more of. Let’s chat. I know there are writers out there that aren’t very accessible, but I’m not one of those. You want to talk? I’m sitting right here in my captain’s chair at my desk. No, seriously, I have a captains chair. I dig it very much. Email, comment, tweet, FB message me, post on my wall, send carrier pigeon, whateves. I’ll be waiting!

That’s about it, folks. There is more, but I wanted to get this out there so y’all know what is going on. I’ll certainly try to keep the updates coming more frequently. But let’s not make this a one way street. Reach out if you want. I’m here.

Chat soon.

Cheers!

-Jake

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Kapow! That’s right, the Party is back for another Friday adventure in Drabbletastic goodness!

DRABBLETASTIC!

I have a few coals in the fire that I’ll be announcing soon, but y’all will just have to wait patiently. PATIENTLY!

Until then how about reading a drabble? Yes? Excellent…

Enjoy!

***

Team Work

By

Jake Bible

Curled about a tree, a snake sighs.

“I wait, I strike, I eat, I shit,” the snake says. “Repeat.”

“Not about fun,” the squirrel above him chatters. “Gotta work! Gotta set those nuts aside. Gotta dig, dig, dig. CAR! Gotta watch for cars!”

“Work is hard,” the snake says.

“No, it’s easy!”

“Show me.”

“What?” the squirrel asks. “Show you? How?”

“Come here.”

“No way!” the squirrel laughs. Just before it is swallowed by the snake on the tree limb behind it.

“I call dibs on the tree next time,” the snake below says.

“Deal,” the snake above replies. “Burp.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: CAR!

Jake on The Funky Werepig!

Hey, y’all!

Here is an interview I did on The Funky Werepig bat the end of July. It was a blast so have a listen!

Cheers!

The Funky Werepig- Jake Bible

It will also be in my iTunes feed, so be sure to subscribe there. “What?”, you ask, “But you stopped podcasting. ” Never say never people. Never say never…

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