Jake Bible Fiction

  • Of Mechs And Zombies- Why Having Fun Is The Most Important Thing Ever In The History Of Things That Are Important

    Warning: Profanity ahead! Don’t read this to your kids. If you are a kid, don’t read it (which means you will). If you are a parent and don’t like your kids reading profanity then stop wasting time here, Goodie Smith, and get back to your witch burning. Sheesh.

    Monday night I hit a double feature of Pacific Rim and then World War Z. The bliss, oh, the sweet, sweet bliss.

    Before we go into the movies, you should read this post of mine from a few weeks back It’s Okay To Have Fun Just Because!

    All done? Good. Now you get where I’m coming from as you read this.

    There have been plenty of people smarter than me that have reviewed/examined Pacific Rim. Find them, read them, stalk them. No, no, don’t stalk them. (Stalk them…) I’m not going to go in depth about the story or characters or plot or blah-blah-blah. No point.

    Why? Because Pacific Rim is just plain fun! I don’t care about the holes in the science (there are plenty). I don’t care about some of the cardboard characters (cardboard is a necessary part of life or pizzas would be delivered on the bare backs of zit covered teen slaves. Or something like that…). I won’t go into the fact that- OH, IT’S JUST FUCKING FUN! FUN, FUN, FUN!

    HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE ROBOTS FIGHT HUGE, GIANT MASSIVE MONSTERS THAT COME OUT OF A CRACK IN THE OCEAN! FUCK PLOT! FUCK CHARACTERS! FUCK CARDBOARD (Hello? Yes, I need a large cheese with extra cheese and a side of melted extra cheese)! I could give two shits and a titty fuck (which is the Papa John’s Friday night special, by the way) about blah-blah-blah when HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE ROBOTS FIGHT HUGE, GIANT MASSIVE MONSTERS THAT COME OUT OF A CRACK IN THE OCEAN!

    That’s why you should go see the movie. That’s my endorsement. It looks awesome, the acting is great, it’s funny (Charlie Day and Ron Perlman. Nuff said) and HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE ROBOTS FIGHT HUGE, GIANT MASSIVE MONSTERS THAT COME OUT OF A CRACK IN THE OCEAN!

    I mean, come on, that’s why I wrote DEAD MECH. I wanted to write a fun novel where massive battle robots crush zombies and where zombies pilot massive battle robots and crush people. Then eat them. I wasn’t going for Crime and Punishment, y’all. I was going for what I thought was fun and hoped others would think the same thing.

    Good shit, yo.

    Now, to switch gears and move to World War Z. It is not the same as the novel. In fact, only the title is the same. That’s it. But, who cares? It’s a great movie! And, AND, it’s not an action movie!

    Whoa… What did he just say?

    I SAID, it’s not an action movie. Yes, there is a ton of action. Yes, there are Navy Seals and Special Forces and Israeli paramilitary troops and zombies go SUPER FUCKING FAST and climb shit and mow people down like a Black Friday sale at Wal-Mart, but it is not an action movie.

    Why? Because the main character is not an action hero. He’s a thinker. He’s a guy dropped into the middle of hell because he is an investigator. He uses guns at times, even tosses a couple grenades, but that’s because it’s the SMART thing to do, not because he needs to go all BANG-BANG, SPLOOSHY ZOMBIE HEAD DIE BITCHES DIE ONE LINER HERE WE COME. Not because of that. No, he observes the insanity and is able to pierce the fear and chaos to find the answers needed to stop the zombie hordes. That’s good shit.

    Don’t like Brad Pit? Then don’t go see the movie because he’s in almost every single frame. And he does a great job. I believed his character. I believed his motivation. I believed he would do whatever it took to get the answers. So, I guess he is an action hero OF THE MIND!

    World War Z has plenty of scares, plenty of gore, and sweet, sweet zombie action. If you like zombie movies then go see this one. It is not a re-hash of everything else. It’s more like if you dropped Brad Pit into a smart BBC crime drama and gave it a $200 million dollar budget. That’s my kinda zombie flick. And it is still very fun!

    That’s my two cents on a couple of blockbusters out there right now. If you can, go see them both. Preferably back to back. You’ll get your peanut butter and then your chocolate and then you will be all, “Peanut butter. Nomnomnom. Chocolate. Nomnomnom.” Or something like that…

    Cheers!

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    And the Drabble Party is back! Had to take a week off last week due to family visit, but tonight you get your free 100 word fix!

    And that’s not all! After the drabble is Team Long Shot’s 48 Hour Film Project “Not Again”. We won Audience Award- Group A and also Best Editing. Huzzah! It was a blast and a HUGE thank you to all of our supporters!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Fighting The Future Ignorance
    By
    Jake Bible

    Gagging, drowning, feeling the weight of the world as the jet of water streams up his nose, pounding his sinuses, choking his throat. He spins about and ducks his head, but is met with the end of a nightclub, nightstick, billyclub, baton, violence in a wicked grip.

    He doesn’t give up; none of them do. They fight on, moving forward, moving to truth, moving to reality that is only a few concrete steps away.

    The child, the children, cry out as the beatings continue; the water hoses continue; the mad dogs attack; they don’t stop.

    The library is so close.

    ***

    And now….

    Disclaimer:  I make no claims. Deal.

  • DEAD MECH and the Apex Trilogy

    Many of you may know, but many more may not, that Severed Press has picked up the entire Apex Trilogy!

    They will be re-releasing DEAD MECH, The Americans, and Metal and Ash this summer. The ebook for DEAD MECH should be up for sale by this weekend (July 5th), with the others following soon. The print books take a little longer due to formatting, printing, etc. But ebooks, yay!

    And I get to show you the new cover for DEAD MECH:

    DEADMECH9x6

    I posted it super big so you could see the coolness. Now, I am a HUGE fan of the original cover, but when switching to Severed we needed to make sure to differentiate between the two releases. That means if you have the original it is now a collectors’ item! Um, if there are collectors out that collect my stuff. Sure there are!

    How is this version different? Everything is the same except for some serious line edits and proofreading. Not that the first one was a jumbled mess of Esperanto, but the editing (while professional) wasn’t tight. This manuscript is tight. TIGHT! The same treatment will be given to The Americans and Metal and Ash.

    So be on the lookout for the announcement of the re-release of DEAD MECH! Spread the word, get a copy with the new cover, tell your friends, buy fifty paperbacks and chuck them at strangers while screaming, “Eat that, deader scum!”. Or something along those lines.

    I will keep you posted as it all progresses to glory! GLORY!

    Cheers!

  • Three Book Deal With Severed Press!

    So I am pretty freakin’ stoked to announce that the Severed Press has picked up the Apex Trilogy!

    That’s right, folks, DEAD MECH, The Americans, and Metal and Ash will be re-born and re-released into the world! Severed Press is a small horror press that is making great strides in the publishing industry. Based in Australia, they have released some great horror fiction by authors such as Wrath James White, Tim Curran, and Eric S. Brown. They plan on updating the covers (So cherish the versions you have now! Collectors’ items!) and getting the entire trilogy out into the world again this summer (or winter down under).

    Why, you ask? Why go with a publisher when I have already self-published the series? Simple: I don’t like being a publisher. You know how I walked away from podcasting because of the time thing? Apply that to self-publishing. It takes a lot of time and energy and makes a writer a bit schizophrenic. I would much rather go with a publisher, even a small press like Severed, and let them deal with all the headaches of editing, formatting, cover design, proofing. I need time to just focus on writing. This doesn’t mean I’m not still self-publishing Natural Born Cyborgs. I am. It just means that the Apex Trilogy will have better exposure to publications and reviewers and I’ll have more time to focus on Natural Born Cyborgs since I won’t be as busy trying to hustle and pimp the Apex Trilogy.

    But rest assured that my hustling and pimping days are not over. Hell no, yo! I am a writer in the 21st century. I’ll be pimping the shit out of the Apex Trilogy! But I’ll have a publisher in my court, getting my back, on my side, another colloquialism, which is nice. Being solo is lonely. Sure, there are indie groups I could align with, but so many are reactionary and divisive. I’m just not that guy. This is writing, people, not the bloody French Revolution. No one’s lives are at stake, despite the hyperbole by the extremists on both sides of publishing.

    Which brings me to this: there are no sides in writing. It isn’t Us vs. Them. It isn’t Big vs. Indie/Self/Martyr. It isn’t about who gets the best percentage of royalties, or whether or not you have control over edits and cover. It’s about the writer and the reader. With this deal I get to reach more readers and spread the fun that is the Apex Trilogy. It’s like I’m Jakey Writerseed spreading my wonderful word herpes across the land! Across the WORLD! WORD HERPES FOR ALL!

    Ok, that was a bit much even for me.

    The bottom line is I will have all the privileges that go with being published. I want to expose more readers to my word herpes, I, Uh, need to stop saying that. I want to expose… Maybe not use the word expose? I want the Apex Trilogy to find new readers and to make a bigger impact in fiction than it has. I want it to gain more attention so maybe when it comes time to launch the comic book series, or a movie producer comes sniffing around, it will have a strong enough name as a franchise to get the dues it deserves.

    It isn’t about me, it’s about you- the reader. It’s about you- the fans. It’s about bringing the series to life in a way it hasn’t been fully able to under my watch. It’s about letting someone else be a cheerleader for a time.

    So, whoop, there it is. I am going to be an officially published author with all the treasure and warts that come with that. It may also mean my local bookstore will return my emails. Snobby bastards…

    Anyhoo, be on the lookout for more announcements about the release dates. And spread the word!

    Cheers!

  • It’s Okay To Have Fun Just Because!!!

    Howdy!

    I am essentially hedonistic in nature. I’ll admit that. Basically, if it isn’t fun I’m not going to do it (excluding the life necessities that keep my family alive and stuff like that.)

    But, due to the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON OF GIANT BLOCKBUSTER FILMS, there are a lot of people on the MIGHTY INTERNET that seem intent on not only having zero fun, but of mocking and shaming folks because they did have fun. It’s getting bad, people. B-A-D spells moon bad. So for today’s post I figured I’d talk about having fun for fun’s sake!

    I’m also going to say something that could hurt me in the online community: I’m not a geek. Now, I am using the stereotyped geek definition here, not the carnival freak that bites the heads off chickens. I am one of those (just kidding…?). I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a geek, not at all! Let your geek flag fly! I wouldn’t have readers or listeners without the wonderful people that have embraced my fiction. Y’all rock!

    I’m also not denying I don’t have one foot firmly planted in the geek world. I’d be lying if I said that. I’d also be lying if I didn’t admit to my years of D&D and MERP late nights. Plus, my comic book collection. And, my… Hmmmm, maybe I doth protest too much? I guess I’m really saying if I found myself in a geek throwdown I’d be handed my butt in two seconds. I know a lot, but I’m just not quite obsessive enough (Obsessive? Is that the right word?) to be considered a full blown geek. What I can say with certainty is that I am not anywhere close to a specific type of geek. You know the type of geek I’m talking about: the one that has difficulty actually enjoying anything they watch/read/listen to without tearing it apart.

    I just don’t get that mindset. I can’t go there.

    To explain why I don’t get it, let me talk about me some more because you all want to hear about me. I know I do.

    I love scifi. Always have. I love all the genres, really. From comedy (Eureka style) to full on gut gripping terror (Event Horizon), I dig it all. Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t tell the difference between bad scifi and good scifi. Bad scifi is half of what Hollywood puts out, while good scifi is Joss Whedon, Battlestar Galactica, Orphan Black (and many others). But, I appreciate fun scifi most of all. If I am having a good time watching/reading/listening to something then that is all that matters. I do not care that the core processor being used would never be able to fire up the sub-space uberdrive’s dimensional potential because it can only process 100 TBs per millisecond. That makes no difference to me as long as the story is fun. Why doesn’t it make a difference? Because it’s science fiction! None of it is real! None of it! It’s a made-up story in a world that doesn’t exist. Even the “realistic” science-based scifi is still fiction. And all of that goes for  horror, fantasy, comic books and their adaptations on the big and small screen as well. It isn’t real and there are no rules when something isn’t real.

    Of course, if something sucks (like really, really, really sucks) then it isn’t going to be fun.

    Except… The cheese!

    Now, I am using the cultural entertainment definition of cheese, not the dairy-based foodstuffs definition (but I do love that foodstuffs!). I am a HUGE fan of cheese! I love the “so bad, it’s good” scifi out there. I mean the SyFy channel cranks that out by the buttload and I just can’t keep up. I don’t even try anymore. One of my favorite memories of my childhood was the first time I ever saw Plan 9 From Outer Space on late night cable. Oh, the joy! It was so incredibly bad that even as a small child I could see the flaws. But, man, was it fun to watch! The horrible acting, the non-existent sets beyond cardboard and curtains, the flying saucers with the strings showing! Perfection! My son and I talk about this movie constantly with great fondness. It is a masterpiece.

    Take everything I have said above and apply it to all genres and you know how I roll. I like to have fun and I refuse to pick something apart just to pick it apart. Why even watch/read/listen to anything if you aren’t even going to try to enjoy it?

    This is why I doubt you will ever see me review anything or really even comment about it. I just can’t get to that place. I can have a good hearty discussion like the next person and I do have strong opinions about certain pieces of work (I can never get the two and a half hours back that I wasted watching Titanic in the theater. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it). But, who the heck am I to say what is good and what isn’t? I’m a writer and I know how those reviews feel.

    So, if you take anything from this post, let it be that it is okay to have fun! It is okay to enjoy yourself even if the movie/book/TV show/podcast isn’t perfect or as good as you thought it should be OR as good as someone else thought it should be! You don’t have to justify your enjoyment, you don’t have to worry that you will be thought less of, you don’t have to worry at all! Don’t be afraid to taste the cheese! Don’t be afraid to enjoy something without a care in the world what other people think!

    Sometimes, almost ALL the time, it’s just better to have FUN for FUN’S sake!

    And with that I leave you this!

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: This is a generalization! I am not saying all geeks argue the details, thus ruining the entertainment value of a product. I’m just saying, well, you know what I’m saying and you know the type I’m talking about. If you don’t know what I’m saying and want to argue about this then please re-read my post. Thanks!