Jake Bible Fiction

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    While you be readin’, I’ll be grillin’! It is Friday, after all.

    Welcome to the Party!

    Ready for tonight’s Drabble? Yes? Then let’s jump right in!

    BUT, before you do, have you read this? RIGHT HERE!

    Now, on to the Drabble!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Market Value
    By
    Jake Bible

    The stain would never leave; not any amount of washing could remove the dark red from the carpet.

    Not even removing the carpet itself.

    “Interesting manifestation,” Dr. Carlmonder stated, mentioned, observed. “How soon between removal and its reappearance?”

    “A day. Two at the most,” Mrs. Billwager said. “I have scrubbed and scrubbed, washed and washed, vacuumed and vacuumed. The carpet has been replaced three times this year alone. I’ll never be able to sell this house and move with this abomination appearing. It’s ruining my market value.”

    “Hmmm,” Dr. Carlmonder pondered, puzzled, thought. “Have you thought about trying hardwood flooring?”

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Full disclosure is required in all real estate transactions.

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Friday has risen and it is hungry for Drabbles!

    Good thing I have one for it tonight. You’ll be able to read it below before it is devoured.

    I also have many more drabbles for Friday in the form of One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short. This is currently free on Amazon! Go get yourself a copy. Have your friends, family, neighbors, enemies get a copy too! If we get it into the Top Ten of any bestseller list on Amazon then I will record it and put it in the audio feed. That means you can buy it and not even have to read it yourself! ALL FOR FREE! What a country!

    So get to that.

    And now for tonight’s Drabble…

    Enjoy!

    ***

    The Problem
    By
    Jake Bible

    The split up the backside of her jeans wasn’t the problem; being larger than most girls she’d split her seat plenty of times before.

    The entire cafeteria laughing wasn’t the problem; she’d dealt with that many times.

    The laughter by the football team, especially her secret crush, wasn’t the problem either; he was the star quarterback and she knew she never had a chance.

    The building rage that boiled over and turned into a blinding, murderous wave of energy wasn’t the problem; that was pretty cool, actually.

    No, the problem was: what would she do with all the bodies?

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: At no point do I condone mass murder by telekinesis.

  • The Next Way To Publish- Update and Thoughts, Part 8908625236.3

    Okay, so maybe I haven’t had that many parts to my updates. Probably closer to 75614562354.1. But that’s just a guess.

    So, how have you been? Good, good… Me? Been fine. Been busy. Busy, busy, busy. Busy.

    Busy with what you ask? Oh, writing the comic book scripts for DEAD MECH. Writing episodes of Big Box Blood Bath for serial release soon. Finishing a novel under a pen name. And watching the progress of the pre-order of Natural Born Cyborgs.

    Have you heard of it? No? Well, here it is!

    Natural Born Cyborgs–
    The techno-virus used by the Three hundreds of years ago has mutated and combined with BC (biochrome) to create a generation of natural born cyborgs- part biorganic metal, part human. Society decides these Splicers, as they are called, are too dangerous to let live and rounds them up for extermination. Those not found must hide their true natures and fight for their lives. And the lives of those yet born.
    Set in the same universe as DEAD MECH, but hundreds of years after the events in the Apex Trilogy, Natural Born Cyborgs is the first in the Splicer Wars series of novels that introduce the world to the new MechPunk style of science fiction- raw, unrelenting, brutal, and shiny.

    You like? I know ya do! I bet you wish you could read this right now! I know ya do! I KNOW EVERYTHING! Well, everything in my head. I know all of that. ALL OF THAT!

    But, seriously, how about those Pacers, eh? What? Oh, right, Natural Born Cyborgs. While I hate to take you away from this post you should click here to see what’s going on with this crazy pre-orderpalooza. Right…HERE!

    Cool, right? RIGHT?! Right…

    I have had a few pre-orders, a flurry in the beginning, but it has slacked off. So this post is for all of you folks that haven’t pre-ordered. Go pre-order. Do it now. NOW! Thanks.

    And for all of you that have already pre-ordered, here is a reminder: I don’t start writing the novel until I hit the minimum funding of $2000. We are 10% there. I know, I know, only 10%. But that’s to be expected. Hard to keep that momentum going day in and day out. That’s where I need your help, if you are so inclined. Spread the word. Tell your friends. Post on the Facebookerybookerbook. Tweet like your taint is on fire. Do all of that stuff.

    The sooner we hit $2000 in funding (like how I said ‘we’ there?) the sooner I start writing this bad boy!

    And here is the cool part: I may post rough draft samples along the way! Just some excerpts here and there to whet your whistle if your whistle needs whetting. Like this one!

    “The fire ball erupted all bout them, engulfing exposed skin in a blanket of heat and pain. The oxygen was ripped from their lungs and they lay singed and wounded on the deck of the transport car like forgotten goldfish dropped from a toddler’s hands.”

    Who is on the deck? Why is there a fireball? Who the hell lets toddlers handle goldfish? So many questions and the way to get the answers is to back Natural Born Cyborgs. So get to gettin’ to that. I promise you won’t be disappointed. I PROMISE!

    Cheers!

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Another Friday, another Party!

    You like the drabbles, huh? Do ya, huh? Oh, I know ya do!

    So how about we just get to it, eh? Just dive right into tonight’s 100 words, huh? You like that? Do ya?

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Digging Began…
    By
    Jake Bible

    The photos were posted at 8:53pm on May 23rd, 2013. They were shared by several students for the next two hours before they went viral.

    Tina found out at 12:47am on May 24th, 2013. Her first reaction wasn’t shock or embarrassment, but pure rage. Sweet, homicidal rage. If her father saw those pictures…

    The plan was devised at 3:25am on May 24th, 2013. Tools were bagged; duct tape and plastic were bagged; shovel was obtained.

    The photos’ hard drive disappeared at 6:13am May 24th, 2013. The hard drive’s owner disappeared minutes later.

    Digging began at 8:32am on May 24th, 2013…

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Bullying is bad. Murder is just as bad. Except when…

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Friday! Night! Drabble! Party!

    Free 100 word fiction for your eyeholes to see and your brainpan to loooooove! LOVE THEM!

    Hey! Did you know I have more drabble goodness published? If you love the Party then you’ll love these!

    C-Notes: A Collection of 100 Drabbles

    One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short

    Have a look, have a read, enjoy!

    ***

    Never Admit To A Job
    By
    Jake Bible

    The cigarette burned until it was nothing but ash. Carlotta didn’t care, she just lit another and placed it between Dirk’s lifeless fingers.

    “So, like I was saying,” Carlotta continued, far from finished with her post-assassination narrative. “It wasn’t anything personal. Just business.” The door opened and Carlotta turned to face her boss and his assistant. “He’s all yours. Don’t kill him until I’m gone.”

    And she left, leaving the assistant puzzled. “Don’t kill him? The guy’s missing half his face.”

    “She never admits to a job,” the boss replied. “Ever.”

    The assistant shrugged and started to pour the gasoline.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: This drabble is not legal advice. Please seek a lawyer’s consultation for your own workplace deniability.