I used Grammarly to grammar check this post because well, let’s face it folks, I have the proofreading skills of a blind second grader. Not that I have anything against blind second graders. I don’t. They actually could be respectful proofreaders. I mean, maybe it’s easier to edit using Braille, how do I know? Ok, I’ll stop now. I probably have a thousand pissed off blind second graders obliterating me on Reddit. But why would second graders be on Reddit? That’s just bad parenting! I can now blame their parents for my poor proofreading skills. What? Oh, right, I’ll stop…

So, as you can see above, this blog post has a sponsor. Check out Grammarly when you get a chance. I’ll be playing with the free trial and see how it works. Why am I doing this? Well, because, as the title of this post says, I have works in progress.

First off, I have a couple episodes of Big Box Blood Bath that I need to proof before I start releasing that as a serial. Will I have them professionally edited? No. WHAT? I know, I know, bad form for self-publishing. But, hey, it’s a serial. I will use Grammarly to proofread after I do my just a step above a blind second grader run through. But the episodes are short enough that I am confident in my line editing skills. And the tone and voice of the story is free flowing, so I think I’d just confuse an editor. I know, it’s a bold choice that could blow up in my face. But, and here is the big reason, editing costs $$$. Serious $$$. And I do not have serious $$$. I have serious amounts of *%#@, but not $$$.

Them’s is the facts. Dollars be tight for this writer.

Which brings me to another work in progress: Natural Born Cyborgs. Not sure what that is? Have a read here. To start, I am pretty sure that the name of the novel will change, so let’s call Natural Born Cyborgs a working title. Nothing wrong with that. As of today the project is between 15%-20% funded. It’s a little disappointing, but that’s life. It is Summer and people are vacationing and spending their hard earned dollars on things like gas. And gas. And gas. Maybe come Fall time, when they are back in the usual routine, and not spending all their money on gas so they can see the World’s Largest Ball of Rubber Cement Boogers, more funding will come in. Maybe not.

I’m in no hurry. But, let me say this, I do have some seriously amazing notes on this novel. When I mention in the description that this will introduce the world to MechPunk, I mean it. Seriously. When I’m done with this thing, mechs will be the new zombies. Despite Pacific Rim bombing at the US box office. This shit is gonna rock! So, folks, the sooner it gets funded the sooner I start writing. Because until I have the $$$ to publish the novel correctly (that DOES mean editing, proofreading, cover design, etc) then it stays a work in progress.

Ok, then what am I doing now? Well, I am working on a manuscript I had set aside. In fact, I had set three different versions aside. I’m not going to say what it is except it could be classified as “Urban Fantasy”. But fuck that classification. This novel is not about vampires kissing werewolves and having little chupacabra babies. No fucking way. This novel is noirish and profane. Like really profane. I ain’t fucking you sideways when I say the profanity levels in this novel have hit eleven. Hell, the profanity has fucked eleven and left it on the doorstep without cab fare. That’s profane. And I’m having a blast writing it. Want a taste? If enough people ask, in the comments below, then I’ll post an excerpt.

Then what? Well, I have gotten terrific feedback on the script of the first issue of the DEAD MECH comic book. I’m making some tweaks and then will start on the next few issues. After that? I hunt down an artist, tranquilize them, put them in a small room with a bag of dry Quinoa and a chamber pot and put them to work! From what I hear it’s better accommodations than DC offers. ZINGER!

Oh, and if you are a comic book artist (rookies welcome) then give me a shout. Let’s see what we can work out.

Speaking of DEAD MECH, have you seen the re-release by Severed Press? No? Then have a peek here. The rest of the Apex Trilogy will be out shortly. Want to see mock-ups of the covers? Comments, people, comments. Participation is a two way street.

Is that all for works in progress? Hardly. I have tons more going on, but none of it solid enough to post about. Don’t worry, I’ll give you the scoop of poop later. YOU SHALL BE INFORMED! Sorry I yelled. Coffee just kicked in.

Have questions? Thoughts? Recipes for kickass opossum fajitas? Then comment away below! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

PS- I ran this post through Grammarly and apparently I have the grammar skills of leftover opossum fajitas. Who knew?