Jake Bible Fiction

  • Introducing Sample Saturday!

    Attention all writers, publishers, agents, lurkers of alleyways, ditches, trenches, sewers and strip malls!

    I, your benevolent colleague, have decided to start a new weekly blog post called…wait for it…wait…

    Sample Saturday!

    This means that if you have a sample of your novel, novella, short story, eighth grade diary, or what-the-hell-ever, then I am interested in seeing it! And posting it! For all to see and read! I like exclamation points!

    Seriously, though, I want to help showcase other writers’ work. I want to be able to say, “Hey, world! I know I am the best writer you’ve ever read in the history of all history, but there are other folks that are pretty good. Pretty, pretty good.”

    How can you as a writer, publisher, agent, succubi get involved? Well first, dear succubi, stop draining the men folk of their vital essence. That’s just wrong. As for the rest of you, all you have to do is shoot me the sample you want me to showcase, maybe a brief description of said sample, a short bio, and a jpeg of the cover that you want to be posted (see fine print below). Don’t have a cover yet? Then an author photo is fine. Don’t have an author photo? Then maybe a photo of your mom that one night she got really, really drunk on peach schnapps and ended up skinny dipping in the neighbor’s bird bath. Remember that night? Good times…

    Just shoot all the info over to me at jakebiblefiction at gmail.com. See what I did there? I fooled the bots! I spelled out “@” so bots can’t get me! They’re everywhere, man, everywhere! They get in your mind, man! In your hair and your clothes and your My Little Pony lunchboxes! So unclean, so unclean…

    Y’all excited? I should hope so! You get to be exposed to my fan base for free! But not exposed in the way your mom was that night. Sigh. Good times…

    And now for the fine print!

    Fine Print: Samples should be sent as epub files preferably (PDF or doc will work, though). I plan on offering the sample as a nice pdf (I can convert into that format. I’m magic!). This means any type of tech, whether smart phone, ereader or PC/Mac, can read the files. Or should be able to. Photos should be no bigger than 500×800 please and jpeg format. Keep descriptions brief and to the point, same with bios. You want people to read your samples, not get bored reading about you. No one really cares about you. Except your naked mom. Although she cares a little less when she’s sober. Sorry, I just speak the truth. AND DON”T FORGET TO INCLUDE A WEBSITE LINK OR SOMETHING SO PEOPLE CAN FIND YOU AND YOUR WORK! AND YOUR TWITTER HANDLE SO I CAN TWEET ABOUT IT AND YOU WILL KNOW!

    Sorry I shouted. I just get so worked up. Feel free to email me with any questions, yo.

    Word to your naked, drunk mom in the birdbath!

    (Oh, and this is starting as of this Saturday, November 12th, so get a move on peoples!)

  • The Americans Episode 26!

    Hey, Y’all!

    Welcome back to another exciting episode of Charlie’s Angels! As you know, last week Kris had a run in with that nasty drug dealer, Mr. Smoothy Jay. But, Kris took him down! This week- Uh, wait…

    Oh, that’s right! This is another episode of The Americans! Tricked ya!

    Okay, maybe I didn’t trick ya, but I probably put a smile on your face. If you didn’t smile then you suck and have nothing but a lump of coal for a heart. Get help.

    Anyway, thanks for checking out the latest episode of The Americans. It’s gettin’ crazy! What could possibly happen this week?

    Guess you’ll just have to find out!

    Enjoy!

    The Americans Episode 26

    Oh, and don’t forget that you can skip all this audio craziness and buy the ebook right now! Find out what happens before everyone else! Cheers!

    Show Notes:

    All music by Kevin MacLeod at www.incompetech.com

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Oh, Happy Friday!

    Let’s get our Drabble Party on!

    I think you can figure out by tonight’s drabble where my head has been at for a while now. If you’ve read my novels then you know I do have a bit of a political mind. Just a bit.

    Speaking of novels, be sure and click HERE so you can go to the Buy The Fiction page! Choose the retailer of your preference and buy yourself a copy of the just released The Americans or even the currently on sale DEAD MECH!

    Go do that now, I’ll wait. You’ll forget to do it if you read the drabble first. Come on, do it. Dooooo eeeeeeeet!

    Or read the drabble.

    Corporation Farm

    Enjoy!

    Disclaimer: Those that hold the power only do so because we let them.

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Happy Freaky Friday, y’all!

    Why’s it freaky? I don’t know! I’m just crazy! Crazy like a fox! Which has absolutely nothing to do with Friday Night Drabble Party.

    Freaked yet?

    On a different note, have you seen the announcement that The Americans is now available as an ebook from these fine retailers:

    Amazon-Kindle

    Barnes & Noble-Nook

    Smashwords

    Go get you some of that fine, novel goodness!

    Now, back to the drabble!

    It’s a timely one for me. Hope you like it!

    Enjoy!

    Ooopsy

    Disclaimer: This drabble is not endorsed by the Department Of Health or any health organization. Not an actual therapy for age reversal.

  • Announcing The Americans Now Published!

    It is here! The Americans is now available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords

    “Hundreds of years after the United States is turned into a radioactive, zombie infested wasteland, the descendants of peacekeeping troops stranded abroad are now the world’s marshals, keeping law and order in a futuristic landscape of high-tech feudalism and raw, bioorganic metal.

    They are known simply as: The Americans.

    The exciting sidequel to DEAD MECH takes you on a hellride through Europe, Asia and beyond as American Ghost Heather Walton must save her family, her friends, and an all important cargo, as all Americans struggle to maintain their place in a world where the powers that be no longer want them. And will stop at nothing to put an end to their standing and their very existence!”

    Sounds great, right?

    While it will still be a couple months before The Americans will be available in print, you can get it now for $4.99 for the ereader of your preference!

    Something else that’s cool is it that signed/personalized ebooks will soon be available directly from me! Just in time for the holiday season! Now you can buy autographed and personalized copies of The Americans and DEAD MECH and send those beautiful ebooks to friends and family! It’s crazy, I know!

    Be sure and stay tuned for more details of when these miracle ebooks will be available! In the meantime, if you are an author and want to be able to sign ebooks for your fans then check out MyWrite. So freakin’ cool!

    Well, I hate to take up your valuable time, especially when you’ll be using that time to get your copy of The Americans!

    Oh, and guess what? DEAD MECH is now $2.99 through all retailers! If you haven’t read it then you are missing out! Hop to it, people! This deal won’t last forever!

    But wait! There’s more!

    Do you just looooooooove DEAD MECH? Have you wanted it to get more exposure, more press, more fans and sell more copies? Wow, me too! I may have a chance to get DEAD MECH published by a large publisher, but I need your help. If you have read DEAD MECH then please head over to Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords and leave some reviews. These are visible to everyone and not only help with sales, but are endorsements that potential publishers will see. This could mean DEAD MECH will be available as a hardcover (yes, I will sign some for y’all) at some point. More than that, getting DEAD MECH to a wider audience can mean exposure to Hollywood, y’all. If you’ve ever hoped DEAD MECH would end up on the big screen then this is the first step. Go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Smashwords and leave a review! Go now!

    Thanks, ya’ll! You guys rock!