• Ah, yes, General Ization. That evil overlord of all things publishing.

    Whether publishing with one of the Big Publishers or self-publishing, General Ization has his grip firmly around the necks of all.

    Don’t believe me? Then let me know what your opinion of Big Publishing is. Or self-publishing. I’m sure you have an in-depth, well thought out opinion based on actual facts and experience.

    What’s that? Big Publishing is EVIL and must be brought down because it sucks the life out of innocent writers that can’t defend themselves? Huh…

    Oh, and self-publishing is filled with nothing but badly edited crap that shouldn’t be shat upon by an epileptic chimpanzee? Interesting.

    Sounds like you are an agent of General Ization! YOU MUST BE PUT TO DEATH!

    I bring this all up because there is a rampant problem with publishing today, in all forms and arenas.

    It’s not how writers are treated. Because if you are a writer and don’t realize you are at the bottom of the food chain then you haven’t been paying attention.

    It’s not that chaos reigns in the publishing world as everyone tries to figure out their place. Chaos is always there. Change happens, folks. That’s life.

    It’s not that companies are merging, bookstores are closing/screaming foul, or that new forms of distribution are changing the very way books/ebooks are put into that hands of readers. That’s called business. Once again, change happens. Get used to it.

    No, the rampant problem is how so many people (dare I say millions?) are taking generalizations as facts. How they are reading blogs (such as this one) and believing that opinions are Gospel. Can I get a hallelujah!

    The two major generalizations out there are:

    1. Big Publishing is only there to make a profit and no one in it cares about authors or quality. They only care about the bottom line.

    2. That self-publishing is crap. Dreck that was pulled from the asses of ignorant writers that only want to unleash their horrid words upon the world to satisfy their egos.

    I’m generalizing, of course.

    But, in a way I’m not. Think about the blogs/articles/reports you’ve read or seen in the past month regarding publishing. Now ask yourself this: did any of them say anything that was hard fact or hadn’t been said before?

    The answer is no. No, they haven’t.

    I click the links and read all of that stuff too. And I haven’t seen an original thought in forever. Pundits on both sides are just rehashing the same, boring arguments without a single, quantifiable fact behind them.

    Don’t believe me? Well, if Big Publishing is so evil then why do writers stay with them? Money? Maybe. Fame? Possibly. Because they have no other choice? Bullshit. Writers stay with something because it works for them. And if it works for the writers (not all, of course) then something must be done right. Come on, people! Writers are the bottom of the food chain as I said above. Just like all prey they stick with what keeps them alive. And if Big Publishing is keeping them alive then all the vitriol about how it does nothing but exploit writers can’t be true. It just can’t be.

    Don’t get me wrong, we are talking about major corporations which are out there to make a profit. But “major corporations” are not thinking, feeling, breathing entities. They are just pieces of paper and bank accounts. It’s the people in the corporations that matter, not the corporations themselves. Big Publishing— hold on, I’m going to stop using caps on that name and personifying it. Big (had to capitalize that since it’s the beginning of the sentence. Shut up) publishing is made up of people. Just like any other entity it is nothing without people. To generalize that big publishing is evil is to say that EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN PUBLISHING IS EVIL. Again, bullshit. Are there bad people? Yes. But they are everywhere. That’s life with humanity.

    Now how about self-publishing? I recently was having a conversation with an industry veteran that has worked with writers like Kurt Vonnegut, John LeCarre, E.L. Doctorow, and others. Her opinion is “self-publishing is filled with nothing but crap”. So I politely asked: “What self-published books have you read?” Her answer? None.

    None.

    This is a very intelligent person. She’s no dummy, yo. But, based on the generalizations she’s heard, not actual factual experience, she has formed an opinion that ALL self-publishing is “crap”. Why does she have that opinion when reality would suggest otherwise? There are now millions of self-published books in the market. The odds dictate that yes, a percentage will be crap. But, the odds dictate that some will be mediocre, too. And some, just like with all art everywhere in the world since the dawn of time, will be pure brilliance.

    But then she’s an editor, not a mathematician. Odds may be too hard to figure out.

    How many books have you read that you’ve loved? A small percentage. That’s what makes a classic a classic and a throwaway summer read a throwaway summer read. And that small percentage applies to authors, too. I love Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy, but I can do without The Orchard Keeper. But because I didn’t really get into The Orchard Keeper then does that make Cormac McCarthy a shitty writer? I’m guessing no.

    A small percentage.

    You want to generalize? Then look at facts. Only a small percentage of anything is going to be good. That is art. And you, as an individual, will not agree with anyone else about that small percentage.

    Why?

    Because art is subjective!

    And there we have it folks: art is subjective. So is life. To state that anything is anything is egotistical flabberjabber. To say your experience is TRUTH or FACT is insane. It is only TRUTH or FACT for YOU. That’s it.

    Whether you are a writer or reader, your opinion is only valid for you. It is something others can weigh and take into account when forming their own opinions, but at no point should it be taken as FACT or TRUTH. Until you have read that self-published book or worked for big publishing then you have no experience to base any opinion on. You are General Ization’s infantry bitch.

    I’d also like to add that General Ization also applies to the subset of issues (GENDER!) within publishing. But I’m not going to get into that. There are many more articulate folks out there that have tackled this. Find them, read them, understand what’s going on.

    You may have read everything above and thought, “I don’t generalize. I base my opinions on the merit of the work.” Which may be true, but next time you have to choose between one book or the other think about what factors draw you to the one you choose. And what generalizations influenced you to make that choice.

    Because, as enlightened as you think you are (myself included), General Ization is standing right behind you, nodding, laughing, and plotting his next method of influence.

    Cheers.

  • Okay, so maybe I haven’t had that many parts to my updates. Probably closer to 75614562354.1. But that’s just a guess.

    So, how have you been? Good, good… Me? Been fine. Been busy. Busy, busy, busy. Busy.

    Busy with what you ask? Oh, writing the comic book scripts for DEAD MECH. Writing episodes of Big Box Blood Bath for serial release soon. Finishing a novel under a pen name. And watching the progress of the pre-order of Natural Born Cyborgs.

    Have you heard of it? No? Well, here it is!

    Natural Born Cyborgs
    The techno-virus used by the Three hundreds of years ago has mutated and combined with BC (biochrome) to create a generation of natural born cyborgs- part biorganic metal, part human. Society decides these Splicers, as they are called, are too dangerous to let live and rounds them up for extermination. Those not found must hide their true natures and fight for their lives. And the lives of those yet born.
    Set in the same universe as DEAD MECH, but hundreds of years after the events in the Apex Trilogy, Natural Born Cyborgs is the first in the Splicer Wars series of novels that introduce the world to the new MechPunk style of science fiction- raw, unrelenting, brutal, and shiny.

    You like? I know ya do! I bet you wish you could read this right now! I know ya do! I KNOW EVERYTHING! Well, everything in my head. I know all of that. ALL OF THAT!

    But, seriously, how about those Pacers, eh? What? Oh, right, Natural Born Cyborgs. While I hate to take you away from this post you should click here to see what’s going on with this crazy pre-orderpalooza. Right…HERE!

    Cool, right? RIGHT?! Right…

    I have had a few pre-orders, a flurry in the beginning, but it has slacked off. So this post is for all of you folks that haven’t pre-ordered. Go pre-order. Do it now. NOW! Thanks.

    And for all of you that have already pre-ordered, here is a reminder: I don’t start writing the novel until I hit the minimum funding of $2000. We are 10% there. I know, I know, only 10%. But that’s to be expected. Hard to keep that momentum going day in and day out. That’s where I need your help, if you are so inclined. Spread the word. Tell your friends. Post on the Facebookerybookerbook. Tweet like your taint is on fire. Do all of that stuff.

    The sooner we hit $2000 in funding (like how I said ‘we’ there?) the sooner I start writing this bad boy!

    And here is the cool part: I may post rough draft samples along the way! Just some excerpts here and there to whet your whistle if your whistle needs whetting. Like this one!

    “The fire ball erupted all bout them, engulfing exposed skin in a blanket of heat and pain. The oxygen was ripped from their lungs and they lay singed and wounded on the deck of the transport car like forgotten goldfish dropped from a toddler’s hands.”

    Who is on the deck? Why is there a fireball? Who the hell lets toddlers handle goldfish? So many questions and the way to get the answers is to back Natural Born Cyborgs. So get to gettin’ to that. I promise you won’t be disappointed. I PROMISE!

    Cheers!

  • Another Friday, another Party!

    You like the drabbles, huh? Do ya, huh? Oh, I know ya do!

    So how about we just get to it, eh? Just dive right into tonight’s 100 words, huh? You like that? Do ya?

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Digging Began…
    By
    Jake Bible

    The photos were posted at 8:53pm on May 23rd, 2013. They were shared by several students for the next two hours before they went viral.

    Tina found out at 12:47am on May 24th, 2013. Her first reaction wasn’t shock or embarrassment, but pure rage. Sweet, homicidal rage. If her father saw those pictures…

    The plan was devised at 3:25am on May 24th, 2013. Tools were bagged; duct tape and plastic were bagged; shovel was obtained.

    The photos’ hard drive disappeared at 6:13am May 24th, 2013. The hard drive’s owner disappeared minutes later.

    Digging began at 8:32am on May 24th, 2013…

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Bullying is bad. Murder is just as bad. Except when…

  • There is a fine line for authors when it comes to promotion and marketing. And I wish I knew where that line is.

    I am currently working out my Twitter strategy by using a program called TweetAdder. I know, I know, it is one of those programs. But it does help me a lot. I can create tweets that get sent on a regular basis and also get repeated. While for some, this may seem like that dreaded douchebaggery, for me it is essential. I have had a couple followers tell me they know I’m repeating some tweets, but the cool thing is that even a tweet I have sent out ten times still gets new responses from folks that didn’t see it before.

    This is good.

    Part of what Twitter is about is to strike up a conversation. Sure, I use it to promote my work, but only a small percentage of my tweets are promotion. What it’s really good for, at least for me, is connecting with fans, friends, and colleagues. But, I also have a day job and must be writing during down time, so I can’t be tweeting all day. Using something like TweetAdder lets me send out tweets and then respond and reply to anyone that replies to me. I start a conversation, and with a little monitoring in my “mentions” feed I can see if people are conversing back. It is great.

    But, is it really helpful? Am I losing an audience when they see the same tweet today that they just saw two weeks ago? Am I gaining anything by automating my Twitter persona? I don’t know.

    The other thing TweetAdder allows me to do is look at other authors’ follower lists and poach them. Well, not really. Ok, sort of. I am able to import those lists and start going through them and following their followers by checking out profiles and tweets. That has been a huge help! I am getting messages now from fans of mine that I started following that didn’t know I was on Twitter! Because I have gone through other authors’ lists I have been able to connect with fans that wouldn’t have discovered me on Twitter on their own.

    TweetAdder also lets me go over my list of those I follow and see who I haven’t had conversations with ever/sometimes/often, as well as those I follow that aren’t active on Twitter or may be bots. (No offense to any bots reading this. I know you’re working hard to get me hard and sell me SEO services.) I haven’t really used this feature at all. I do plan on it and will be culling my list that I follow soon. My timeline is getting messy.

    So why call this post Delicate Douchebaggery? Because it is the Internet and everyone has their set of rules and procedures and laws and commandments and WAYS THINGS MUST BE DONE BECAUSE THE INTERNET IS ONLY FREE IF YOU ACT EXACTLY AS A TOTAL STRANGER WANTS YOU TO.

    That’s why.

    While some who read this won’t give a rat’s ass made out of styrofoam, there are others that will be OFFENDED GREATLY. Which is the exact reason I am talking about this. I want it out in the open that this is how I play the Twitter game (no need to talk about the Facebook game because there isn’t one. Facebook is just necessary suckage). I use certain tools to help me maximize my Twitter use. And so far the tools work for me. They may not work for you. They may not work for Joe Hill or John Scalzi or CC Chapman or Neil Gaiman. But they work for me. And that’s what matters.

    And that’s really all I have to say. So if you see a tweet that you’ve seen before then feel free to call me out on it on Twitter. I don’t mind at all. It gives me a chance to strike a conversation with you. Who knows, maybe we’ll discover we have some things in common. Or that I really am a douchebag. Or both. We’ll see.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids. He is the author the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the YA horror novels Little Dead Man (November 2012) and the forthcoming Intentional Haunting (2013). Check out Friday Night Drabble Party every week! Free drabbles for all!  His Twitter handle is @jakebible.

  • Friday! Night! Drabble! Party!

    Free 100 word fiction for your eyeholes to see and your brainpan to loooooove! LOVE THEM!

    Hey! Did you know I have more drabble goodness published? If you love the Party then you’ll love these!

    C-Notes: A Collection of 100 Drabbles

    One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short

    Have a look, have a read, enjoy!

    ***

    Never Admit To A Job
    By
    Jake Bible

    The cigarette burned until it was nothing but ash. Carlotta didn’t care, she just lit another and placed it between Dirk’s lifeless fingers.

    “So, like I was saying,” Carlotta continued, far from finished with her post-assassination narrative. “It wasn’t anything personal. Just business.” The door opened and Carlotta turned to face her boss and his assistant. “He’s all yours. Don’t kill him until I’m gone.”

    And she left, leaving the assistant puzzled. “Don’t kill him? The guy’s missing half his face.”

    “She never admits to a job,” the boss replied. “Ever.”

    The assistant shrugged and started to pour the gasoline.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: This drabble is not legal advice. Please seek a lawyer’s consultation for your own workplace deniability.