Warning: Profanity ahead! Don’t read this to your kids. If you are a kid, don’t read it (which means you will). If you are a parent and don’t like your kids reading profanity then stop wasting time here, Goodie Smith, and get back to your witch burning. Sheesh.

Monday night I hit a double feature of Pacific Rim and then World War Z. The bliss, oh, the sweet, sweet bliss.

Before we go into the movies, you should read this post of mine from a few weeks back It’s Okay To Have Fun Just Because!

All done? Good. Now you get where I’m coming from as you read this.

There have been plenty of people smarter than me that have reviewed/examined Pacific Rim. Find them, read them, stalk them. No, no, don’t stalk them. (Stalk them…) I’m not going to go in depth about the story or characters or plot or blah-blah-blah. No point.

Why? Because Pacific Rim is just plain fun! I don’t care about the holes in the science (there are plenty). I don’t care about some of the cardboard characters (cardboard is a necessary part of life or pizzas would be delivered on the bare backs of zit covered teen slaves. Or something like that…). I won’t go into the fact that- OH, IT’S JUST FUCKING FUN! FUN, FUN, FUN!

HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE ROBOTS FIGHT HUGE, GIANT MASSIVE MONSTERS THAT COME OUT OF A CRACK IN THE OCEAN! FUCK PLOT! FUCK CHARACTERS! FUCK CARDBOARD (Hello? Yes, I need a large cheese with extra cheese and a side of melted extra cheese)! I could give two shits and a titty fuck (which is the Papa John’s Friday night special, by the way) about blah-blah-blah when HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE ROBOTS FIGHT HUGE, GIANT MASSIVE MONSTERS THAT COME OUT OF A CRACK IN THE OCEAN!

That’s why you should go see the movie. That’s my endorsement. It looks awesome, the acting is great, it’s funny (Charlie Day and Ron Perlman. Nuff said) and HUGE, GIANT, MASSIVE ROBOTS FIGHT HUGE, GIANT MASSIVE MONSTERS THAT COME OUT OF A CRACK IN THE OCEAN!

I mean, come on, that’s why I wrote DEAD MECH. I wanted to write a fun novel where massive battle robots crush zombies and where zombies pilot massive battle robots and crush people. Then eat them. I wasn’t going for Crime and Punishment, y’all. I was going for what I thought was fun and hoped others would think the same thing.

Good shit, yo.

Now, to switch gears and move to World War Z. It is not the same as the novel. In fact, only the title is the same. That’s it. But, who cares? It’s a great movie! And, AND, it’s not an action movie!

Whoa… What did he just say?

I SAID, it’s not an action movie. Yes, there is a ton of action. Yes, there are Navy Seals and Special Forces and Israeli paramilitary troops and zombies go SUPER FUCKING FAST and climb shit and mow people down like a Black Friday sale at Wal-Mart, but it is not an action movie.

Why? Because the main character is not an action hero. He’s a thinker. He’s a guy dropped into the middle of hell because he is an investigator. He uses guns at times, even tosses a couple grenades, but that’s because it’s the SMART thing to do, not because he needs to go all BANG-BANG, SPLOOSHY ZOMBIE HEAD DIE BITCHES DIE ONE LINER HERE WE COME. Not because of that. No, he observes the insanity and is able to pierce the fear and chaos to find the answers needed to stop the zombie hordes. That’s good shit.

Don’t like Brad Pit? Then don’t go see the movie because he’s in almost every single frame. And he does a great job. I believed his character. I believed his motivation. I believed he would do whatever it took to get the answers. So, I guess he is an action hero OF THE MIND!

World War Z has plenty of scares, plenty of gore, and sweet, sweet zombie action. If you like zombie movies then go see this one. It is not a re-hash of everything else. It’s more like if you dropped Brad Pit into a smart BBC crime drama and gave it a $200 million dollar budget. That’s my kinda zombie flick. And it is still very fun!

That’s my two cents on a couple of blockbusters out there right now. If you can, go see them both. Preferably back to back. You’ll get your peanut butter and then your chocolate and then you will be all, “Peanut butter. Nomnomnom. Chocolate. Nomnomnom.” Or something like that…

Cheers!