• Howdy, Folks!

    So some of you may have heard through my ramblings on various venues that I am now writing full time. This is most excellent. And 100% terrifying. No safety net (i.e. income) to catch me if I fail. But, as my wife and I have discussed, there is a shit ton of faith in this house! Take that however you want according to your personal philosophy, but I am a HUGE believer in the power of positive thought/prayer when it comes to getting through life. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be where I am with the amazing family I have and the amazing life I have.

    But, the point of this post is to give a brief rundown of where things stand with Jake Bible Fiction. Here we go!

    1. Natural Born Cyborgs– This is still happening! But due to my writing full time, I’ve had to set it off to the side so I can focus on projects that pay right now. Sorry. For those of you that have backed the project I will be sending y’all an email update with some very cool news. Very cool news. This will be WAY better than a Kickstarter or Indiegogo crowd funded project. But more on that later. Just know you will be very happy. Want in on the happiness? Then get to backing! Natural Born Cyborgs

    2. The Apex Trilogy– Severed Press has done a wonderful job with the re-release of the Apex Trilogy. I know quite a few of you have asked how you can get signed copies of the new versions. I’ll be putting those back up for sale soon. The trick is international shipping. I don’t want to gouge folks, but then again I can’t take a loss on the sale in order to keep shipping costs down. If you are outside the US and still want copies, just know that the shipping will cost as much as the books. Sorry.

    3. Audiobooks– Speaking of the Apex Trilogy, I do plan on re-recording the entire series and producing and releasing them as audiobooks. For those that have been waiting on Metal and Ash this is good news. Soon your earholes will be assaulted by the finale in the series. And by soon I mean…sometime in the future. You all know I quit podcasting my novels because of the intense amount of time it takes to put it all together. Same time issue with audiobooks. I have a couple projects I have to finish before I can sit down in front of the mic. But that time will come!

    4. New Projects– While I can’t really talk about all the new projects I have in the works, the one I can talk about is my new straight up zombie series: Z-Burbia! I just sent in the manuscript to Severed Press and hopefully we’ll see a release in the next couple months. This is not a genre mash up. This is old school, Romero-esque zombies. The setting is in a subdivision just outside Asheville, NC. Write what you know! There is plenty of action, gore, zombies, and my personal favorite, CANNIBALS! Man, I do love me some cannibals. I should think of doing just a cannibal series. Hmmm… Anyhoo, you all will love this. I think the snark level I bring to this novel is my highest yet. How can you set the zombie apocalypse in a subdivision without some serious satire? You can’t!

    5. Little Dead Man– I am bringing this novel up because it is getting close to Halloween. And this would make the perfect Halloween gift for your zombie loving teen or for yourself! What? You don’t give out Halloween gifts? For shame, people. For. Shame. Here’s the thing about Little Dead Man: it’s a freaking great novel. I have heard nothing but great feedback on this guy. It is the novel that got me a literary agent, folks. Worried because it’s YA that it won’t be your cup of tea? Don’t be! It has all of the Jake Bible elements! Zombies, cannibals, arena battles to the death (TO THE DEATH!), scavengers, mystery, action action action, shotguns, cannibals (yes, I said it twice), and, most of all, the completely original idea of having the protagonists be conjoined twins! One is a full grown seventeen year old boy, the other is his undead infant brother attached to the top of his spine! COME ON! That’s gold, people! So check it out, buy it, read it, love it! I know you will!

    6. Cons– I plan on doing way more cons in 2014. Do you have a local one you like? Then send them my info! While I want to do more cons, they can be expensive. Right now I am looking at cons that invite me as a guest. This helps with expenses considerably. So go bug your local con and tell them they need some Jake Bible tainting their convention floor. I’d love to be able to meet more of you in person!

    7. The Future– The future is good for Jake Bible Fiction. Audiobooks, a new series (maybe more), possibly getting into the gaming industry, Natural Born Cyborgs, and so much more! I am truly honored and blessed to be where I am right now. I have each and every one of you to thank for this. Couldn’t be here without you. So reach out, let me know what’s on your mind, what you like about Jake Bible Fiction and what you don’t, let me know what you’d like to see more of. Let’s chat. I know there are writers out there that aren’t very accessible, but I’m not one of those. You want to talk? I’m sitting right here in my captain’s chair at my desk. No, seriously, I have a captains chair. I dig it very much. Email, comment, tweet, FB message me, post on my wall, send carrier pigeon, whateves. I’ll be waiting!

    That’s about it, folks. There is more, but I wanted to get this out there so y’all know what is going on. I’ll certainly try to keep the updates coming more frequently. But let’s not make this a one way street. Reach out if you want. I’m here.

    Chat soon.

    Cheers!

    -Jake

  • Welcome back to the Party, y’all!

    If you have a look around you’ll see I did some rearranging of the website. Gotta get all professional looking, ya know what I mean?

    Speaking of professional, I will be at the Asheville Comic Expo tomorrow (Saturday 21st) from 11am to 7pm. I’ll be selling and signing books, handing out gruesome goodies, and just chatting it up with fans and readers and other professional artistic type peoples. You should come by. Seriously. Do it. Come by. DO IT!

    But what you’re really here for is tonight’s Drabble, right? RIGHT?

    Then let’s get to it!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Uncooperative Passengers

    By

    Jake Bible

    “Fifteen seconds until reentry,” Computer said. “Please prepare all passengers for landing.”

    Flames enveloped the hull as the vessel hit the upper atmosphere. Computer made all the calculations required to shield the occupants.

    “Reentry complete,” Computer said. “Adjusting course for Home Base. Please remain harnessed until further instructed.”

    Computer banked the vessel and came in at the correct speed  and trajectory to land safely, setting the vessel down with only a minimum of disturbance.

    “The Company thanks you for your service. You may now disembark.”

    Computer waited.

    “You may now disembark.”

    The skeletons strapped into the harnesses refused to answer.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Purchase of ticket does not constitute Company’s agreement to keep you alive. Please read all Terms and fill out the mandatory Will before boarding.

  • Only thing better than a normal Friday Night Drabble Party? A Friday the 13th Night Drabble Party!

    It’s like the Universe had me in mind when making the calendar. Thank you, Universe!

    So, to celebrate this most holy night of slasherific slasherness I give you this drabble! I serve it up  on a plate of pan-seared liver with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti. Mmmmmmm!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    A Hard Night’s Work

    By

    Jake Bible

    “RUN!” I scream at her. “Go get the car!”

    I toss her the keys, but they slip through her fingers, falling into the thick mud at her feet.

    The rain pours down on us, creating red rivulets of blood that flow down my skin as my wounds continue to bleed. I can’t believe he cut me. Deep. Am I dying? Am I?

    “There he is!” she yells at me. “Just past the trees!”

    “THEN GO AFTER HIM!” I shout. “Do I have to do everything?!”

    What was I thinking hiring an assistant? There’s a reason we serial killers work alone.

    ***

    How’d ya like that one?

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer:  They were warned…They are doomed…And on Friday the 13th, nothing will save them.

  • Pssst. Hey, you. Yeah, you. You, uh, like Drabbles? Yeah? You like to Party? Yeah, you know what I mean. Party, man, Party. You do? Excellent.

    Then it’s time for another Friday Night Drabble Party! You bring the Friday and I bring the Drabble and we have ourselves a little Party!

    Woo to the hoo!

    I’m working on a new book series and it’s pretty much straight up zombie-goodness. So in the new project’s honor I bring you tonight’s drabble.

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Never Stop

    By

    Jake Bible

    The metal fencing tore into his forearm as he squeezed through. He knew it was bad, but he couldn’t take the time to stop and look. He couldn’t take the time to stop at all.

    The car had blown a gasket three miles back and his feet had been in constant motion since. The dead things were everywhere. Everywhere.

    The moans, the groans, the hisses as he sprinted by, his legs tiring, his lungs burning, the hitch in his side becoming a cramp, becoming a stabbing pain.

    He saw a door. He stopped to try it.

    He shouldn’t have stopped.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: It’s all about cardio.

  • Kapow! That’s right, the Party is back for another Friday adventure in Drabbletastic goodness!

    DRABBLETASTIC!

    I have a few coals in the fire that I’ll be announcing soon, but y’all will just have to wait patiently. PATIENTLY!

    Until then how about reading a drabble? Yes? Excellent…

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Team Work

    By

    Jake Bible

    Curled about a tree, a snake sighs.

    “I wait, I strike, I eat, I shit,” the snake says. “Repeat.”

    “Not about fun,” the squirrel above him chatters. “Gotta work! Gotta set those nuts aside. Gotta dig, dig, dig. CAR! Gotta watch for cars!”

    “Work is hard,” the snake says.

    “No, it’s easy!”

    “Show me.”

    “What?” the squirrel asks. “Show you? How?”

    “Come here.”

    “No way!” the squirrel laughs. Just before it is swallowed by the snake on the tree limb behind it.

    “I call dibs on the tree next time,” the snake below says.

    “Deal,” the snake above replies. “Burp.”

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: CAR!