Jake Bible Fiction

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    There’s a Party goin’ on right here! Time for some free, free, free micro-fiction!

    And I know that’s how you like your micro-fiction, you cheeky bastards. You like it free.

    Know what else is free? No, I’m asking you. I like free stuff too.

    But until we find all of that free stuff, you should totally check out some of my latest novels for sale!

    Anti1DeadTeamAlpha-Ecover

    Look at these beauties! Look upon them and bask in their glory! Or just click the pic and go get ya some awesome fiction!

    Oh, and if you are a writer, or like reading about publishing, then check out my latest Views From The Captain’s Chair blog post. I explain why the $.99 price point for novels is not doing anyone any good. Oh, and I just found out that AntiBio is on sale this weekend for $.99! It’d be ironic, except that I explain the promotional good of $.99 in the post.

    Now, on with the free, free, free micro-fiction!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Only The Good

    By

    Jake Bible

    “When you sell your soul, son, there’s always a catch,” the old man said, lifting the glass of whiskey. He had to use both hands to keep from spilling the too infrequent liquid friend. “No way around the catch.”

    “There’s got to be a way to trick him,” the young man replied, pouring another double for the old man. “There’s got to be.”

    The old man looked deep into his glass then up at the young man, yellow eyes boring into the youth.

    “You don’t trick the trickster,” the old man sighed. “Trust me. I was supposed to die young.”

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Never shakes hands with some horned thing that wears a snazzy suit and say you are jesting.

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    It’s a Friday! It’s a Night! It’s a DRABBLE PARTY!

    No shillin’ this week, it’s all drabble! Unless you want to get AntiBio, Dead Team Alpha, or any one of my awesomeness in novel form here!

    Now, on to some drabble!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Don’t Look Back

    By

    Jake Bible

     

    He slides across the oil-slick parking lot, his feet exhibiting impaired minds of their own as they choose different directions at random times. Sweat pours off of him, the sun pounding his bare shoulders, building more blisters upon the ones that have already burst and scabbed.

    The sounds around him nearly drive him mad, but the will to survive keeps him from giving up.

    Even though it’s all fixed.

    The crowd cheers as something new is sent after him. He hears a roar and the scraping of large claws on the concrete.

    He doesn’t look back, just keeps sliding.

     

    ***

     

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Keep calm and <insert something blah blah>!

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Sixteen: The New Review Zoo!

    Captains ChairBlog

     

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    Today, we’re going to talk about reviews. And the reviewers that leave them!

    Reviews used to be something that authors waited for with trepidation and anxiety. The New York Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, Village Voice, etc. Getting a book review meant something. It was a badge of honor, or badge of shame. Once those reviews started coming out, whether good or bad, it meant you had made it as an author.

    Today? Not so much.

    Sure, reviews in major newspapers, periodicals, magazines, and prominent websites are great, but do they have the influence they once did? Not as much as Amazon reviews do. That 1 to 5 star review system that readers can leave on Amazon is really what can make or break a book these days.

    Right or wrong, that’s life, kid.

    There are other retailers I could talk about, but today I’m specifically going to focus on Amazon because it is the 500 pound metaphor in the room. Other retail websites have influence, but not nearly as much as Amazon.

    Here we go.

    First, let me say that  book reviews on Amazon are not actually book reviews in any sense of the word. They are customer satisfaction surveys. And there is a massive difference.

    What’s that difference?

    A book review is when an actual reviewer -someone that reviews books maybe not for a living, but as an intentional, thought out activity- reads a book, digests said book, then writes his/her opinion on what he/she just read.

    A customer satisfaction survey is when someone purchases something then decides they want to tell people if they liked it or not and maybe leave some reasons why.

    Splitting hairs? Hardly. One is active while the other is reactive. Book reviewers go into it with the active intention of reading a book in order to write a review about it. Whereas, customers leave their reviews as a reaction to what they just read. Two different intentions and models.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of actual reviews on Amazon. Lots of folks buy and read books for the sole purpose of leaving a review. I applaud them. It’s hard work reading a buttload of books and then dissecting and writing about them. I don’t want to do it. [Side note: I don’t review anything. Ever. Not my gig.]

    But, and let’s face it, the vast majority of reviews on Amazon are the equivalent of water cooler talk. Before everyone with an internet connection could spew their thoughts across the world, people used to just talk to each other. It went something like this:

    “Hey, Ralph, did you read the latest Snooty McPooterson novel? Great stuff!”

    “I can’t really stand Snooty McPooterson, George. I’m more a Letchy Von Dooemstein reader. That guy knows how to write about guns and dames!”

    “Right you are, Ralphy old pal! Hey, want another scotch?”

    “Is it ten yet?”

    “It is somewhere!”

    “Hahahahahahahahahaha… My wife is having an affair…”

    Okay, yes I just watched Mad Men last night. Shut up.

    So George talks about Snooty McPooterson to folks he knows, who then tell others, who tell others, and so on. People hear about a book and talk to others about it. That’s how word of mouth works and it has been the tried and true form of disseminating opinions for all of mankind’s history.

    The Amazon review system takes that way of human interaction and tosses it out the window.

    A reviewer leaves their opinion on Amazon and it sits there. No context. In my example above, Ralph’s wife is cheating on him! You think his mind was really on the substance of the last book he read? Probably not. And George would know that. He’d also know that Ralph likes to dress up in Shirley Temple outfits and talk to his Great Dane at length about Communist Russia ruining the potential of the American labor movement.

    In other words, George knows to take what Ralph says with a grain of salt.

    But in this day and age we are trained to believe what we see/read/hear on the internet as truth. That’s how we are wired. It’s the new “Well, I saw it on TV so it must be true!”. Yet it isn’t at all.

    I’m going to give you two examples from my books. The first is a review of Dead Team Alpha:

    “1.0 out of 5 stars

    Drivel, April 3, 2014
    By NEO (Arlington Heights, IL) – See all my reviews
    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    This review is from: Dead Team Alpha: A Post Apocalyptic Thriller (Kindle Edition)
    What a vile, childish piece of crap. If this is what the zombie apocalypse looks like, I’ll just get it over with and join the undead.”

    Ouch, right? That thing sat there for a couple of weeks and pretty much stagnated sales. Did the review bug me? Not at all. I could give two shits about reviews of my books. Every one has an asshole and everyone’s asshole smells like opinion.

    What did bug me is the fact that the reviewer, when you look at his old reviewer profile, says of himself “I’m getting older by the minute and am labeled by many as a curmudgeon.” 

    Nice of him to be honest, but you see where the problem is? People in his life would know that about him and know to ignore the “get off my lawn!” attitude. But, unless you click on his profile and read his bio, you as a consumer wouldn’t know that at all and would put way too much stock into this guy’s opinion when normally you might not.

    Next review is one for my novel AntiBio:

    “5.0 out of 5 stars Would recommend this for people who are into zombies., April 21, 2014
    By Sylvia Pelayo – See all my reviews
    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    This review is from: AntiBio: A Post Apocalyptic Thriller (Kindle Edition)
    If you’re in a zombie apocalypse read or post it’s very good read. Good story line and entertaining!! Very action-packed!!”

    You’d think I’d be stoked about a five star review, right? Except that AntiBio doesn’t have zombies in it and isn’t a zombie novel. So, uh….huh. What the hell do I do with this one? AntiBio is my return to straight up scifi. No zombies. I repeat, no zombies. Great rating, but did she actually read the novel? It is a Verified Purchase, so at least I know she bought it. Thank you, Sylvia! Yet, well…not a clue how to handle this.

    These are two examples of the insanity of reviews on Amazon. And why do they matter? Because people take exactly one second to make a snap judgment based on what they see on the internet. To many quick glancers, Dead Team Alpha is now “Drivel” because some curmudgeon wants it off his lawn. To others, AntiBio is another zombie novel by me, which it isn’t. Not at all.

    Yikes!

    There’s the cray cray of Amazon reviews in two examples. And, for the record, I’m glad anyone takes the time to review my novels. I’m very glad they have taken the time to purchase a novel and read it! But…

    What to do about it?

    The Internet has spoken and said that it is unethical and wrong for authors to ask for reviews of their novels. I call bullshit on that.

    I SAY AUTHORS SHOULD ASK FOR REVIEWS FROM EVERYONE THEY KNOW AND COMMUNICATE WITH!

    That sentence was in all caps because I was shouting from the rooftops.

    But, seriously, since it’s all bullshit anyway then why shouldn’t authors try to get as many reviews as possible from readers, fans, friends, and family? Load those stars onto that shit, yo!

    Some say it dilutes the truth of reviews. But I say there is no truth anyway! Let the wild rumpus begin!

    Authors, you need to ask everyone you know to leave a review. Your spouse, your children, your boss, your old babysitter, senile Aunt Matilda that shouts into her TV remote because she has thought it was the telephone since 1987.

    The whole system is borked to Hell as it is. Jump into that borking. Get as many reviews as you can from people you know and trust!

    Is it unethical to do that? Hells no! What would be unethical is to ask said friends, family, fans, readers, Aunt Matildas, to give only good reviews. Don’t sway their opinions. Just ask for them. Maybe Aunt Matilda really, really, really digs zombies and leaves a five star review while your mom leaves a one star review because she thinks the bad guy is based on her. And she doesn’t like your potty mouth.

    But as long as the review system is basically identical to how a customer rates the cheese sticks at TGIFriday’s, then I say all bets are off, folks! It’s the new game and if you are a writer then you are playing it already whether you want to or not. So get your head in the game, playa, and start playa-ing!

    Oh, and if you want to leave a review for any of my books, just click this link here! Please be honest, but don’t be afraid to get all cray cray. It’s how the system works, so why not, right?

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

    He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the forthcoming YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, and Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Psyche!

    Since I’m on a writing deadline, there’s just no time to create a drabble for tonight. Sorry. GIANT FROWNY FACE!

    But, hey, if you’re bored then check out a couple of my new releases! I shall now cut and paste from last week’s post with EXTREME PREJUDICE!

    Anti1Antibiotics.
    They have failed.
    All that’s left are the Strains- bacteria so strong they have brought the world to its knees.
    But humanity has fought on, carving out pockets of civilization in a wasteland known as the Sicklands, creating the super high-tech Clean Nation cities.
    And from the cities GenSOF has been born- Genetic Special Forces Operations. An elite military branch of the government that enlists men and women with specific genetic anomalies that allow them to be hosts to bacteria that even the Strains cannot defeat. Under the watchful eye of Control, GenSOF protects the Clean Nation cities from the ever encroaching Strains and the diseased inhabitants of the Sicklands.
    But now Control has other plans for GenSOF, and possibly the Clean Nation cities themselves, and it is up to the operators of GenSOF Zebra Squad, and their cloned Canine Units known as bug hounds, to find out what those plans are.
    Or die trying.

    Click that pic and go get ya some AntiBio action!

    And, guess what? Dead Team Alpha is $.99! But only for the next 3 hours! HURRY!

    DeadTeamAlpha-EcoverIn the post-apocalyptic, zombie infested wasteland, there is one beacon of safety in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains: The Stronghold.
    For decades, the inhabitants have fortified and defended the Stronghold from zombie hordes, building their society and culture on military precision.
    And chosen from the best of the best is Denver Team Alpha. DTA is the elite strike force used to rescue survivors and refugees that have made it to the hellish wasteland of Denver below. But because of the unbelievable risks, and high mortality rate, DTA has come to stand for something else: Dead Team Alpha.
    Now DTA will be put to the test as something far worse than zombies comes at them out of the wasteland.

    Click that pic and go get ya some Dead Team Alpha action!

     

    Cheers, Y’all!

  • Views From The Captain’s Chair! Episode Fifteen: The Writer’s Obligation?

    Captains ChairBlog

    Ahoy, Mateys!

    So, I had a great email exchange with a reader this week. It was one of those exchanges that helped me explain a little about my process. I have been granted permission to post the exchange, so I will. Then I’ll talk a little more about what it all means to me. I hope you all join in the discussion in the comments section. Keep it real and civil. No haters, yo!

    From reader:

    “I finished reading your book Z Burbia. I enjoyed it and the humor in it. Bought your second book. I hope you will be open minded when I say using insults in your book such as “fat fuck”, “fat cow” continue to bring a perception that fat people are lazy, ugly, and worth less than others who are not fat. Just to put it out front, yes I am myself overweight. The cause doesn’t matter. Fat people are fighting a perception battle that impacts their lives and families. This perception negatively effects their relationships, jobs and how society treats them as a whole. You,  I’m sure wouldn’t use derogatory wording with ethnic groups or physically or mentally disabled but people feel free to insult fat people for the sole crime of being over weight. I hope you understand my intent and that this isn’t a personal assault on you or your character. As an author you have the ability to shape our society. Thank you for taking the time to read this email. May you have success in all of your endeavors.
    Sincerely, REDACTED”

    My response:

    “Thank you for reaching out and for this thoughtful email.

    As a man that has yo-yo’ed my entire life, I personally get where you are coming from 100%. At my largest I was 265 (I’m 6 feet). I have a body type where I have to pay attention to what I eat or it goes straight to my gut. I get it, trust me. However, I am not my characters. In other novels I have characters that actually do put down ethnic/cultural groups and mentally disabled folk by calling them “nigger”, “spic”, “wetback”, “redneck”, “retard” and “faggot”. Yet I would never, ever use those words myself and would probably smack the shit out of someone that said them in my presence. But, as an author, I let my characters say what they say. They are “people” and people are flawed. I can’t have every character be perfect and golden or they wouldn’t be real. I hope you understand. And, let’s face it, my novels have murder, rape, cannibalism, religious cults, totalitarian regimes, serial killers, and some seriously disturbing imagery. I’m never going for huggy-feely with my words.

    With that said, I don’t want you to feel like I’m blowing you off because I’m not. I write YA and middle grade novels also (soon to be released by Permuted Platinum) and those novels do not have any of that in there. Well, one does, but as a learning lesson and the offender is chastised brutally by his peers. For kids, I set an example, for adults I let them handle life on their own. My wife and I are very aware of what we say to our children so they grow up with healthy ideas on body image. Where I shape society, and the future, is with my kids and how I act in real life.

    …

    Again, thank you for the email and please know that I am very aware of the impact every single word I use can have. Sometimes, I go for the negative impact because that’s where I want the gut punch to hit. And because I like to face my own personal demons head on!

    Thank you for reading!”

     

    The reader’s response to my response was very nice and we ended it on a great note.

    I think some authors would get upset about this type of email. If it was a different subject, I may have also. But like I said in my response, I totally understand the weight thing. I get it. Took me a long time to come to turns with my own body image issues.

    Yet…

    I don’t think authors should ever try to shape society with their writing. I just don’t. I think that compromises the work. Try too hard and it all sounds false.

    But this is coming from a writer that currently specializes in pulp horror/scifi/adventure/thrillers. I’m here to entertain, not educate.

    Ah, but if I offend, have I failed as an entertainer? That’s a question to ponder. If part of my audience doesn’t like something I’ve written because it hurts them on a personal level then am I doing my job?

    Yes. Because you can’t please everyone all the time. It goes back to last week’s post. Read Rule 4 and 5. You’ll see what I’m getting at. As a writer, I have to know that some readers will not like my work, for whatever their reasons are. Dem’s da breaks.

    One last thing I want to share is a quote from the reader’s response to my response. Here it goes: “I also thank you for changing how I will be reacting to fat remarks in books in the future.”

    As readers, people have the power to change how they perceive novels and entertainment. Instead of getting all up in arms because their specific hangups/pet peeves/worries/phobias/fears/sacred cows have been mentioned/defamed/killed/cooked on the grill with a delicious vinegar based BBQ sauce, people should use these types of situations to start a dialogue and open discussions with others that don’t feel the same way.

    That is how we change society, by taking our experiences and sharing them with others. If we are honest with ourselves then it is easier to be honest with others. And let’s face it folks, we could use a lot more honesty in this world, don’t ya think?

    So sound off! Do you think authors have an obligation to reflect positive change in their novels? How about if the novel is more about the negatives of society and not the positives? Where does an author draw the line between appropriate and not appropriate?

    If you have been reading my series of posts then you know I am not a fan of rules being imposed on writers. Or on anyone, for that matter. Not that I’m an anarchist, but, well…

    Come on, folks! Tell me what gets to you. Tell me what you think writers are obligated to do. Or not.

    Discuss!

    Cheers!

     

    Disclaimer: Views From The Captain’s Chair are just that: views. These are not laws. These are not set in stone. I could be totally wrong. I could be off my rocker (shut up). I could be full of S-H-I-T. I could change my mind next week. All of that is possible. Who knows? But if even just a little of this helps you then I’m happy with that. If it just makes you stop and think then I’ve done my job. Which I really need to get back to. Blogging don’t pay for the bourbon! Oh, and the whole Captain’s Chair thing? Yeah, I write in a captain’s chair. It’s true, Mateys! Got a question? Need some one on one? Shoot me an email, a DM, a PM (no BMs) or comment below.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids.

    Novelist, short story writer, independent screenwriter, podcaster, and inventor of the Drabble Novel, Jake is able to switch between or mash-up genres with ease to create new and exciting storyscapes that have captivated and built an audience of thousands.

    He is the author of the bestselling Z-Burbia series for Severed Press as well as the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the forthcoming YA zombie novel Little Dead Man, and Teen horror novel Intentional Haunting (both by Permuted Press).