• Here it is, another Friday, another Party, another fantabulous Drabble!

    I know you missed me last week, but I was busy doing this!

    You like? Great!

    Now how about some 100 word fiction? Oh, yeah!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    PERCY!
    By
    Jake Bible

    “You’d think with his complete lack of empathy, Carlton wouldn’t be so torn up,” Mungle said as he watched his co-worker writhe on the floor in anguish. “It’s just a hedgehog.”

    “You shouldn’t have stepped on it,” Timmons responded. “It was his first pet.”

    “Get a hold of yourself, man!” Mungle shouted.

    “Percy! PERCY!” Carlton cried out, his hands trying to rip at his close-cropped, blonde hair.

    “Ok, I’ve watched enough,” Timmons sighed. “Hand me the RPG. I want to double check it before the plane lands.”

    “Will do,” Mungle said, shaking his head at Carlton’s antics at their feet.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Do I have to say it? No actual hedgehogs were harmed in the writing of this drabble.

  • So, no Drabble Party tonight. Sorry. I am busy doing the 48 Hour FilmProject with Team Long Shot! For the next 48 hours we will be writing, shooting, performing, editing, and submitting our 4-7 minute short film for the Asheville 48 Film Festival competition. Wish us luck!

    Not sure what it is? Check it out here 48 Hour Film Project

    Last year we took Best Use Of Genre (Mockumentary) and Audience Award for Group A! Our winner is below! Enjoy!

    The Party will be back next week, for sure!

    Oh, and by the way, I signed a three book deal with Severed Press. Read more here Three Book Deal With Severed Press

    Cheers!

  • So I am pretty freakin’ stoked to announce that the Severed Press has picked up the Apex Trilogy!

    That’s right, folks, DEAD MECH, The Americans, and Metal and Ash will be re-born and re-released into the world! Severed Press is a small horror press that is making great strides in the publishing industry. Based in Australia, they have released some great horror fiction by authors such as Wrath James White, Tim Curran, and Eric S. Brown. They plan on updating the covers (So cherish the versions you have now! Collectors’ items!) and getting the entire trilogy out into the world again this summer (or winter down under).

    Why, you ask? Why go with a publisher when I have already self-published the series? Simple: I don’t like being a publisher. You know how I walked away from podcasting because of the time thing? Apply that to self-publishing. It takes a lot of time and energy and makes a writer a bit schizophrenic. I would much rather go with a publisher, even a small press like Severed, and let them deal with all the headaches of editing, formatting, cover design, proofing. I need time to just focus on writing. This doesn’t mean I’m not still self-publishing Natural Born Cyborgs. I am. It just means that the Apex Trilogy will have better exposure to publications and reviewers and I’ll have more time to focus on Natural Born Cyborgs since I won’t be as busy trying to hustle and pimp the Apex Trilogy.

    But rest assured that my hustling and pimping days are not over. Hell no, yo! I am a writer in the 21st century. I’ll be pimping the shit out of the Apex Trilogy! But I’ll have a publisher in my court, getting my back, on my side, another colloquialism, which is nice. Being solo is lonely. Sure, there are indie groups I could align with, but so many are reactionary and divisive. I’m just not that guy. This is writing, people, not the bloody French Revolution. No one’s lives are at stake, despite the hyperbole by the extremists on both sides of publishing.

    Which brings me to this: there are no sides in writing. It isn’t Us vs. Them. It isn’t Big vs. Indie/Self/Martyr. It isn’t about who gets the best percentage of royalties, or whether or not you have control over edits and cover. It’s about the writer and the reader. With this deal I get to reach more readers and spread the fun that is the Apex Trilogy. It’s like I’m Jakey Writerseed spreading my wonderful word herpes across the land! Across the WORLD! WORD HERPES FOR ALL!

    Ok, that was a bit much even for me.

    The bottom line is I will have all the privileges that go with being published. I want to expose more readers to my word herpes, I, Uh, need to stop saying that. I want to expose… Maybe not use the word expose? I want the Apex Trilogy to find new readers and to make a bigger impact in fiction than it has. I want it to gain more attention so maybe when it comes time to launch the comic book series, or a movie producer comes sniffing around, it will have a strong enough name as a franchise to get the dues it deserves.

    It isn’t about me, it’s about you- the reader. It’s about you- the fans. It’s about bringing the series to life in a way it hasn’t been fully able to under my watch. It’s about letting someone else be a cheerleader for a time.

    So, whoop, there it is. I am going to be an officially published author with all the treasure and warts that come with that. It may also mean my local bookstore will return my emails. Snobby bastards…

    Anyhoo, be on the lookout for more announcements about the release dates. And spread the word!

    Cheers!

  • Howdy!

    I am essentially hedonistic in nature. I’ll admit that. Basically, if it isn’t fun I’m not going to do it (excluding the life necessities that keep my family alive and stuff like that.)

    But, due to the SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER SEASON OF GIANT BLOCKBUSTER FILMS, there are a lot of people on the MIGHTY INTERNET that seem intent on not only having zero fun, but of mocking and shaming folks because they did have fun. It’s getting bad, people. B-A-D spells moon bad. So for today’s post I figured I’d talk about having fun for fun’s sake!

    I’m also going to say something that could hurt me in the online community: I’m not a geek. Now, I am using the stereotyped geek definition here, not the carnival freak that bites the heads off chickens. I am one of those (just kidding…?). I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a geek, not at all! Let your geek flag fly! I wouldn’t have readers or listeners without the wonderful people that have embraced my fiction. Y’all rock!

    I’m also not denying I don’t have one foot firmly planted in the geek world. I’d be lying if I said that. I’d also be lying if I didn’t admit to my years of D&D and MERP late nights. Plus, my comic book collection. And, my… Hmmmm, maybe I doth protest too much? I guess I’m really saying if I found myself in a geek throwdown I’d be handed my butt in two seconds. I know a lot, but I’m just not quite obsessive enough (Obsessive? Is that the right word?) to be considered a full blown geek. What I can say with certainty is that I am not anywhere close to a specific type of geek. You know the type of geek I’m talking about: the one that has difficulty actually enjoying anything they watch/read/listen to without tearing it apart.

    I just don’t get that mindset. I can’t go there.

    To explain why I don’t get it, let me talk about me some more because you all want to hear about me. I know I do.

    I love scifi. Always have. I love all the genres, really. From comedy (Eureka style) to full on gut gripping terror (Event Horizon), I dig it all. Of course, that doesn’t mean I can’t tell the difference between bad scifi and good scifi. Bad scifi is half of what Hollywood puts out, while good scifi is Joss Whedon, Battlestar Galactica, Orphan Black (and many others). But, I appreciate fun scifi most of all. If I am having a good time watching/reading/listening to something then that is all that matters. I do not care that the core processor being used would never be able to fire up the sub-space uberdrive’s dimensional potential because it can only process 100 TBs per millisecond. That makes no difference to me as long as the story is fun. Why doesn’t it make a difference? Because it’s science fiction! None of it is real! None of it! It’s a made-up story in a world that doesn’t exist. Even the “realistic” science-based scifi is still fiction. And all of that goes for  horror, fantasy, comic books and their adaptations on the big and small screen as well. It isn’t real and there are no rules when something isn’t real.

    Of course, if something sucks (like really, really, really sucks) then it isn’t going to be fun.

    Except… The cheese!

    Now, I am using the cultural entertainment definition of cheese, not the dairy-based foodstuffs definition (but I do love that foodstuffs!). I am a HUGE fan of cheese! I love the “so bad, it’s good” scifi out there. I mean the SyFy channel cranks that out by the buttload and I just can’t keep up. I don’t even try anymore. One of my favorite memories of my childhood was the first time I ever saw Plan 9 From Outer Space on late night cable. Oh, the joy! It was so incredibly bad that even as a small child I could see the flaws. But, man, was it fun to watch! The horrible acting, the non-existent sets beyond cardboard and curtains, the flying saucers with the strings showing! Perfection! My son and I talk about this movie constantly with great fondness. It is a masterpiece.

    Take everything I have said above and apply it to all genres and you know how I roll. I like to have fun and I refuse to pick something apart just to pick it apart. Why even watch/read/listen to anything if you aren’t even going to try to enjoy it?

    This is why I doubt you will ever see me review anything or really even comment about it. I just can’t get to that place. I can have a good hearty discussion like the next person and I do have strong opinions about certain pieces of work (I can never get the two and a half hours back that I wasted watching Titanic in the theater. I still get sick to my stomach thinking about it). But, who the heck am I to say what is good and what isn’t? I’m a writer and I know how those reviews feel.

    So, if you take anything from this post, let it be that it is okay to have fun! It is okay to enjoy yourself even if the movie/book/TV show/podcast isn’t perfect or as good as you thought it should be OR as good as someone else thought it should be! You don’t have to justify your enjoyment, you don’t have to worry that you will be thought less of, you don’t have to worry at all! Don’t be afraid to taste the cheese! Don’t be afraid to enjoy something without a care in the world what other people think!

    Sometimes, almost ALL the time, it’s just better to have FUN for FUN’S sake!

    And with that I leave you this!

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: This is a generalization! I am not saying all geeks argue the details, thus ruining the entertainment value of a product. I’m just saying, well, you know what I’m saying and you know the type I’m talking about. If you don’t know what I’m saying and want to argue about this then please re-read my post. Thanks!

  • Friday has risen and it is hungry for Drabbles!

    Good thing I have one for it tonight. You’ll be able to read it below before it is devoured.

    I also have many more drabbles for Friday in the form of One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short. This is currently free on Amazon! Go get yourself a copy. Have your friends, family, neighbors, enemies get a copy too! If we get it into the Top Ten of any bestseller list on Amazon then I will record it and put it in the audio feed. That means you can buy it and not even have to read it yourself! ALL FOR FREE! What a country!

    So get to that.

    And now for tonight’s Drabble…

    Enjoy!

    ***

    The Problem
    By
    Jake Bible

    The split up the backside of her jeans wasn’t the problem; being larger than most girls she’d split her seat plenty of times before.

    The entire cafeteria laughing wasn’t the problem; she’d dealt with that many times.

    The laughter by the football team, especially her secret crush, wasn’t the problem either; he was the star quarterback and she knew she never had a chance.

    The building rage that boiled over and turned into a blinding, murderous wave of energy wasn’t the problem; that was pretty cool, actually.

    No, the problem was: what would she do with all the bodies?

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: At no point do I condone mass murder by telekinesis.