• Another Friday, another Party!

    You like the drabbles, huh? Do ya, huh? Oh, I know ya do!

    So how about we just get to it, eh? Just dive right into tonight’s 100 words, huh? You like that? Do ya?

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Digging Began…
    By
    Jake Bible

    The photos were posted at 8:53pm on May 23rd, 2013. They were shared by several students for the next two hours before they went viral.

    Tina found out at 12:47am on May 24th, 2013. Her first reaction wasn’t shock or embarrassment, but pure rage. Sweet, homicidal rage. If her father saw those pictures…

    The plan was devised at 3:25am on May 24th, 2013. Tools were bagged; duct tape and plastic were bagged; shovel was obtained.

    The photos’ hard drive disappeared at 6:13am May 24th, 2013. The hard drive’s owner disappeared minutes later.

    Digging began at 8:32am on May 24th, 2013…

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Bullying is bad. Murder is just as bad. Except when…

  • There is a fine line for authors when it comes to promotion and marketing. And I wish I knew where that line is.

    I am currently working out my Twitter strategy by using a program called TweetAdder. I know, I know, it is one of those programs. But it does help me a lot. I can create tweets that get sent on a regular basis and also get repeated. While for some, this may seem like that dreaded douchebaggery, for me it is essential. I have had a couple followers tell me they know I’m repeating some tweets, but the cool thing is that even a tweet I have sent out ten times still gets new responses from folks that didn’t see it before.

    This is good.

    Part of what Twitter is about is to strike up a conversation. Sure, I use it to promote my work, but only a small percentage of my tweets are promotion. What it’s really good for, at least for me, is connecting with fans, friends, and colleagues. But, I also have a day job and must be writing during down time, so I can’t be tweeting all day. Using something like TweetAdder lets me send out tweets and then respond and reply to anyone that replies to me. I start a conversation, and with a little monitoring in my “mentions” feed I can see if people are conversing back. It is great.

    But, is it really helpful? Am I losing an audience when they see the same tweet today that they just saw two weeks ago? Am I gaining anything by automating my Twitter persona? I don’t know.

    The other thing TweetAdder allows me to do is look at other authors’ follower lists and poach them. Well, not really. Ok, sort of. I am able to import those lists and start going through them and following their followers by checking out profiles and tweets. That has been a huge help! I am getting messages now from fans of mine that I started following that didn’t know I was on Twitter! Because I have gone through other authors’ lists I have been able to connect with fans that wouldn’t have discovered me on Twitter on their own.

    TweetAdder also lets me go over my list of those I follow and see who I haven’t had conversations with ever/sometimes/often, as well as those I follow that aren’t active on Twitter or may be bots. (No offense to any bots reading this. I know you’re working hard to get me hard and sell me SEO services.) I haven’t really used this feature at all. I do plan on it and will be culling my list that I follow soon. My timeline is getting messy.

    So why call this post Delicate Douchebaggery? Because it is the Internet and everyone has their set of rules and procedures and laws and commandments and WAYS THINGS MUST BE DONE BECAUSE THE INTERNET IS ONLY FREE IF YOU ACT EXACTLY AS A TOTAL STRANGER WANTS YOU TO.

    That’s why.

    While some who read this won’t give a rat’s ass made out of styrofoam, there are others that will be OFFENDED GREATLY. Which is the exact reason I am talking about this. I want it out in the open that this is how I play the Twitter game (no need to talk about the Facebook game because there isn’t one. Facebook is just necessary suckage). I use certain tools to help me maximize my Twitter use. And so far the tools work for me. They may not work for you. They may not work for Joe Hill or John Scalzi or CC Chapman or Neil Gaiman. But they work for me. And that’s what matters.

    And that’s really all I have to say. So if you see a tweet that you’ve seen before then feel free to call me out on it on Twitter. I don’t mind at all. It gives me a chance to strike a conversation with you. Who knows, maybe we’ll discover we have some things in common. Or that I really am a douchebag. Or both. We’ll see.

    Jake Bible lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and two kids. He is the author the Apex Trilogy (DEAD MECH, The Americans, Metal and Ash), Bethany and the Zombie Jesus, Stark- An Illustrated Novella, and the YA horror novels Little Dead Man (November 2012) and the forthcoming Intentional Haunting (2013). Check out Friday Night Drabble Party every week! Free drabbles for all!  His Twitter handle is @jakebible.

  • Friday! Night! Drabble! Party!

    Free 100 word fiction for your eyeholes to see and your brainpan to loooooove! LOVE THEM!

    Hey! Did you know I have more drabble goodness published? If you love the Party then you’ll love these!

    C-Notes: A Collection of 100 Drabbles

    One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short

    Have a look, have a read, enjoy!

    ***

    Never Admit To A Job
    By
    Jake Bible

    The cigarette burned until it was nothing but ash. Carlotta didn’t care, she just lit another and placed it between Dirk’s lifeless fingers.

    “So, like I was saying,” Carlotta continued, far from finished with her post-assassination narrative. “It wasn’t anything personal. Just business.” The door opened and Carlotta turned to face her boss and his assistant. “He’s all yours. Don’t kill him until I’m gone.”

    And she left, leaving the assistant puzzled. “Don’t kill him? The guy’s missing half his face.”

    “She never admits to a job,” the boss replied. “Ever.”

    The assistant shrugged and started to pour the gasoline.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: This drabble is not legal advice. Please seek a lawyer’s consultation for your own workplace deniability.

  • While you are reading this I will be drinking beer and playing bocce ball. We’ll debate later who has the best deal.

    Enjoy!

    ***

    300
    By
    Jake Bible

    “Turn, flick fingers like such, grab crotch, and PRESTO!” Harmon shouted, the spell book open before him, his unimpressed cat looking on unimpressed.

    Nothing happened.

    “Damn!” Harmon yelled. “It should have brought forth a freakin’ djinn! I want my three wishes!”

    “300,” a voice said from behind him. “You get 300 now. Inflation.”

    “Holy crap!” Harmon squeaked as he spun about and came face to floating face with Garbnocturamis, the world’s greatest djinn.

    “World’s Greatest should be capitalized,” he suggested.

    Sorry, my bad. The World’s Greatest Djinn.

    “Better. Now, let’s move on to those 300 wishes,” Garbnocturamis said to Harmon.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: I am not too lazy to write a longer introduction! I just have beer and bocce on the mind! Sheesh!

  • I think Thursday and Saturday are getting jealous. They’ve been giving Friday the stink eye. Well, all I have to say, is that they can get their own damn Drabble Party!

    100 words of hot Friday action is coming your way!

    No chitter. No chatter. Just gettin’ right into the drabbley goodness you’ve come to expect on Fridays.

    Enjoy!

    ***

    The Real World
    By
    Jake Bible

    The bills piled up and the creditors didn’t even bat an eye at the lies he told.

    “Can’t you reason with them?” his wife asked. “They have to know we aren’t the only ones in this mess.”

    He didn’t bother to respond, his thoughts busy plotting his next move. Legal means had been exhausted; so it was on to other means. Any means, really. Any means at all.

    By the time the police caught up with him he had secured enough cash to get them out of their problems. But he’d really just traded one set of problems for another.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Any “alleged” crimes committed in the writing of this drabble were purely for “research” purposes. Yeah…research…