Jake Bible Fiction

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Yay for Friday! Or as I like to call it “One Day Closer To Death So Let’s Go Rob A Bank” day!

    I kid. Unless you happen to know of a team of criminals looking to apprentice a broke writer. I don’t have much experience, but damn if I don’t have enthusiasm! LET’S GO ROB A BANK!

    Okay, okay, enough with the funny stuff. Time to get serious. And by serious I mean GIANT MUTANT DINOSAURS AND CANNIBAL CAVEMEN!

    Mega 4: Behemoth Island is available for your ebook pleasure!

    Behemoth-Island-ebook-coverJust look at the awesome cover! You know you want to read the book! Do it! DO IT!

    And now for our regularly scheduled drabble!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Make Excuses
    By
    Jake Bible

    My total amount of giving a shit is equal to the exact amount of I don’t give a fuck. It’s really that simple.

    “You make excuses, Blane,” I say. “You make excuses and then you hide behind them. You’re like a fucking terrorist that uses children as human shields.”

    I don’t really think Blane’s a terrorist. I also don’t blame him for making excuses. If I was getting the holy shit beat out of me, I’d make excuses too.

    I wipe the snot and blood from his face with his own sleeve.

    “Now, where is the cash, bitch?” I snarl.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Seriously, I’d make a great getaway driver or bag man. Send me a PM, DM, or IM. No BMs, though.

  • A MEGA New Release!

    It is here! Mega 4: Behemoth Island has arrived and is ready to chomp your head off and swallow it without chewing!

    [Health Note: Always chew your food thoroughly, kids.]

    So click that pic and return to the insane world of Team Grendel! All of your favorite characters are back! Kinsey, Darren, Thorne, Darby, Ballantine, Lucy, the Reynolds Brothers (they never shut up!), Mike, Gunnar- sheesh, how many awesome characters are there? NOT ENOUGH!

    Get to readin’, y’all! GET TO IT!

    Behemoth-Island-ebook-coverRunning from the world, their ship crippled, their supplies dangerously low, Team Grendel follow Ballantine’s lead to a promised paradise. A place where they can hide and regroup, rest and plan the next step in their lives.

    If only life were so simple.

    Within hours of arriving at their idyllic island, Team Grendel and the crew of the Beowulf III quickly realize that once again they have been thrust into a nightmare of gigantic proportions. One might say it is a behemoth of a bad dream!

    Giant dinosaurs! Man-eating plants! Cannibal cavemen with a hunger for fresh meat! Behemoth Island puts Team Grendel in the middle of Hell and doesn’t let up until the beaches are covered in blood and the jungles are burning!

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Another week is here and gone. That means it is time for a FRIDAY NIGHT DRABBLE PARTY!

    Hooyah!

    Before we get to the micro-fiction of greatness (GREATNESS!), I’m a gonna pimp a book. Because that’s what I do. I pimp my books. It helps pay the bills.

    LITTLE DEAD MAN! Only $.99! A great YA zombie apocalypse novel that is filled with tons of action, gore, suspense, thrills, chills, and horror! HORROR! Get it for less than a can of soda! $.99!

    LDM CoverNow, on with the show!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Team Player
    By
    Jake Bible

    “Do you want the position or not?” Mr. Clarence asked Robert. “Because we’re only looking for team players here, Bobby.”

    “Rob,” Robert whispered as he tried to keep his hand steady. “I go by-.”

    “Don’t care,” Mr. Clarence said. “You’re now Bobby. A team player gets that. Are you a team player?”

    “Yes, sir,” Robert replied. His palm was slick with sweat and he felt like he would pass out at any second. “But why do I have to kill him?”

    “Easier for HR or something,” Mr. Clarence said. “Now pull the trigger and his job is yours, team player.”

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: The corporate life is the life for me!

  • Writing In Suburbia #15: It All Happens At The Bar

    This week on Writing In Suburbia I fight Mexican drug cartels while my sidekick, Johnny Guns, woos the local madame to get information on the deadly Russian plot to take over Murica!

    Or I talk about networking and the importance of friendships and professional connections in the industry. In essence: why writers drink so much.

    It all happens at the bar!

    Plus I decide it’s a good day to wash sheets.

    Enjoy!

    Subscribe to the show here:

    RSS- http://jakebible.libsyn.com/rss

    iTunes- https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/writing-in-suburbia/id334464270?mt=2

  • Friday Night Drabble Party!

    Well, it may be a wet and rainy Friday here in good ol’ Western North Carolina, but that won’t stop the Party!

    Of course, as it sometimes happens, I have some pimpin’ to do before we get to the 100 words of goodness.

    Reign Of Four: I is on sale for $.99! This is only for a week, so hurry your ass up and get the first novel in the series that has been compared to George R.R. Martin’s Game Of Thrones, but in space! SPACE! After the deal is over this puppy goes back up to $5.99. Do the math, people. (I’ll do it for you) You save $5 if you buy it right now! RIGHT NOW! So, hurry and get the low, low price of $.99 for a novel that is perfect for lovers of space opera, historical fiction, and regal fantasy! ACT NOW!

    Reign of FourI_Cover

    Okay, enough shilling, time to get to the drabble!

    Enjoy!

    ***

    Not Jelly
    By
    Jake Bible

    The cup of coffee had long since gone cold by the time Malcolm was able to tear his eyes away from it and look at the gun that lay upon the kitchen table.

    He studied the curves, the blued steel, the way the thing looked heavy even though it was only his .22 target pistol.

    His eyes went from the gun to the strawberry jelly that covered the table around it. The dark red and hunks of fruit.

    “Not jelly,” he whispered to himself.

    He picked up his phone and dialed 911, ready to report what his wife had done.

    ***

    Cheers!

    Disclaimer: Hug the ones you love.