Author Archives: jakebible
Oh, it is on like Donkey Kong! Welcome back to another Friday Night Drabble Party!
Can I get a woo to the hoo, y’all?
Okay, as y’all know, I have a lot going on. A lot going on. A lot. Going on. So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m posting pics below and maybe one will catch your eye. New novel (Outpost Hell). New novel available for pre-order (Stone Cold Bastards) with a fine t-shirt giveaway. New audiobook out (Drop Team Zero). A novel that has killed it in the SciFi charts and continues to get great reviews and is available in audiobook (Roak). So much going on. Click a pic and be transported to what suits yer fancy.
Now, how about we get to those 100 words of awesome?
A Small Woman
Tera sprinted across the grass, her feet slipping in the damp dew of the early morning. Her lungs burned and her calves had begun to cramp, but she didn’t dare slow.
Her only thoughts were to get to her daughter before that hatch closed. As if she could do anything against the machine that had come for the children. As if a small woman, petite since birth, could fight off the empire and take back the thing most precious to her in the world.
Tera screamed as the armored truck pulled away, spitting gravel in her face.
Disclaimer: If you can read this, you are too close.
Time for another night of 100 words! Only 100 words! No other words are allowed! If you are holding other words, put them down right now. PUT THEM DOWN!
Ha. I kid. You can hold as many words as you want.
Know what else you can hold? Or, better yet, wear? A Stone Cold Bastards t-shirt!
In order to enter, pre-order Stone Cold Bastards here, then send proof of your purchase to email@example.com. The contest is open to anyone who has already pre-ordered and anyone else who pre-orders by 11:59 PM on 2/23 (Print or ebook versions). Two winners will be chosen and notified of their status on Monday, 2/27. Contest is only open to US residents.
Oh, oh, and guess what? Outpost Hell is available!
Of course, you can get all this news first if you subscribe to the mailing list. Just sayin’.
Now, on to the Drabble!
A punch to the head was better than a kick to the balls.
It was a philosophy I’d lived by for most of my life. Hard to fault the logic in it.
Unless the punch to the head is done by a seven-foot tall, monster of a man. Fists like bowling balls. Heavy and solid. Solid enough to knock me halfway across the room and want to cry for my mommy.
Of course, my loaded pistol was better than his fist. Hard philosophy to learn for a big guy like that. I had no problem teaching it to him.
Disclaimer: FAKE DRABBLE!
Welcome back to another episode of Writing In Suburbia. Episode #50! Woo Hoo!
In this episode I talk about how to stay motivated in the face of this hell that our country and world has become. I go into great detail, and rant quite a bit, about how hard it is to keep writing escapist fiction. I also talk about how escapist fiction is what folks are looking for.
Did I mention the rant?
Enjoy the episode.
Finally! Another episode of Writing In Suburbia is up.
In this episode I talk about how in order to be successful in the publishing biz you have to learn to adapt. Not so much compromise, as just learn to go with the flow and tweak your outlook to be included in that flow. I touch on a lot of topics in this episode, so it’s not one to miss.
Friday is here and the dawn of another great weekend is before us! Huzzah!
Before you get too cozy and settle in to read tonight’s drabble, I need to let you know that something pretty cool is happening.
Z-Burbia is available as a Limited Edition Hardcover! Check out that cover!
Now, when I say limited I mean limited. Only 52 signed and numbered copies will be printed. This is a collectors edition, folks. And copies will only be available for pre-order for the next 12 days. I kid you not. If you want a copy, and you do, then you best be ordering ASAP!
Alright, enough shilling! Time for the 100 words you have all been dying to read for a week now!
In A Pinch
If no other weapons are available, pasta will do in a pinch. Uncooked, of course.
I learned that the hard way. Or easy way. Depends on how you look at it.
Gun empty, out of extra magazines, my knife halfway across the kitchen, the kitchen’s knives on one of those goddamn magnetic strips all the way across the room, pots and pans out of reach, and three bullets in my right leg. Two in the calf, one in the thigh, if you need to know.
That left pasta. Linguine, specifically.
The trick is to aim for the eyes.
Disclaimer: Watch the carbs.