While you are reading this I will be drinking beer and playing bocce ball. We’ll debate later who has the best deal.
“Turn, flick fingers like such, grab crotch, and PRESTO!” Harmon shouted, the spell book open before him, his unimpressed cat looking on unimpressed.
“Damn!” Harmon yelled. “It should have brought forth a freakin’ djinn! I want my three wishes!”
“300,” a voice said from behind him. “You get 300 now. Inflation.”
“Holy crap!” Harmon squeaked as he spun about and came face to floating face with Garbnocturamis, the world’s greatest djinn.
“World’s Greatest should be capitalized,” he suggested.
Sorry, my bad. The World’s Greatest Djinn.
“Better. Now, let’s move on to those 300 wishes,” Garbnocturamis said to Harmon.
Disclaimer: I am not too lazy to write a longer introduction! I just have beer and bocce on the mind! Sheesh!
So, three weeks ago I launched the Pre-order Natural Born Cyborgs campaign. I have pretty much laid low since then so that I wasn’t beating everyone about the head and neckle area. The voting was pretty intense and I was certainly posting and shouting about that for a couple of weeks. I figured y’all needed a breather.
Now I am back!
I have a ton going on right now and it is all overlapping in a tasty word lasagna in my not quite (yet) fried brainpan. Since there is so much to talk about I will break things down into categories. Here we go:
1. The Natural Born Cyborgs Pre-order
There have been six backers so far which puts us at 10% of the $2000 goal that needs to be hit before I start writing the novel. For more info click on the handy cover up to your right or that handy button up top in the menu. Or HERE! By the way, that cover you see to the right is just a place holder. It’s not the actual finished cover. So back the hell off, haters! If you are already a backer then be sure to spread the word about NBC. The sooner we hit the initial funding the sooner the novel is written and published! And if you haven’t backed it yet then you should go do that right now. I’ll wait for you. No hurry. That’s it, just click the order button. Okay, now fill in your PayPal info or credit card info. You’re almost there…and…BAM! Don’t you feel like a real human being now? I thought so.
2. What I Learned From The Voting
As you know (because you hang on every word I write/speak/tweet/post) I asked my fans and readers to vote on which novel I write next. Natural Born Cyborgs won handily, but there were a couple runners up that I couldn’t ignore. Big Box Blood Bath came in second which really surprised me. I would never have picked that one to get so much support. It really taught me that my idea of having my audience pick which novel to write next was a good idea. That title would have sat around in my Idea Shed ($49 + tax at IKEA) for a long time. I love the idea, but never thought it would gain as much support as it did. The voting also showed me that ideas I thought would dominate didn’t dominate in any way, shape or form. I could have spent months writing something that no one wanted to read. Go me for letting folks pick what they want to read! GO ME! And go you for voting! GO YOU!
Which leads to…
3. Big Box Blood Bath- The Serial
I have written Episode One of Big Box Blood Bath (B-cubed, yo) and am almost done with Episode Two. What does this mean? It means that first I am going to pitch the serial to Amazon. You hear that, Amazon? I’m coming for you! Why submit to Amazon first? Why not just self-publish? Well, because I would rather have the Amazon juggernaut behind me. Plus, a relationship with Amazon publishing could lead to other projects down the line.
Why serialize? Good question. An easy one to answer. When I first started writing I released my first novel, DEAD MECH, as a serialized podcast novel. I was writing the novel as I was podcasting it. This is not advised, but it was fun to do. The cool thing was I didn’t know what was going to happen next any more than my listeners did. I want that feeling again with Big Box Blood Bath. I want to have the story wide open for any idea that comes into my head. I want to publish one episode without knowing what will happen in the next episode. I want to discover the characters, the story, the action, the intrigue, at the same time as my readers.
I also don’t want it to end. At least not for a while. With Amazon serials they do end and get turned into a full-length novel after the episode run. But, if I don’t go with Amazon and self-publish each episode then I plan on keeping the serial open ended. It will become more of a TV show than a novel. It could go on for years and years, or it could end after a few episodes if there aren’t enough readers. Who knows, right? As a writer moving from one project to another all the time it will be nice to have a constant project in the works. And an every two week release schedule for episodes that will be between 7,000-10,000 words in length is an easy schedule to keep. I think y’all are going to like this.
4. The DEAD MECH Comic Book
You read that right: I am writing the DEAD MECH comic book. I have the script for Issue #1 done and out for submission to a few comic book publishers. So, if you feel like emailing Dark Horse Comics and crowing about DEAD MECH then you should do that. It’s a free country and who am I to get in the way?
Now, if Dark Horse, or the couple other comic book publishers I submitted to, decide to pass on DEAD MECH then foo on them. FOO ON THEM! But not foo on me. Or you. Us. We have the ability to make the DEAD MECH comic book happen. Via Kickstarter, of course! Comic books are very popular on Kickstarter. They not only tend to get funded, but they tend to get overfunded. I like that. The trick is I will have to put a team together. I’ll need a penciler, inker (inkist?), colorist, letterer, and formatterist. Or someone that can do all of that. I have the words covered, just need the pretty, pretty pictures. If you are interested, or know of someone that is, then have them shoot me an email. Contact info is up above under “About Jake Bible“.
The great thing about a DEAD MECH comic book is that I can expand on the world and characters I have already created. I can expand some scenes from the novel that I thought needed more work or I can cut scenes all together that really aren’t important. I get to revise the world of DEAD MECH without having to revise the entire novel itself. That’s the beauty of adaptations! I also will have The Americans waiting in the wings. That will have to be its own series since it can’t really be incorporated into the DEAD MECH storyline without giving a ton of info away. Universe building FTW!
5. DEAD MECH mobile game?
Could happen. I know a guy. He has ideas. He has mobile game making skills. I trust the shit out of him not to screw it up. Playing GI Joes in elementary school together builds that kind of trust. That guy knew how to put a HISS tank to use! I’m sure he can make a 50 foot battle mech play awesome on a tiny screen. This is still in the “talking about it” stage, so no timeline as of yet. We shall see where it goes.
6. Mobilizing The Deader Army
I need to organize my fan base a bit better. And I am looking for input. Leave a comment below or email me if you want to help build up my fan base and exposure to the world. A few key people cheerleading can make all the difference. And I will gladly reward those that help. Sneak peeks at novels or works in progress. Custom written stories. Becoming a character in a new book. That kind of stuff. Help from others means I have more time for writing. That is a good thing.
It has been suggested by more than one person that my fans should be called Deaders (after the name of the zombies and dead mechs in the Apex Trilogy). I like that. Deaders or Deader Army work just fine. How does that sound to you? Want to be a Deader in the Deader Army? I know you do! I have no specific plan in mind right now, so again, suggestions are welcome. Let’s brainstorm and figure out how we can overtake the world of genre fiction one corpse at a time! (There will be no actual corpses harmed in the making of the Army)
I know that quitting podcasting has bummed a few people out. There are those, for various reasons, that audio is their preferred way to consume fiction. I totally get that. So I will say that the audiobooks of my novels will happen. Just not right away. After looking at the costs involved, I have decided I will record and produce the audiobooks myself. I have the skills needed to do that. The trick is finding the time. That’s why this is number 7 on the list of topics to talk about.
The plan is to re-record DEAD MECH completely. I have The Americans done and Metal and Ash started. Little Dead Man will be on the list also. I could also do the Bethany collection. Possibly Big Box Blood Bath? I would need to figure out how to serialize that as a pay audiobook. Hmmm… To the researchmobile!
So, be glad to know that my dulcet tones will soothe your earholes sometime in the future once more. Just not right away. And, unfortunately, not for free.
8. Future Projects
I have a crap ton (not to be confused with a shit ton or crap load) of ideas for future projects.
I do plan on starting the sequel to Little Dead Man this year. I have a killer idea that will make the sequel even better than the first one. If you haven’t read this novel then you should get on that. It’s pretty damn good, if I do say so myself. Which I just did.
I also want to develop more comic books. It was a learning curve figuring our the comic book script format, but now that I have the hang of it I can crank those puppies out! Writing a comic book script is freeing in many ways. It’s like writing a screenplay, but with a trillion times more freedom to do whatever you want. In addition to DEAD MECH and the rest of the Apex Trilogy, I’d love to adapt Bethany and the Zombie Jesus into a series of graphic novels called: The Wardens of the Zombie Jesus. Each graphic novel will tell the story of one of the people tasked with being a Warden and burdened with the keeping and imprisonment of Zombie Jesus. Also, remember the novel ideas for PAIN and for Stone Cold Bastards? They would make great comic books!
And there will be novels! Not just Natural Born Cyborgs or the Little Dead Man sequel, but other novels. Novels galore! I’d still like to write a series based on the exploits of Stone and Reginald from the Apex Trilogy. Quick novels with a very pulp feel. I am also planning my grand novel set in Depression era thirties. Guns, bootlegging, racial tensions, guns, sex, violence, guns, and very fast cars. Very. Fast. Cars. And guns. That one will be a long way down the line as I am carefully plotting and planning it. It needs care to grow. But grow it shall!
And, by the time you are done reading this, I will probably have six million more ideas that I want to work on. I’ll keep you posted.
9. What Has Just Released
I have also been busy releasing a couple of ebooks!
I also just published C-Notes: A Collection Of 100 Drabbles on ebook. $2.99 for 100 drabbles is pretty darn nice! Hop on over and grab a copy of that one while you are grabbing One Foggy Night. I mean, you know, since you’re already shopping.
10. In Conclusion…
…I am one busy mofo. I have enough ideas/projects to keep me working for the next couple of years. My goal -my very, very, very ambitious, HUGE goal- is to be writing full time in 2014. That means a lot of what I have written about above will need to happen. Let’s hope it does. Any help you, dear reader, would like to throw my way to get me to that goal will be rewarded. The one thing modern publishing has taught me is that writing is no longer a solitary endeavor. It takes a community now to make a novel, and/or writer, successful in today’s world. You want to help build that community with me? Then SUPER AWESOME TO YOU! I am open to any and all suggestions. I may not like them; I may fight them kicking and screaming; Or I may make sweet, sweet love to them. No matter what, I am open. Like a book.
And be sure and pre-order Natural Born Cyborgs! Limited edition hardcover (signed and numbered), the audiobook, and signed ebook (epub and mobi files)!!!
I think Thursday and Saturday are getting jealous. They’ve been giving Friday the stink eye. Well, all I have to say, is that they can get their own damn Drabble Party!
100 words of hot Friday action is coming your way!
No chitter. No chatter. Just gettin’ right into the drabbley goodness you’ve come to expect on Fridays.
The Real World
The bills piled up and the creditors didn’t even bat an eye at the lies he told.
“Can’t you reason with them?” his wife asked. “They have to know we aren’t the only ones in this mess.”
He didn’t bother to respond, his thoughts busy plotting his next move. Legal means had been exhausted; so it was on to other means. Any means, really. Any means at all.
By the time the police caught up with him he had secured enough cash to get them out of their problems. But he’d really just traded one set of problems for another.
Disclaimer: Any “alleged” crimes committed in the writing of this drabble were purely for “research” purposes. Yeah…research…
Again I bring the Party to your eyeholes via bits and bytes! Viva la internet!
So, in addition to tonight’s mighty, mighty drabble, I also have some other 100 word goodness for you!
I just published two new ebooks! The first is One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short, a short story (yes, made of drabbles!) that sheds some light on the origins of some of your favorite DEAD MECH characters. Have a read! Oh, and it has been in and out of the Amazon charts for the past couple of days. Buy that $.99 sucker and let’s see if we can keep it in the charts!
Hmmm, that gives me an idea. I bet some of you would like to hear this story. I’ll make y’all a deal. If we can get this short story into the Top Ten of any category on Amazon then I will record it and release it for free! How does that sound?
The other eBook is C-Notes: A Collection of 100 Drabbles. This guy compiles some of the Friday Night Drabble Party drabbles as well as others I have written over the years. You get 100 drabbles all in one collection! Have a looksee and get your bad self a copy!
Now, how about tonight’s drabble?
He tore open the box and the bag and didn’t even bother with a handful, just tipped the bag up and let the crunchy goodness fill his mouth. The cereal was beyond stale and probably moldy, but he really didn’t give a shit.
It was the first food he’d eaten in six days.
It took all of his willpower to set the cereal aside and not stuff himself sick. He looked longingly at the box, but knew he had to make it last. He didn’t expect to outlive the radiation sickness, but he didn’t want to starve to death either.
Disclaimer: I got 99 problems and 100 words ain’t one of ‘em.
Well, hello there!
So, looks like I have been busy with things other than Natural Born Cyborgs.
I have published two new eBooks! The first one, One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short, is just that, a prequel short story set in the world of DEAD MECH. I have plans for this guy. It is currently free on Smashwords and Kobo, but $.99 on Amazon and B&N. I’d love for it to be free on every retailer site. Sooooo, if someone were to let Amazon and B&N know that it is free elsewhere they would be forced to cut that $.99 price down to zero. Just saying.
One Foggy Night: A DEAD MECH Prequel Short-
Years before the events in DEAD MECH, many of the characters find themselves in one city/state at the same time. Foreshadowing events to come, One Foggy Night is a prequel short to DEAD MECH. Get a peak at Masters, Harlow, Jay Rind, Bisby, Stanislaw, and the Rookie years before their fates are sealed. Blood, sex, action, murder, and moonshine- in the Wasteland anything is possible!
The other new eBook is C-Notes: A Collection of 100 Drabbles. This guy is a compilation of drabbles from Friday Night Drabble Party and also others that I have written over the years. You like 100 word stories? You like a collection with 100 stories in it? Then you’ll love this!
C-Notes: A Collection Of 100 Drabbles-
Giant aliens. Tortured writers. Post-apocalyptic cannibals. Zombies. Vampires. Werewolves. Gangsters. Mad fowl. Devils. And God.
Just a few of the subjects in C-Notes: A Collection of 100 Drabbles. Drabbles are stories exactly 100 words long and C-Notes is chock-a-block full of these crazy stories ranging from bloodthirsty maniacs to militarized turkeys fighting for their very existence! What? It can happen! Kick back, grab a beverage, and enjoy the insanity of 100 stories all in one collection!
You may click on the eBook covers or click below on your favorite retailer. Enjoy!