Category Archives: Friday Night Drabble Party

Friday Night Drabble Party

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Spring break, bitches!

Yep, I will be heading down to FLA on Sunday to go party it up!

Okay, okay, I’ll actually be in the minivan with the Fam for most of Sunday as we go see my sister and then head out to see some friends where more than likely I will end up napping in a lounge chair for most of the week.

Spring break napping, bitches!

That’s how I roll.

In honor of spring break, and the fact that I will not be posting next week because of the HARDCORE NAPPING, I am giving you all a little blast from the past. I have pulled out one of my first paid submissions: The Seven Deadly Drabbles!

This collection of drabbles was originally produced by the Drabblecast way back in ’09 (’08?) and I’m pretty proud of it. Shit, Pride is one of the sins. Dammit.

Anyhoo, I hope you dig them and learn something from these little tidbits or morality. Just remember, when you are busy slurping Jell-O shots from a co-ed’s cleavage, you are putting your immortal soul in danger. Not to mention the sanitation issues of sucking stuff from other people’s bodies. Ewww, gross.

Enjoy!

***

The Seven Deadly Drabbles
By
Jake Bible

1

“Just How Safe Is Imported Food, And What Can You Do About It?” the headline ran.

I don’t know, he thought. What can I do about it?

He took the second to last bite of his imported prosciutto, fresh mozzarella and olive tapenade panini while scanning the article.

“Wow,” he said aloud. “There really isn’t much I can do.”

“That’s right, bitch,” his Italian sandwich snapped. “Not a goddamn thing.”

He felt the fever build and saw glorious colors before his eyes. How could such a delicious sandwich be so mean?, he thought, finishing the last bite before satiated oblivion.

2

When Alan turned his back to the shower head to rinse the shampoo from his hair, his penis couldn’t help but notice the new guy, Fernando, walking into the locker room showers.

Wow, his penis thought, when he saw the new guy’s member. Now that’s a shlong.

Alan turned back around to face the shower wall, grabbed a bar of soap and started lathering his crotch with it.

I could never live up to that, his penis thought while enduring the sudsy onslaught. Why even bother anymore? What’s the freakin’ point?

Alan’s penis sighed, depressed, and peed in the drain.

3

Betty waited all afternoon with the blanket in her hands, waiting for Tommy to come home.

When the door creaked open, she pounced, pulling the blanket over Tommy, pinning his arms to his side. He cried out in surprise.

Although Tommy was bigger, Betty used her momentum to knock her brother’s legs out from under him and slam him to the floor. Keeping him pinned, Betty yanked Tommy’s shoes and socks off and pulled a large, white feather from her back pocket.

“Make me pee my pants, will ya!” she cried, as she set to work on his exposed feet.

4

Cade and Worthington stood on the edge of the building and watched as millions below fornicated. The entire city was in the streets, naked and writhing in one last gasp of carnal passion.

“Damn! Look at ‘em go,” Worthington said, slapping his knee. He turned to look at Cade and narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

“What? What are you looking at?” he asked.

“My date for the End Of Days,” Cade grinned, licking his lips invitingly.

“Okay, but I get tops this time,” Worthington sighed.

The demons joined hands and stepped off the roof to join the horny hordes below.

5

“Ten pounds of flesh,” Boltstone said, without taking his eyes from his work.

“What?” Damascus replied. “That’s insane.”

Boltstone looked up from his ledger and set his pen down. He pulled off his reading glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. Setting his spectacles aside, he glared at Damascus.

“Price went up,” Boltstone growled.

Damascus started to object, but feeling the stares from those in the infinite line behind him, he angrily flipped open his courier’s bag and grabbed two bloody, dripping muslin bags. He slapped them on the counter and huffed away.

“Next,” Boltstone sighed, replacing his glasses.

6

“Holy crap dude, you’re a freaking zombie!” Jessup cried.

“Bite me,” Mort snapped back.

“No, dude, seriously, you’re a zombie. Flesh eating undead and all, man,” Jessup pressed. “You should really see yourself. You ain’t looking so hot.”

Mort glared at his best friend. “You know what, Jessup? I am really sick and tired of your bullshit.”

“Fine, whatever, dude. I’m outta here. I’ll call ya later.” Jessup grabbed his brown hoody and crawled out Mort’s bedroom window. “Just don’t let ‘em catch you outside, okay?”

Mort watched him leave, then flung his mother’s half-eaten brains at the window.

“Asshole.”

7

Reynolds wept from the pain. The Captain had warned him. The Chief Medical Officer had warned him. Hell, the fat ass Chief Engineer had warned him.

“Work out in full G at least three times a day or your muscles will atrophy,” everyone said.

Reynolds didn’t like full G; weightlessness was bliss and why leave bliss?

When the ship entered orbit and full G was forced upon all compartments as part of the re-entry protocol, Reynolds’ legs had snapped almost instantly from lack of use and supporting muscle.

He stared up at the intercom, four impossible feet above him.

“Shit.”

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Morality is in the eye of the beholder.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Spring has sprung on this glorious Friday!

Let the Party begin!

But, before you do, maybe you should check out something from a good friend of mine. You like horror? You like scary evil that comes bubbling up out of the deep? Yes, you do!

Paul E. Cooley’s The Black is on sale for $.99! You really should check it out!

41Rcz5oaX-L._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-v3-big,TopRight,0,-55_SX278_SY278_PIkin4,BottomRight,1,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_Now, on to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

One Mistake
By
Jake Bible

“Lock the door!” Edward yelled as he shoved Tara into the hotel room and whirled around to see Carlos just standing there. “Dammit, lock the door!”

“It won’t matter,” Carlos muttered. “They’ll get in anyway. They always do.”

“Lock the door, bolt the door, and we’ll shove the bed up against it!” Edward shouted as he slapped Carlos across the face. “We can still live!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Carlos said. “They’re all gone. Everyone. One mistake. That’s all it took.”

“That’s all it ever takes,” Tara said as she put the gun to her head. “One mistake.”

The gunshot was deafening.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: True dat.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Another Friday the 13th on Drabble Party night? Say what?

It’s like the universe wants us all to embrace the macabre and rejoice in the fantastic and horrific!

Hey, speaking of fantastic and horrific, have you checked out Intentional Haunting yet? You should. It’s been nominated for a Bram Stoker Award! Huzzah! If you already have enjoyed its twistedness then feel free to leave a review. Those little word piles sure do help a novel out.

IntentionalHaunting_EbookCover

Now, how about a drabble?

Enjoy!

***

Honey Pot
By
Jake Bible

The valley was filled with plant life the two thought extinct.

Trees, their leaves broad and lush; bushes, flowers purple and bright; grass, knee high; dandelions, bright yellow.

“Oh, Hal,” Melanie sighed. “It’s gorgeous.”

“Yeah, baby, it is,” Hal smiled as he took Melanie’s hand.

The two stepped from the road and onto the dirt path that lead into the lush, verdant valley.

Ten yards, twenty, thirty, sixty.

That’s all they had to go to realize the hidden oasis was a sham.

“Plastic,” Melanie cried. “But why?”

As the hatches opened and the armed men climbed out, they knew why.

***

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Sometimes you shouldn’t stop and smell the flowers.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

It’s that time of the week again!

No, not kale juice colonic time. How man times do I have to tell you that those are Thursdays? Get a calender, people. Sheesh.

Nope, it’s Drabble Party time!

Nothing really to announce tonight before the drabbletastic storytelling begins. But, hey, if you feel like clicking one of those links up above then please do so. Before or after you read the drabble. I don’t mind. Links get lonely too, you know. They need love just as much as every other digitally inanimate object.

LOVE THE LINKS!

Now, on to the drabble!

Enjoy!

***

Keep Saving
By
Jake Bible

With every word reproduced came pain.

Immeasurable pain that engulfed Elizabeth’s body, from her finger tips to the ends of her scorched, brown hair. Yet she knew she had to keep copying the scrolls, get their contents down before the ancient documents burned to a crisp.

The tablet glowed blue, but the light fought against the reflections of the flames that consumed the tunnel, consumed what was left of the abbey.

“I can do this,” Elizabeth coughed as the smoke began to fill her lungs, almost as painful as the flames that ravaged her skin. “Just keep saving. Keep saving.”

***

 

Cheers!

Disclaimer: Sometimes stop, drop and roll just won’t cut it.

Friday Night Drabble Party!

Last Friday of February!

That has zero significance, but I thought I’d say it.

So, before we hop into tonight’s drabble, I have a few announcements.

1. My teen horror novel, Intentional Haunting, has been nominated for a Bram Stoker Award! Huzzah! I’ll find out in May whether I’m a winner or just honored to be nominated. (Permuted Press has dropped the ebook price to $2.99! Go get a copy!)

2. Permuted Press has dropped the price of Little Dead Man as well. This is my YA zombie novel filled with plenty of Jake Bible action, just minus my potty mouth. It’s a roller coaster ride of post apocalyptic goodness! Got get a copy while it’s $.99!

3. Z-Burbia is on sale for the next day at $.99! If you haven’t read my bestselling Romeroesque zombie series then this is your chance to get the first one cheap! CHEAP, I SAY! Plus, if you buy the ebook, you can also get the audiobook for just $1.99! $1.99, I SAY! WHAT A BARGAIN!

Just click on the pics below for the novel of your choosing! Be sure and grab one of each!

IntentionalHaunting_EbookCoverLDM CoverZburbia_ebook_cover

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, on to tonight’s drabble!

Enjoy!

***

A Collective
By
Jake Bible

 

The sickness spread so slowly that barely anyone noticed. A sniffle in this village one month then a rough cough in the next village a month later. That was it. Just a few sniffles, some coughs, a couple fevers.

The problem was the sniffles, the coughs, the fevers didn’t end, they just hung on for weeks and weeks. People could work, people could socialize, it was never enough to take anyone down.

Not until everyone was sick.

A collective virus, fully activated once a 100% infection rate was achieved.

When it showed its true nature it was over in minutes.

***

 

Cheers!

Disclaimer: WHAT A BARGAIN!

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